Tag: Events

Saying thanks

Melody Beattie writes:

“We learn the magical lesson that making the most of what we have turns it into more.” Codependent No More

Say thank you, until we mean it.

Thank God, life, and the universe for everyone and everything sent your way.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, and confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. It can turn an existence into a real life, and disconnected situations into important and beneficial lessons. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Gratitude makes things right.

Gratitude turns negative energy into positive energy. There is no situation or circumstance so small or large that it is not susceptible to gratitude’s power. We can start with whom we are and what we have today, apply gratitude, then let it work its magic.

Say thank you, until you mean it. if you say it long enough, you will believe it.

Today, I will shine the transforming light of gratitude on all the circumstances of my life.” via Just For Today Meditations » Blog.

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Stop Reading This (and Start Doing More)

Sorry, but sometimes when I start curating an article, I just can help but grab the whole thing! Justin Miller writes:

Nike’s slogan, Just Do It, goes far beyond the athletic field. It really can serve as a mantra for a successful life.

But in order to turn “Just do it” into a mission statement for living wisely, it’s important to get off the couch, take a hard look at your life and fix what’s broken – without beating yourself up about what might have been.

So wrap up your reading, grab a piece of paper to take down some notes and get ready to make some changes. It’s time for your new life, and that time starts NOW.

Forget regrets

Don’t let past mistakes rob you of your future. It’s easy to look back and see how our mistakes have creates bumps in our road of life, but that doesn’t mean they have to become a compete roadblock that robs us of our future. Regret provides an opportunity for growth. Stop shoulding all over your self. I should have done this. I should have done that. There’s plenty more to get done. Get started today!

Take a cue from their actions, and forget the regret, opening the doors to a different, brighter future.

Assess your needs

Take time to think hard about what  it really is you want to accomplish in your life, and look at what you’re doing that will make that possible. Also think about the things you may be doing right now that are holding you back.

Erase the things that prevent your dreams from seeing fruition, like the after-work drink that turns into ten and prevents you from being on top of your game the next day, and focus on what works.

Ask yourself this question every day. What is one thing I can do right now that will guarantee I have a great day? What is one thing I can stop doing right now that almost certainly guarantees a bad one.

Surround yourself with greatness

Make sure that the people you are hanging out with are people you admire, people who are living a life that you want for yourself. The close proximity to success is a great way to make it part of your own world. They say you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

The time is now

There’s never the perfect time for taking action. If you wait around for perfect conditions – when I lose weight I’ll do it, when the economy looks better I’ll try to branch out – that day will likely never come.

Try to look at today’s conditions as right, no matter what they are, and work with what you’ve been given. You always have the greatest resource available to you. That resource being choice. You choose to take action or not.

Break it down

If a task seems completely unmanageable, break it down into smaller parts.

If you want to write a book, but the idea of it is so overwhelming you can’t seem to get started, it pays to start small. Write a page a day, and within a year, you will have written 365 pages, bringing you that much closer to your goal.

No place for procrastination

Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Taking charge now will not only leave tomorrow free for tackling some other project, but will also erase the guilt you feel when you do procrastinate.

Just take a deep breath, grab the paperwork, and do it. Write the first page, sign up for the gym membership or send out a resume to the firm where you’ve always wanted to work. You can’t get the job if they don’t know who you are.

Focus on the essentials, and let the other things wait

Sure, you’d like to volunteer, plant a garden, get a degree, and take a vacation.  Eventually, you will do all those things. But in the hectic, stress-filled now, choose the most important and most pressing of your goals, and weed out those things that can wait.

Don’t be afraid to say no to the one-acre garden plot and plant a container garden or a few pots of herbs instead. Take a single class as you aim for a degree and plan a weekend away to Vegas with your partner or some friends, making it a temporary stand-in for that backpacking trip across Europe.” via Stop Reading This (and Start Doing More).

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Why Happiness Comes From Within

What defines our happiness?

