10 Strategies to Help Solve Your Marriage Problems

Many good marriages slip into crisis because we don’t or won’t believe how much work it takes to keep relationships humming at optimal levels. Another reason is a simple failure in imagination.

But – if successful courting requires commitment, hard work and imagination to pull off… then why does it surprise us when neglect hurts relationships after we walk down the aisle? She wouldn’t have married you if you took her for granted – why risk everything now?

There are many good strategies if we want to restore a problematic – or “under the weather” – marriage. All Pro Dad suggests the following 10 for men who want to get the ball rolling…

via allprodad.com

Follow the ‘via’ link if you’re interested in the 10 strategies…

November 28, 2011 0

10 Essential Tips For Great Communication With Your Kids

Children in Jerusalem. — Image via Wikipedia

An open and honest continuing dialogue with our children is crucial for parental success. When walls are created and information stunted, we are not able to forecast trouble looming on the horizon. Lack of proper communication also stymies solid bonding between parent and child. Many family tragedies could be avoided simply by talking. Here are some thoughts to help bring the joyous sounds of constant family chatter to your home…

via allprodad.com

Follow the ‘via’ link to get the 10 tips…

October 4, 2011 0

10 Ways to Get Your Wife to Trust You

Two brothers live at home with their parents. Don, 17, has a strict curfew. Dan, 16, is never told when to come home. The difference is trust.

Mom and dad know Dan will be home around 10:00. If he’s going to be late, he always calls. But Don never lets them know what he’s up to and he’s lied consistently for years.

For all his openness and detailed communication, Dan feels free as a bird. Don, however, even though he keeps many secrets, always resents what he experiences as a short leash.

Marriage is a similar dance of trust and credibility. Partners who demand “freedom” and push the limits to see how tethered they really are never experience the sense of liberty experienced by those who respect their spouse, keep no secrets, and keep one-another informed about everything.

Non sequitur? Not really. Trust is a sticky issue, but it’s an irreplaceable element if relationships are to experience the kind of freedom and confidence that can only be grounded in mutual respect.

Here are 10 ways to foster trust with your wife…

via allprodad.com

Follow the ‘via’ link if you’d like the 10 ways. Me? I’m working on it…

October 3, 2011 2

10 Ways To Teach Your Children To Be Brave

The definition of brave is having courage; valor. Synonyms include intrepidity, fearlessness, boldness, daring, prowess, heroism, pluck, audacity, nerve, mettle and spunk. Those are all certainly words we would love associated with our children. However, what is the essence of bravery? What is that certain quality we want to instill in our children that will make them brave when others cower? We will attempt to break that down in these 10 ways…

via allprodad.com

Follow the ‘via’ link if you’re interested in reading about the 10 ways…

September 29, 2011 0

You Are Enough, Period!

A sketch of the human brain imposed upon the p... — Image via Wikipedia

Mastin Kipp shares this thought today…

Where we get our source of approval from is everything. As children we look up to and make our parents our Higher Power. We think they are perfect, infallible human beings. We eventually learn (some earlier than others) that this isn’t the case. Part of stepping onto and into The Path of our Highest Potential is learning to re-parent ourselves.

This means realizing that our parents are not perfect people and loving them anyway. We realize that The Uni-verse has perfect love & approval for us and that we need not chase. We are approved of and loved as we are, where we are and for who we are right now. This allows us to take a step back and no longer need perfect Love from our parents and instead, we can be grateful for their role in our lives as stewards of our lives instead of masters of our destiny.

Once we begin to heal this process, the other relationships of our lives improve. When we no longer assign magical qualities to our parents, or if we were never loved by our parents or assign magical qualities to other people, we see reality and take our power back. When we know that we are already approved of as Children of The Uni-verse, we no longer need to seek approval in business, with sex, with drugs or with status and stature. We can instead rest in the perfect imperfection of who we already are and let it be.

No longer seeking approval, we now have the confidence, self-esteem and personal integrity to create relationships of a higher caliber. We no longer need to use sex as a way to make us feel loved, but instead as a byproduct of love and intimacy. We no longer are defined by fancy things or big houses, because “stuff” doesn’t validate us.

When we can allow ourselves and everyone in our lives to be imperfect and love them anyways, we have taken a massive leap towards Love.

What would your life look like if you lived it without the compulsive desire to show your parents how awesome you are, or to get their approval? What would your love life look like? What would your professional life look like?

How would your life be different if you KNEW in every cell of your being that you are enough, right now, as is… PERIOD?

via thedailylove.com

September 23, 2011 0

10 Things to Consider Before You Let Your Children Quit

Life is difficult. It’s a given! We’re born, we open our eyes, dad misinterprets our cry, mom puts the diaper on too tight, someone else drops our pacifier – and it begins.

But this is how life works. Challenge is built into the equation; learning requires patience; problem solving is a key element to fulfillment; obstacles come our way every day. World leader Winston Churchill gave a speech at his old school in the darkest days of WW2; he’d had a miserable time there and was considered a failure. He walked to the podium and surveyed the crowd of awe-struck students. “This is the lesson,” he said. “Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never – in nothing, great or small – never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense….”

