Tag: God

The ‘higher power’ and relationships…


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“A definition of Interdependence is, “a reciprocal relation between interdependent entities.”

The key word here is: “reciprocal”. Interdependence can be thought of as a relationship where each party gives and receives from his or her own internal overflow. Which is TOTALLY different than “codependence” which can be thought of as being “addicted to someone”.

Another way to look at it, spiritually, is this:

A codependent person makes someone else his or her Higher Power. An interdependent person knows that The Uni-verse is their Higher Power and keeps their focus on that, while choosing to be in a relationship with someone else who is also looking to The Uni-verse to fulfill them…

You see, when we make someone else our Higher Power, we are REALLY setting ourselves up for pain. This is a top cause of pain in relationships and of break ups. We are looking to someone else for something they can never give us – which is perfect and unwavering Love. There is only one place unwavering Love comes from and that is The Uni-verse.

The Love of The Uni-verse never changes; other people change all the time. When we keep our eyes on The Uni-verse and surrender to It’s will for us, we take everyone else off the hook for our happiness. We no longer seek to take Love from them, but to show up from a place of overflow and give Love to them. This kind of relationship creates two really great givers and FORgivers. This is the cornerstone of having an awesome and long-term relationship.

Are you making a person your Higher Power? Are you ready to take your eyes off of them and put them towards The Uni-verse and accept It’s perfect Love for you? Can you see yourself and those you are in relationship with as imperfect human beings who are fallible and Love them anyways, not because they are fulfilling your every need, but because it is Love that is who you really are? Do you think you might be addicted to someone?” Source; A Top Cause of Relationship Pain & BreakUps!

Of course for me, the Uni-verse is Jesus, but Mastin Kipp makes brilliant sense here. For me, anyway. As Gibran said “Do not say I have found THE truth, but I have found A truth”. Kipp and his site have really been a blessing to me as I try to take a healthier perspective on relationships…

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Take Care of Yourself no Matter What

Alcoholics Anonymous
Image by KayVee.INC via Flickr

Some days, we wake up in the morning, and by the time we go to bed that evening, our life has twisted, changed in a way that we couldn’t predict and don’t want. Our worst fears have come true.

Life as we have known it will never be the same again. The problem isn’t just that this tragedy has come along and knocked our lives for a loop, although that alone would be enough. To complicate matters, we now know how vulnerable we are. And we wonder, in that vulnerability if we can ever trust God, life, or ourselves again.

Many years ago, the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, a spiritually based program designed to help alcoholics recover, cautioned people not to base sobriety and faith in God on the false notion that any person is immune from tragedy. They knew that life would continue to be life.

You are not alone, in your joy or in your sorrow. You may feel that way for a while. But soon you’ll begin to see that many others have experienced, surrendered to, and transcended a similar misfortune or loss. Your pain is important. But you’re not being singled out. Don’t use your misfortune to prove that you were right all along you’re a victim of circumstance, fate, and God.

“God must really love me,” a young man said one day after walking away from a motorcycle accident that should have been tragic.

God loves all of us, whether we walk away pain free or not.

Keep taking care of yourself, no matter what.

God, transform my pain into compassion for others and myself

via melodybeattie.com
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10 Ways to Ask Your Wife for Forgiveness

Husband And Wife

One thing men are very talented at is getting into trouble – especially when they are husbands. Sometimes we’re thoughtless, sometimes we’re forgetful, sometimes we’re selfish, sometimes we’re downright mean. More often than not we get ourselves in deep water because we are – quite simply – clueless.

Regardless of how we got there, trouble is a place we need to vacate, and fast. We need grace, we need understanding and we need forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a sweet and a beautiful thing. But forgiveness can neither be earned nor demanded – it has to be given, as a gift. However, rather than skulk around in hiding, there are a number of things All Pro Dads can do to facilitate the conditions in which forgiveness might possibly thrive.

It’s important to remember that you’re not so much trying to get out of trouble as you are working to heal the relationship. That’s something that requires self-evaluation and humility. So try these 10 Ways to ask your wife for forgiveness…

via allprodad.com

Unfortunately, I need this now. Follow the ‘via’ link above along with me to get the 10 ways…

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Let Your Own Light Shine!!!

Lighthouse

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

– Marianne Williamson, is a best-selling author and speaker.

via thedailylove.com
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Dump it

thues 3
Image by thierry llansades via Flickr

Sometimes, we don’t have one clear feeling to express. We have a bunch of garbage we’ve collected, and we just need to dump.

We may be frustrated, angry, afraid, and sick to death of something all in one ugly bunch. We could be enraged, hurt, overwhelmed, and feeling somewhat controlling and vengeful, too. Our emotional stuff has piled up to an unmanageable degree.