It’s a common consideration. Many of us look outside ourselves to define our happiness, with things, distractions, events and experiences. And because of this many of us give our inner power away by placing it inside these externalities. Though, it’s not just a bad habit, it’s an understandable conditioning. Our consumer oriented society promotes and supports this way of life. Big companies want nothing more than for you to feel your happiness is dependent on what they provide. A recent soft drink slogan springs to mind which tells you to open your happiness. Governments want to support this lifestyle also, so they can sell patriotism and xenophobia. Perhaps even the executives of the company you work for want to sell you the idea that you are dependent on your job for happiness too. We listen to promises and hand over responsibility for our happiness to the world of things, others and circumstances.” Get the rest here: Why Happiness Comes From Within | PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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“Fighting Well”

“The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning but taking part; the essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well.” Pierre de Coubertin. via Quote: Olympics Spirit and “Fighting Well” | Greatist.comHealth and Fitness Articles, News, and Tips – Greatist.com.

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Remain in Jesus

Stained glass at St John the Baptist's Anglica...

The most famous verse in the whole Bible is probably John 3:16, which says,

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

You’ve undoubtably seen it on signs at sporting events, written on t-shirts, posted on billboards and even on drink cups at some fast food restaurants. And for good reason, it’s an amazing verse! Here’s Jesus telling us about why He came, who sent Him, and what happens for those who put their faith in Him. It’s a great snapshot of the Gospel message. If you’ve never begun the habit of memorizing Scripture, start with this one.

While John 3:16 is an amazing verse, John 3:17 is just as compelling. Jesus continues by telling us,

“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.”

That’s a reassuring statement! Look at the two verses together; first, God loves us enough to send us a Savior, next, if we put our faith in Jesus, if we trust Him as our Lord and Savior, we will have eternal life, and Jesus wasn’t sent to condemn the world as some would have us believe, but to save the world.

That’s where the power for a changed life comes from, from the Savior of the world. Jesus gives us the power for a new life, for a life of freedom from our hurts, hang-ups and habits, but we have to bring them to Him and trust Him to heal us. As we go through Celebrate Recovery we need to ensure that Jesus is the center of our program. We can not do this on our own power. To find change, lasting change, we need to depend wholly on Jesus.

Today, ask yourself, have you been relying on Jesus’ power or your own? If you’ve been relying on Christ’s power, keep it up. Don’t get distracted, don’t stray from the path. But if you find that you’ve begun to rely on anything other than Jesus, a relationship, willpower, a new habit, anything, don’t wait to refocus your attention to Jesus. We all have the tendency to take our eyes off of Jesus, but when we realize we’ve done that, we need to turn to Him in prayer and ask Him for His help to remain focused on and in Him.

Later in the Book of John, Jesus tells us:

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

Jesus isn’t a part of recovery, He is recovery. If we want to live a new life, a life free from hurts, hang-ups and habits, we must remain in Jesus. It is only by and through Jesus that you and I can have new lives here on earth, and eternal life in heaven.

Today, what can you do to make sure that you remain in Jesus?

If you find that you have begun to focus on anything else, are you ready to make today the day you focus on Jesus as your Lord and Savior, as your Higher Power?

Don’t put it off any longer. Remember, Jesus didn’t come to condemn us, but to save us.” via Remain in Jesus.

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Algoma’s Kennedy Blahnik Named Gatorade Athlete Of The Year

Couldn’t happen to a nicer kid!

In its 27th year of honoring the nation’s best high school athletes, The Gatorade Company, in collaboration with ESPNHS, announced Kennedy Blahnik of Algoma High School as its 2011-12 Gatorade Wisconsin Girls Track & Field Athlete of the Year. Blahnik is the first Gatorade Wisconsin Girls Track & Field Athlete of the Year to be chosen from Algoma High School.

The award, which recognizes not only outstanding athletic excellence, but also high standards of academic achievement and exemplary character demonstrated on and off the track, distinguishes Blahnik as Wisconsin’s best high school girls track & field athlete. Now a finalist for the prestigious Gatorade National Girls Track & Field Athlete of the Year award to be announced in June, Blahnik joins an elite alumni association of state award-winners in 12 sports, including Allyson Felix (2001-02, Los Angeles Baptist, Calif.), Derek Jeter (1991-92, Kalamazoo HS, Mich.), Candace Parker (2001-02, Naperville Central HS, Ill.), Abby Wambach (1997-98, Our Lady of Mercy, N.Y.), Mark Sanchez (2004-05, Mission Viejo HS, Calif.), Lolo Jones (1997-98, Roosevelt HS, Ia.) and Bianca Knight (2006-07, Ridgeland HS, Miss.).