But we also live in this world of entitlement: “’I deserve this.” “I want mine now!” “Children should have everything they want.” “It’s my responsibility to make my kids happy.” “Satisfy me now!”

But, and experience proves this every time, pretty much everything worthwhile comes at the price of investment. It’s not just that the reward is sweeter after the long haul. It turns out that the process of getting from A to B is intrinsically worthwhile – regardless of the payoff at the end. The key to success is perseverance.

However, there are times we and our children should quit something. We do the math and realize the best option is to do something else. But what are the guidelines?

via allprodad.com

Follow the ‘via’ link if you’re interested in the 10 things to consider…

Finish What You Start (jeffalexanders.wordpress.com)
Hard Times Quotes (mademan.com)
Stay Strong Quotes (mademan.com)

September 13, 2011 0

10 things scripture says about being a father

Father/Son A and B — Image by heymarchetti via Flickr

There is nothing easy about being a dad. Especially nowadays, if conversations around the water-cooler are anything to go by. Well, we hear your pain. But an honest look at history reveals a—well—comforting familiarity to the foundational premise.

Fact is; dads have been throwing their hands up in the air for literally thousands of years. Fortunately for us this means we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. The iPod, maybe. But the wheel, no.

While children were frustrating the dads of yore, the teachers of yore also came up with their own ideas. So we took a look:

“10-Ways to teach your son to fight Romans” didn’t seem PC.

“10-Ways to marry off your daughter before she becomes a teenager” also didn’t work for us.

“10-Ways to plague the Egyptians” wasn’t going to pass muster with the State Department.

The good news, however, is that we did find the following—more appropriate—10 things scripture says about being a father.

via allprodad.com

Follow the ‘via’ link if you’re interested in knowing what Scripture says about Fathering…

September 12, 2011 0

10 Tips on Dealing with Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry has been described as a shoot-out between Siamese twins. When your children are in conflict, it’s not fun to watch them take out their hurts and anger on one another. As Barbara and I watched our six children struggle through hundreds of squabbles, conflicts, disputes, and divisions, we would wonder, Are we being successful as parents? Is there something we’re doing wrong? Are we raising a group of juvenile delinquents?

The truth is that conflict is common to all interpersonal relationships, and every parent knows that it’s especially true between siblings. Children are going to struggle with one another, compete with one another, irritate one another, and have conflict. As parents we came to the conclusion that if we are going to have to endure these conflicts, we would turn them into training opportunities. As a result we repeatedly taught our children to honor one another, to begin to speak well of one another, and to resolve disputes as they occur.

In the process, Barbara and I learned a few lessons that we’d like to share with you. If you are like we were in this phase of parenting, you can use every shred of help you can get!

via familyminute.com

Right now, this issue is driving me absolutely nuts in our family! I’m over the top tired with the way our boys treat one another and I’m grateful this post appeared when it did. If you want help in this area, follow the ‘via’ link to get all 10 tips. Thanks for sharing, Mark!

September 7, 2011 0

Surprising secrets to school success

After a busy day, dinner, and getting the kids to bed, heaven forbid if sifting through a stack of parenting studies isn’t the first way you choose to unwind!

Still it’s a shame to miss out on what science can tell us about raising happy learners. In the interest of your sanity, we’ve gathered eight extraordinary, somewhat counterintuitive findings about fostering children’s success. Try them and report back to us — we’d love to know how they worked for you!

via greatschools.org

Follow the ‘via’ link above for 6 great ideas. Subscribe to their site if this topic interests you the way it does me…

September 5, 2011 0

25 characteristics of a husband who truly loves his wife

I Think I Love You — Image via Wikipedia

1. Includes his wife in envisioning the future.

2. Accepts spiritual responsibility for his family.

3. Is willing to say “I’m sorry” and “Forgive me” to his family.

4. Discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed.

5. Seeks consultation from his wife on all major financing decisions.

6. Follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.

7. Anticipates the different stages his children will pass through.

8. Anticipates the different stages his marriage will pass through.

9. Frequently tells his wife what he likes about her.

10. Provides financially for his family’s basic living expenses.

11. Deals with distraction so he can talk with his wife and family.

12. Prays with his wife on a regular basis.

13. Initiates meaningful family traditions.

14. Initiates fun family outings for the family on a regular basis.

15. Takes the time to give his children practical instruction about life.

16. Manages the schedule of the home and anticipates pressure points.

17. Keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt.

18. Makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will.

19. Lets his wife and children into the interior of his life.

20. Honors his wife in public.

21. Explains sex to each child in a way that gives them a wholesome perspective.

22. Encourages his wife to grow as an individual.

23. Takes the lead in establishing sound family values.

24. Provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests.

25. Is involved in a small group of men dedicated to spiritual growth.

via allprodad.com

Hmmm. I’m doing OK, but would like to do better. How about you?

