1.  Computer Time

Shopping, Gaming, Chatting, Emailing, Working, Couponing, Downloading, Blogging, Reading, Researching, Networking—there are a ton of things to do on the computer! I don’t care what they say, for me it is a time sucker, not saver!

2. TV

It doesn’t even matter what’s on the screen. The addictive glow is enough to induce a trance and shut out the rest of the world.  If this is your preferred method of pushing your spouse away, then get a TV timer and set specific quantities of time that upon which you both agree.

3. Phone Conversations

We sure do like to talk! Family members, friends, doesn’t matter.  We may have just seen them, but we’ll still pick up the phone and engage in a conversation!  Sometimes your spouse will notice and make a comment like, “What could you possibly still have to talk about?” Ouch! It’s time to step away from the phone!

4. Hyper scheduling

Some people are natural social coordinators. We keep the parties, classes, trips, events, and practices scheduled to the tee! All of those plans can occasionally make life hectic. If you are not as socially minded, you look forward to enjoying some down time at home. It’s your haven. Schedule some time each day that will allow the family to unwind. Each week make sure that you’ve blocked some time for all of you to just hang out together at home. Resist the urge to invite anyone else over.

5. Quiet-less House

This one is a stark contrast to the hyper-scheduling spouse. Toddlers and young kids waking up in the middle of the night should be the exception, not the norm.  After several stress-filled hours at home (maybe right around dinnertime), stress starts to creep into your shoulders, and you can actually hear the wrinkles furrowing into your brow!  If your home is in a constant state of harried activity and noise, you and your spouse will suffer from attention-deficit-disorder! It is imperative to create a restful home for at least a portion of the day.

6. Obsessions

Be it a clean house, germ phobia, paranoia, hoarding, eating, or even exercising.  The rituals we obsess about will bump our spouses from their rightful spot as first on the priority list. Identify it, and seek professional help.

7.  Body language

You’re thinking it, your body’s showing it, and they’re getting the hint: It’s not gonna happen tonight, baby! Stop hunching your shoulders, put on something appealing, brush your teeth and smile because somebody loves you!  Don’t let the stress of the day rob you of intimacy with your spouse.

8. Shopping Frivolity

This one is not just about pushing your husband or wife away, financial discord is a marriage killer. If he’s a saver and you’re a spender, get some guidance on how to live and love on a budget. And keep your word. If you have a budget, stick to it. If you’re running up to the store for one quick thing, be back at the agreed upon time instead of wandering the mall or the home-improvement store in an effort to escape your life at home.

9. Making a List

Do you keep a constant running tab in your mind of your spouse’s mistakes or wrong choices? We know it’s hard to let them go. But eventually that list of wrongs will move quickly to a list of resentments, then to bitterness—which will lead you to a very unhappy life.  An unhappy life leads to an unhappy marriage, and an ugly divorce.  Incorporate forgiveness immediately.

10. Your kids

At almost the exact moment our perfect little bundle arrives, we’ve forgotten how they got there. Remember, they were born because two people fell in love. Your spouse comes first.

11. Yelling…