The 5-foot-9 sophomore thrower won two individual state championships this spring and led the Wolves to a third-place finish as a team at the Division 3 state meet. Blahnik set a state record in the shot put with an effort of 47 feet, 11 inches and launched the discus 146 feet, three inches. A two-time First Team All-State selection, Blahnik was undefeated in both her signature events in 2012. Her state meet shot distance ranked as the nation’s No. 16 throw by a prep competitor at the time of her selection.

Blahnik has maintained a 4.0 GPA in the classroom. A devoted member of her church community, she has served as the treasurer and vice president of her graduating class and volunteered locally as a vacation bible camp counselor.

“Kennedy Blahnik is an exceptional track and field athlete in our area,” said Duane DuMez, head coach at Kohler High. “The fact that she is throwing this well at such a young age and has already broken state records is a remarkable accomplishment.”

Blahnik will begin her junior year of high school this fall.” via Algoma’s Kennedy Blahnik Named Gatorade Athlete Of The Year | Door County Daily News.

Kennedy is a good friend of my son Quin’s — she kicks his a$$ in the weight room — and I’ve had the pleasure of watching her grow up over the years. Not only is she a great athlete, but a super scholar and nice person as well. Kudos to Kennedy, and her mom and dad Terri and Dean as well…

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If Only…

Terri Cole writes:

Last week’s theme of focusing your energy on what you can do rather than on what makes your feel powerless continues this week as we explore the concept of Living in Non-Reality.

Start by asking yourself if you are in acceptance of certain factual aspects of your life, even if they are not exactly what you want them to be at the moment.

Let’s look at a common example in our lives today – traffic. When you are sitting in traffic, do you complain that if your boss hadn’t called you into a 4:45 pm meeting and you left right at 5pm as planned, you would not be sitting in traffic right now? This line of thinking is living in Non-Reality, and it can permeate all areas of your life if you are not aware of it.

Years ago when I was living in L.A. and spending many hours of my life sitting in traffic, I became aware of my non-reality based inner dialogue. My frustration at “wasting” time inspired elaborate stories of how it was someone else’s fault that I was caught up, and if the facts were just not the facts, I would be freely speeding down the PCH without a care. After a few futile weeks of this behavior, I decided to stop wasting my energy and re-framed my mind about traffic time.

Instead of spinning my wheels (no pun intended), I decided traffic time was my time to restore, to put space between my home and office life. In the morning, it gave me a chance to prepare for the day ahead, and in the evening, it gave me a chance to let go of the daily frustrations and not bring them into my peaceful home. I listened to books on tape, podcasts from interesting speakers and brushed up on my Spanish. This was a much better use of my time than ruminating about whose fault it was that the light turned red before I could cross the intersection.

Although we do have the power to actively change many aspects of our lives, there will always be situations that are out of our control. Your empowerment is in how you manage these events. Can you accept the things you cannot change and surrender to how it is rather than rail against it? Can you find the silver lining, like quality alone time, even when you’re sitting in traffic?

Source: If Only…!

Watch Terri here…

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Stop Sucking and Be Awesome Instead: A Three Step Process

Nobody wants to suck, but the truth is, before you can be great at anything, you’re going to suck. Coding Horror blogger and co-founder of Stack Overflow Jeff Atwood has three simple rules for going from the sucking to awesome.

He writes on Coding Horror that “the only thing that prevents us from being awesome is our own fear of sucking.” What he’s found works for him and others to push past that:

1. Embrace the Suck

2. Do It in Public

3. Pick Stuff That Matters

These are his slides expanding on the above: (As presentation slides, they’re brief but most of the points are pretty clear. For ones that are cryptic, you can download the full presentation with his notes on Slideshare). Get more here:  Stop Sucking and Be Awesome Instead: A Three Step Process.

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What If?

Melody Beattie writes:

I was talking to a friend one day about something I planned to do. Actually, I was worrying about how one par­ticular person might react to what I intended to do.

“What if he doesn’t handle it very well?” I asked.

“Then,” my friend replied, “you’re going to have to handle it well.”

“What if ‘s” can make us crazy. They put control over our life in someone else’s hands. “What if’s” are a sign that we have reverted to thinking that people have to react in a par­ticular way for us to continue on our course.