August 31, 2011 0

10 Things to do for a Child Who Has Rejected You

“When we think of parenthood, we idealistically dream of wonderful moments and strong happy families. Sometimes life has other plans and challenges for us. Parents can struggle to connect with their own children. Step-parents can be resented and rejected by the children of their new spouse. In all such cases, an unhealthy living situation can evolve. Direct and patient steps must be taken to create a loving and functioning family that will thrive. Here are some ideas to help with this difficult task…” via allprodad.com. Follow the ‘via’ link if you’d like to read the list…

August 27, 2011 0

Motorcycle Seat FAIL

via failblog.org

August 25, 2011 0

8 Thrifty Back to School Date Night Ideas

: Image by Merlijn Hoek via Flickr

“When you’re married with children, finding alone time as a couple is difficult. But when school is back in session, the additional demands of extracurricular activities and assorted family member schedules make it nearly impossible. Tack on the cost involved with a night out, and most couples just simply decide to forgo date night as a luxury. But that kind of thinking needs to be adjusted. Date Night with your spouse doesnt have to be an all-out romantic extravaganza taking weeks of planning. In fact, Date Night doesnt even have to be at night! The important thing is to carve out some time for just the two of you so you can recharge, refocus and maybe even romance each other. Here are 8 Thrifty Back to School Date Night Ideas that you can try.”

Go to the source to read the article: Family Minute – 8 Thrifty Back to School Date Night Ideas.

August 23, 2011 0

Seen Soul Surfer?

Great family movie! I highly recommend it…

August 8, 2011 0

10 Things from Your Life That Will Survive Your Death

English painter from the 1700s depicts Satan a... — Image via Wikipedia

STOP! Right now. You know who you are. You don’t like talking about death. In fact, it makes you very uncomfortable. So you’d just as soon skip the whole conversation.

Fair enough, but consider this. Death will not skip the conversation. You’ve heard the “certain as death or taxes” aphorism. So hang around; death may be inevitable, but there’s a lot of benefit to taking into consideration some of the elements of life that will sail right on through the experience, barely skipping a beat.

All Pro Dad suggests the following “10 things from your life” that most certainly will survive your death. It’s got to make you think!

via allprodad.com

Follow the ‘via’ link if you want the list…

July 22, 2011 0

Don’t Follow your Heart

Why not?

Should you just “follow your heart” as you date, in your marriage, while you work, as you socialize? No. At least not most of the time. That’s because when most people say, “follow your heart,” they’re really just saying, “follow your feelings.” And yes, feelings by themselves can sometimes lead you down a smooth road, but more often than not, they’ll lead you on a road full of potholes and maybe even a fatal crash.

Think about it

How many times have you heard about husbands divorcing their wives of many years to get that “loving feeling” with a new “trophy wife?” How many women have said to you, “I just don’t feel in love anymore.” They’re leaving their husbands for a man who “really listens, understands and cares.” And how many have left their job on a whim because they “felt” like it in order to start a new business that quickly went out of business?

The Problem

We live in a culture where people make major decisions solely in response to their feelings, regardless of who they hurt or what promises they break. Authors Stephen and Alex Kendrick in their book, The Love Dare, say the problem with “following your heart”, as most people define it, is that you are just chasing whatever feels right at the moment, even though it may not be right. It means throwing caution to the wind and pursuing your latest whim, even though it may not be logical. The Kendricks further note that, “People forget that feelings and emotions are shallow, fickle, and unreliable.” Emotions can fluctuate depending upon circumstances. The Kendricks further suggest that instead of following your heart, lead your heart.

via markmerrill.com

Follow the ‘via’ link if you want to connect with author Mark Merrill…

July 19, 2011 0

Thanks to all my family and friends…

…for the many expressions of love and appreciation on my birthday. When I reflect on my life, I think of these immortal pleas from ‘Private Ryan’; “Tell me I’ve lived a good life” “Tell me I’m a good man”. I pray that I live my life in such a way that my wife, my family, my friends and everyone I work with would be able to honestly answer yes…

July 9, 2011 0

Your Parents Owe You Nothing

pablo Now.

Your parents owe you nothing.

They have already given you everything…

Life itself.

When you stop making them responsible for what you feel today, you access your power to really live.

Your parents OWE you nothing today. They gave you the most amazing gift of birth and life. They don’t OWE you respect, apologies, or money. When you can own this you free yourself and are no longer dependent on them for your happiness. Instead of living at the mercy of your past and simply being a reaction to your parents’ actions, you cut the umbilical cord and become free to create a life you choose.

Each moment you hold onto resentment, anger, blame, about the past, you are killing your present. What happened is done and nothing you do, or say now will change what happened. It is done.

Often we refuse to let go, and hold onto the anger at our parents because we feel dignified in doing so. They didn’t give us what we wanted. They weren’t there for us in the way we needed. They abused us, beat us, abandoned us, manipulated us, molested us, or were mean to us.

Yes, you are right. They were not right or justified in what they did.

However: “Do you want to be right or free?”

“Is being right making you happy? Is holding onto being right changing them?”

Each moment you hold onto the resentment, you keep yourself stuck in a prison of victimhood. You are not responsible for what happened to you as a child. It happened. You were young back then.

But now, today, you are responsible for what you choose to do.

via thedailylove.com. You can follow the ‘via’ link if you’d like to read the rest of the article…