We can go to our journal and write this whole mess of feelings out, as ugly as it looks and as awkward and ungrateful as it feels to put it into words. We can call up a friend, someone we trust, and just spifi all this out over the phone. Or we can stomp around our living room in the privacy of our own home and just dump all this stuff out into the air. We can go for a drive in our car, roll the window down, and dump everything out as we drive through the wilderness.

The important idea here is to dump our stuff when it piles up.

You don’t always have to be that healthy and in control of what you feel. Sometimes, dumping all your stuff is the way to dean things out.

God, help me understand that sometimes the only thing preventing me from moving forward in my life is hanging on to all the stuff that I really need to dump.

via melodybeattie.com
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Do You Forgive Yourself?

Rembrandt – “The Return of the Prodigal Son
Image via Wikipedia

We often talk about the importance of forgiveness and resentment release, release resentment, and make peace with what others have hurt us in the past. But what to forgive the person who unwittingly to blame more?

This person is the one you wake up and spend every moment of every day. It is the person most worthy of your love, understanding and forgiveness radical. Obviously, that person is you. Can you forgive?

As sure as you’re alive to read the words on this page, you hurt someone and you have been hurt by someone at some point in their lives. Part of his anger over it can permanently damage inside. It’s barely recognizable, unless you know what you’re looking for. Do you like the sense of wonder, freedom and invincibility fallen by the wayside, replaced by a disguised unforgiveness, fear self-doubt, anxiety, feelings of inadequacy or depression?

If you do not let them get to the last, is the time. There is nothing in the past for you, you can not change what you do. Whatever you want to do something else, let him go. You have the best you can do with what you had, you know and where you were in your life at that time.

You have complete control over how, where, on the effects of this. This is a new day. Do the best you can do. You will not always get it quite right, but that’s okay. Forgive yourself and start again.

That were not put on this earth to make everything perfect at all times in your life. In fact, life is just the opposite. The journey of life is full of unexpected twists and turns and sometimes unpleasant. Too bad and cause problems, to make bad decisions and experience the effects of other bad decisions. But you do not have to do is get stuck. Guilt serves no purpose other than to keep, then release. You live and learn. Forgive those who hurt you, and most importantly, forgive yourself.

Before proceeding with the rest of your day, I encourage you to take a long time now to repeat (5-20 times) my favorite positive affirmation of forgiveness:

I totally and unreservedly apologize to myself.

Use this daily affirmation. Tape to your mirror, your desk or dashboard of your car. Use it as a reminder to live like you’re in this for more than the past.

Your job in life is to recreate yourself and your life story every day, but how to change history if they do not move in the next chapter?

Stop reliving the past and start creating today. My friend … please fully forgive you.

via imaginethespirit.wordpress.com
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It’s Time To Let Go!

Love Problems and Advice Illustrated SA
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It’s okay to let go.

True Love is letting go. Freedom and free will are the by-products of Love.

So many of us lead our lives holding on so tightly that nothing new, nothing miraculous can find us.

We have been taught for a very long time that holding on is what makes us strong, is what Love is made of and is the best answer.

But we are stepping into a new paradigm. We are stepping into a time where growth and Love lead the way. This means we are constantly changing, evolving, dying and being reborn.

What must come first is our own spiritual growth. This means listening to our intuition, trusting our gut and expressing ourselves authentically without hiding.

Holding on to a broken relationship stunts our growth. You don’t get points from The Uni-verse for how much you suffer. The Uni-verse wants to deliver to you all that your heart desires.

via thedailylove.com
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10 Ways to Get Your Wife to Trust You

Walterignez
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Two brothers live at home with their parents. Don, 17, has a strict curfew. Dan, 16, is never told when to come home. The difference is trust.

Mom and dad know Dan will be home around 10:00. If he’s going to be late, he always calls. But Don never lets them know what he’s up to and he’s lied consistently for years.

For all his openness and detailed communication, Dan feels free as a bird. Don, however, even though he keeps many secrets, always resents what he experiences as a short leash.

Marriage is a similar dance of trust and credibility. Partners who demand “freedom” and push the limits to see how tethered they really are never experience the sense of liberty experienced by those who respect their spouse, keep no secrets, and keep one-another informed about everything.

Non sequitur? Not really. Trust is a sticky issue, but it’s an irreplaceable element if relationships are to experience the kind of freedom and confidence that can only be grounded in mutual respect.