“What if’s” are also a clue that we may be wondering whether we can trust ourselves and our Higher Power to do what’s best for us. These are shreds of codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, and they signal fear.

The reactions, feelings, likes or dislikes of others don’t have to control our behaviors, feelings, and direction. We don’t need to control how others react to our choices. We can trust ourselves, with help from a Higher Power, to handle any out­come — even the most uncomfortable. And, my friend, we can trust ourselves to handle it well.

Today, I will not worry about other people’s reactions, or events outside of my control. Instead, I will focus on my reactions. I will handle my life well today and trust that, tomorrow, I can do the same.” via June 22: What If?.

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How Your Limiting Beliefs Are Preventing You From The Life You Want

A limiting belief is an established thought pattern that prevents us from achieving what we want or need, no matter how much we strive towards a goal. As long as a limiting belief in place, it acts like a 3-headed dog whose job it is to prevent from achieving your goal.

Simply put, limiting beliefs are things we tell ourselves, mostly with great conviction, as to why something is not possible for us. Why we can’t get rich, why we can’t have a fairytale relationship and so on. When you are operating through the lens of a limiting belief, your perception of reality is narrower and more grim than what it would have been otherwise.

Limiting beliefs are acquired when we are highly impressionable, especially when we were kids. But even as grown ups, there are times when we are vulnerable to form them particularly when faced with adversity. At such times, this sense of helplessness can be high and the mind wants to rationalize why we got into this state.

When we feel cornered, an easy way out is by forming a conclusion, mostly irrational, just so that we don’t get into this state ever again. We try to reach conclusions that we later label as “life lessons”. More often than not, these life lessons are exactly what keep us in the trenches.” Get more here: How Your Limiting Beliefs Are Preventing You From The Life You Want | FinerMinds.

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Making Life Easier

Melody Beattie writes:

Life doesn’t have to be hard.
Yes, there are times we need to endure, struggle through, and rely on our survival skills. But we don’t have to make life, growth, recovery, change, or our day-to-day affairs that hard all the time.
Having life be that hard is a remnant of our martyrdom, a leftover from old ways of thinking, feeling, and believing. We are worthy, even when life isn’t that hard. Our value and worth are not determined by how hard we struggle.
If we’re making it that hard, we may be making it harder than it needs to be, said one woman. Learn to let things happen easily and naturally. Learn to let events, and our participation in them, fall into place. It can be easy now. Easier than it has been. We can go with the flow, take the world off our shoulders, and let our Higher Power ease us into where we need to be.
Today, I will stop struggling so hard. I will let go of my belief that life and recovery have to be hard. I will replace it with a belief that I can walk this journey in ease and peace. And sometimes, it can actually be fun.

Source: Daily Meditation ~ Making Life Easier – Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group

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Christmas Tree Ship Presentation

The Door County Maritime Museum has a special event coming up that I’m sure I’ll be attending, being from Algoma and all. Why don’t you join me?

Join us to hear Rochelle Pennington, the author of The Christmas Tree Ship.

Pennington’s verbal presentation will focus on many of the little-known facts surrounding the story including the ship’s mysterious disappearance, clues washed ashore in the decades following the vessel’s demise, ghost ship sightings of the phantom schooner, and mysterious omens believed to have cursed the ship immediately before it set sail on its final voyage on November 22, 1912.

Pennington’s power-point presentation will include many of the century-old photographs of Captain Schuenemann, his family, and the ship.  In addition, the author will have several artifacts along with her to share with the audience:  an axe used to chop trees down, dishes, a spittoon, a clay pipe, an ornament carved from one of the first Christmas trees raised from the sunken ship in 1971 when the vessel was discovered, and an actual Christmas tree from the cargo.  Underwater photos of the ship in its present state, with trees still visible in the cargo area, will be on display as well.

“Author Rochelle Pennington has written two books detailing one of the most well-known shipwrecks of the Great Lakes, Lake Michigan‘s Christmas Tree Ship, which delivered holiday evergreens to the citizens of Chicago each Chirstmas season before it was caught in the “Great Storm of 1912″ and subsequently went to the bottom of the lake fully loaded with trees.”

She will be with us at 2:00 pm on June 24, 2012 at the Museum to do a presentation.  Pennington will also be signing books.  Copies of both Rochelle’s books, The Christmas Tree Ship: The Story of Captain Santa and The Historic Christmas Tree Ship: A True Story of Faith, Hope and Love are available in our Museum store.

Get more here: Christmas Tree Ship Presentation | Door County Maritime Museum.

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3 Ways To Find the Truth—About Yourself

Michael Hyatt writes:

Many of us have a love/hate relationship with truth. We tell ourselves we want to know the truth, but we’re very selective about the kind of truth we seek. About others, yes—and usually about world events and situations that impact us directly, but we are less receptive to revelations about ourselves.

In fact, self-knowledge is a two-edged sword because we might find out something about ourselves that we would rather not know. We’ve carefully packaged ourselves to look and act in a manner that ensures success in the world. Our ego has dressed us up for so long that many of us don’t even know how to begin to peel back the layers of illusion to expose cold, hard facts about ourselves.” Get more here: 3 Ways To Find the Truth—About Yourself | Michael Hyatt.

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Disappointed Someone? It’s Okay. Get Over It.

“When we are the one responsible behind disappointment, we find ourselves poked by both ends of a double-edged sword – on the one side wounded by disappointment in ourselves, and the other traumatized with guilt towards the party affected.

But like toothaches and awkward puberty, we have to accept the fact that we are all bound to the possibility of disappointment, be it by ourselves, family, friends or co-workers; or by circumstances beyond our control, such as bad timing or a chain of events that eventually domino-crumble down our path.

Disappointment is an essential part of our growth and self-discovery, and despite being uncomfortable and hurtful, teaches us to trust ourselves, recognize our strengths and weaknesses, and let go of our hold on perfection.

By actively avoiding disappointment onto others, sometimes we set ourselves up for more failure and pain instead of less, or none at all.

We understand that like people, disappointment comes in many different shapes and sizes. While we don’t reproach the remorse that comes with our wrongdoing (hey, that’s a sign of empathy, right?), we’re definitely not down with the idea of indulging in continuous self-pity over a missed deadline or a forgotten detail.

So here are some tips you can apply in your personal or work life on how to overcome the emotional self-flagellation that comes with having disappointed someone.” Get more here: Disappointed Someone? It’s Okay. Get Over It..

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Just in case you missed this for 6/3/2012

  1. WordPress

    Sun, Jun 03 2012 07:38:07

  2. Albert Einstein was once asked what the difference was between him and the average person. He said that if you asked the average person to find a needle in the haystack, the person would stop when he or she found a needle. He, on the other hand, would tear through the entire haystack looking for all the possible needles. With creative thinking, one generates as many alternative approaches as one can.
    Einstein’s Needle in the Haystack | P…

    Sun, Jun 03 2012 07:35:06

  3. toddlohenry
    Got A Grudge? Forgiveness Sets YOU Free – Isn’t It Time? http://bit.ly/LbkMS6

    Todd Lohenry

    Sun, Jun 03 2012 07:50:04

  4. toddlohenry
    Daily Share: Letting Go Of Unworthiness http://bit.ly/KHIw5b

    Todd Lohenry

    Sun, Jun 03 2012 07:40:03

  5. toddlohenry
    You Are Not Your Thoughts! http://bit.ly/KHIwSA

    Todd Lohenry

    Sun, Jun 03 2012 07:30:18

  6. toddlohenry
    The Best And Worst Attitudes For A Happy Relationship! http://bit.ly/LbkMl0

    Todd Lohenry

    Sun, Jun 03 2012 07:20:02

  7. toddlohenry
    Share Your Gifts With The World! http://bit.ly/KHIwCa

    Todd Lohenry

    Sun, Jun 03 2012 07:10:02

  8. toddlohenry
    I don’t want to see him lying on that street… http://bit.ly/LbkLxA

    Todd Lohenry

    Sun, Jun 03 2012 07:00:17

  9. toddlohenry
    Saturday Morning Work-Out Inspiration http://bit.ly/KHIv0X

    Todd Lohenry

    Sun, Jun 03 2012 06:50:02

  10. toddlohenry
    Good luck, Quin! http://bit.ly/MiteWM

    Todd Lohenry

    Sat, Jun 02 2012 07:10:03

  11. toddlohenry
    Just in case you missed this for 6/2/2012 http://bit.ly/LntTRN