Here are 10 ways to foster trust with your wife…

via allprodad.com

Follow the ‘via’ link if you’d like the 10 ways. Me? I’m working on it…

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On Self-Knowledge – Kahlil Gibran

Khalil Gibran
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On Self-Knowledge – Kahlil Gibran
.
And a man said, Speak to us of Self-Knowledge.
And he answered saying:
Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.
But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart’s knowledge.
You would know in words that which you have always known in thought.
You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams.
.
And it is well you should.
The hidden well-spring of your soul must needs rise and run murmuring to the sea;
And the treasure of your infinite depths would be revealed to your eyes.
But let there be no scales to weigh your unknown treasure;
And seek not the depths of your knowledge with staff or sounding line.
For self is a sea boundless and measureless.
.
Say not, “I have found the truth,” but rather, “I have found a truth.”
Say not, “I have found the path of the soul.” Say rather, “I have met the soul walking upon my path.”
For the soul walks upon all paths.
The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed.
The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.

via waystoselflove.com
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Become What You Want To Date or Marry

ジンジャー&レモンマートルティー 2011.9.16
Image by Poran111 via Flickr

Written from a women’s perspective and full of wisdom…

#1 – Look in your relationship mirror

If you’re in an unhealthy relationship or with someone that is not fulfilling you, look in the mirror.  What do you see in them that you yourself own? [sic]  If they’re cold and distant, well maybe you share that quality in your life, or perhaps are accepting that quality because you feel you deserve it.  It’s important to understand the reason why we attract people who are not satisfying us and better yet, why we stay.

#2 – Mate “Must-Haves”

Time to get out a pen and piece of paper…it’s “list” time.  You’re going to make a list of all the attributes that are a “must” in a future mate.  Make two columns on a piece of paper.  Title the left column “must have qualities in a mate”…and then start listing them (i.e. family oriented, hardworking, funny, etc.) Once you’re done, turn to the right column and title it – “qualities in me”.  Then go down the list you made for your mate and check off those traits that you yourself have. Those traits that are left unchecked, if they’re really important to you, then work on creating them in your own life (for instance, if you want a man who is sensitive, yet you hold your feelings close to your chest, work on opening up).  After you’re done with this list, run it by a friend for an objective view.

#3 – Be realistic

Let’s be honest, you’re not going to be able to tell if the man you just met (whether online or in person) has all of your must-have mate qualities upfront.  Give it time…after a few dates you will see if you start checking those must-have traits off the list.  Also, while looking out for those traits, be open to other qualities that may be attractive to you as well.  It’s also important to know that one mate will not obtain ALL your must-have traits.  So pick 3-4 that are truly must-haves and leave the rest for ‘nice-to-haves’.

It’s crucial in this process of finding our life-long mate to be aware of the qualities you find attractive in someone else that you can also find them in yourself. First and foremost, you need to be that ‘person’ for yourself!

via thedailylove.com

“First and foremost, you need to be that ‘person’ for yourself!” True dat…

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10 things scripture says about being a father

Father/Son A and B
Image by heymarchetti via Flickr

There is nothing easy about being a dad. Especially nowadays, if conversations around the water-cooler are anything to go by. Well, we hear your pain. But an honest look at history reveals a—well—comforting familiarity to the foundational premise.

Fact is; dads have been throwing their hands up in the air for literally thousands of years. Fortunately for us this means we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. The iPod, maybe. But the wheel, no.

While children were frustrating the dads of yore, the teachers of yore also came up with their own ideas. So we took a look:

“10-Ways to teach your son to fight Romans” didn’t seem PC.

“10-Ways to marry off your daughter before she becomes a teenager” also didn’t work for us.

“10-Ways to plague the Egyptians” wasn’t going to pass muster with the State Department.

The good news, however, is that we did find the following—more appropriate—10 things scripture says about being a father.

via allprodad.com

Follow the ‘via’ link if you’re interested in knowing what Scripture says about Fathering…

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5 Traits of a Good Marriage

Hindu marriage ceremony from a Rajput wedding.
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Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, say in their book, When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages, that there are 5 traits of a healthy, life-long marriage: ownership, hope, empathy, forgiveness, and commitment. Here is a summary of each of those characteristics.

1. Ownership: Taking Responsibility

Often, couples believe their problems are the result of the other person’s actions.  It’s easy to avoid responsibility for our problems by blaming someone else.  But in the long-haul, admitting mistakes and owning up to our part of the problem is the single most powerful predictor of turning something bad into something good. Couples need to realize that it’s not who’s wrong, but what’s wrong that counts.

2. Hope:  Believing that Good Ultimately Triumphs

The foundation of hope is belief.  We must believe that the kind of marriage we want is possible.  Hope keeps love alive.  Stop hoping and marriage dies.

3. Empathy:  Walking in your Spouse’s Shoes

A spouse must be aware of what their spouse is feeling and what’s behind that feeling.  Empathy involves both the head and the heart. Many of us do one or the other pretty well; we either feel our partner’s pain with our heart, or we try to solve their problem with our head.  To do both can be a challenge.  But that is what empathy is all about.

4. Forgiveness:  Healing the Wounds

In a good marriage, both husbands and wives are quick to ask for forgiveness and to grant forgiveness. The simple words, “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” are magical in marriage. Forgiveness was designed to heal the deepest wounds of a human heart.

5. Commitment: Loving for Life

No matter how long a couple has been married, commitment may be the most effective tool good marriages use in battling bad things. Without commitment and the trust it engenders, marriages would have little hope of lasting.

In the face of difficulty, the key is to stay committed to your spouse and work together. Sit down with your spouse tonight and discuss how you are doing in each of these categories.

via markmerrill.com

As the Apostle Paul said “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” I’m struggling with many of these issues right now, trying to do the right thing with my wife despite manipulation from her family. Don’t they realize we have enough drama in our lives without more from their Karpman Drama Triangle?! Apparently not — the problem is that other people are unmanageable and the only thing I can manage is me…

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Accept The Good To Receive It!

“God gives some more than others because some accept more than others.”

“Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.”

via thedailylove.com
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Make it a Habit

"Praying Hands" (study for an Apostl...
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Melody Beattie says…

After I left treatment, praying in the morning became part of my routine. I prayed as though my life depended on it, because it did. I didn’t feel like I had begun my day properly unless I started it with a recovery prayer, asking for God’s help and guidance.

After my son died, I was so angry about his death that I stopped my morning routine. But there came a time when I had to get back to my routine of talking to God. It can be hard to believe that God cares about the details of our lives. It can feel awkward talking to a force we can’t see or hear.

Challenge: For me, the hardest thing about praying is that I drag my heels and balk at the discipline of regular prayer. I need to remind myself that prayer isn’t work, It works.

via melodybeattie.com
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Just Be You

Sunrise in bog
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One of the amazing things about life is that every day we get a fresh start. Every day we get the opportunity to learn a new lesson, grow a little more, deepen our connection to life, to each other and to our own spirit.

Sometimes, the desire to expand can cause us to forget that which we already are.  While it is important to continue evolving, learning and growing, being too focused on this can get in the way of our ability to be present and enjoy what we have.

via thedailylove.com
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Joel Osteen jokes…

Alriiiiiiight…

;-)

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To forgive…

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

– Lewis B. Smedes, was a best-selling and renowned Christian author. 

via thedailylove.com
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Acting As If

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life...
Image by ~K~ via Flickr

Acting as if is another recovery truism that’s been around for a long time. I still use it regularly in my life.

I know people who are not in recovery athletes, performers, artists -who use the technique too.

All it means is that if it’s time to act, we do— whether taking that action feels comfortable or not. Instead of doing nothing, or waiting for confidence, success, or inspiration to overtake and motivate us first, we go ahead and move forward with an action anyway and let the good feelings catch up to us. We act as if the desired change has already taken place.

via melodybeattie.com
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25 characteristics of a husband who truly loves his wife

I Think I Love You
Image via Wikipedia

1. Includes his wife in envisioning the future.

2. Accepts spiritual responsibility for his family.

3. Is willing to say “I’m sorry” and “Forgive me” to his family.

4. Discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed.

5. Seeks consultation from his wife on all major financing decisions.

6. Follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.

7. Anticipates the different stages his children will pass through.

8. Anticipates the different stages his marriage will pass through.

9. Frequently tells his wife what he likes about her.

10. Provides financially for his family’s basic living expenses.

11. Deals with distraction so he can talk with his wife and family.

12. Prays with his wife on a regular basis.

13. Initiates meaningful family traditions.

14. Initiates fun family outings for the family on a regular basis.

15. Takes the time to give his children practical instruction about life.

16. Manages the schedule of the home and anticipates pressure points.

17. Keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt.

18. Makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will.

19. Lets his wife and children into the interior of his life.

20. Honors his wife in public.

21. Explains sex to each child in a way that gives them a wholesome perspective.

22. Encourages his wife to grow as an individual.

23. Takes the lead in establishing sound family values.

24. Provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests.

25. Is involved in a small group of men dedicated to spiritual growth.

via allprodad.com

Hmmm. I’m doing OK, but would like to do better. How about you?

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Phillipians 3:12-14

“Phil:3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

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Right Where You Need To Be (via Breathe.Smile.LetGo)

I love WordPress! Here’s another great blogger I found who is using it well. I was drawn in by this quote — “Many times on my journey I stopped short, convinced I would never find the place I was trying to find, only to discover that it was right in front of me all the time. (M. Beattie)” — and liked the rest of what I saw while I was there. I now subscribe to ‘Breathe.Smile.LetGo.’…

The other day I was driving along and realized suddenly that it takes more effort than it used to for me to brake. It got me to thinking about how that gradual change in my brakes’ effectiveness has finally caught up enough for it to be noticeable. It was nothing that happened over night. It was a combination of events that have occurred over the past 40 thousand miles. And then I started thinking about the larger picture… Did you know that if … Read More

via Breathe.Smile.LetGo

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