    Todd Lohenry

    Sat, Jun 02 2012 07:00:18

  12. toddlohenry
    Insouciance… http://bit.ly/Mite9l

    Todd Lohenry

    Sat, Jun 02 2012 06:50:04

  13. toddlohenry
    Don’t Look Back In Anger! http://bit.ly/LnsQBd

    Todd Lohenry

    Sat, Jun 02 2012 06:40:03

  14. toddlohenry
    Of the blessings set before you make your choice, and be… http://bit.ly/KFHCWM

    Todd Lohenry

    Sat, Jun 02 2012 06:30:04

  15. toddlohenry
    A self-love reminder! http://bit.ly/LnsQ4d

    Todd Lohenry

    Sat, Jun 02 2012 06:20:02

  16. toddlohenry
    Song of the Week: “I Won’t Give Up” http://bit.ly/LnsHOh

    Todd Lohenry

    Sat, Jun 02 2012 06:10:08

  17. toddlohenry
    Ask the Entrepreneurs: 15 Ways to Clean Up and Conquer Office Clutter http://bit.ly/LnsISb

    Todd Lohenry

    Sat, Jun 02 2012 06:00:36

  18. toddlohenry
    Surround Yourself with People who Support You – Leave the Naysayers behind http://bit.ly/MiqsRk

    Todd Lohenry

    Sat, Jun 02 2012 05:50:08

  19. toddlohenry
    “Of the blessings set before you make your choice, and be content.” http://bit.ly/LnsIBH

    Todd Lohenry

    Sat, Jun 02 2012 05:40:02

  20. toddlohenry
    TGIF! Today Is A Great Day http://bit.ly/LnsHhe

    Todd Lohenry

    Sat, Jun 02 2012 05:30:14

  21. toddlohenry
    Just in case you missed this for 6/2/2012 http://bit.ly/LnuYsJ

    Todd Lohenry

    Sat, Jun 02 2012 05:29:20

  22. toddlohenry
    Good luck, Quin! http://fb.me/1WxgXfUJN

    Todd Lohenry

    Sat, Jun 02 2012 05:14:27

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A Thank You to Our Veterans

Michael Hyatt writes:

“Today is Memorial Day in the United States. It is a day we set aside to commemorate those who have died in the service of the military. It was first enacted to honor those in the Union Army who died in the American Civil War. After the first World War, it was expanded to include American casualties of any war or military action.

I have never had the privilege of serving in the military. However, I am profoundly grateful for those who have.

In the U.S., I fear we have come to take our national security for granted. The tragic events of 9/11 were a wake-up call. The fact we have not had another terrorist attack on U.S. soil is a testimony to the brave men and women who work tirelessly to protect our freedoms both here and around the world.” via A Thank You to Our Veterans | Michael Hyatt.

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Discovering intimacy

Intimacy is that warm gift of feeling connected to others and enjoying our connection to them.

As we grow in recovery, we find that gift in many, sometimes surprising, places. We may discover we’ve developed intimate relationships with people at work, with friends, with people in our support groups – sometimes with family members. Many of us are discovering intimacy in a special love relationship.

Intimacy is not sex, although sex can be intimate. Intimacy means mutually honest, warm, caring, safe relationships – relationships where the other person can be who he or she is and we can be who we are – and both people are valued.

Sometimes there are conflicts. Conflict is inevitable. Sometimes there are troublesome feelings to work through. Sometimes the boundaries or parameters of relationships change. But there is a bond – one of love and trust.

There are many blocks to intimacy and intimate relationships. Addictions and abuse block intimacy. Unresolved family of origin issues prevents intimacy. Controlling blocks intimacy. Off balance relationships, where there is too great a discrepancy in power, prevent intimacy. Caretaking can block intimacy. Nagging, withdrawing, and shutting down can hurt intimacy. So can a simple behavior like gossip — for example, gossiping about another for motives of diminishing him or her in order to build up ourselves or to judge the person. To discuss another person’s issues, shortcomings, or failures with someone else will have a predictable negative impact on the relationship.

We deserve to enjoy intimacy in as many of our relationships as possible. We deserve relationships that have not been sabotaged. That does not mean we walk around with our heads in the clouds; it means we strive to keep our motives clean when it comes to discussing other people.

If we have a serious issue with someone, the best way to resolve it is to bring the issue to that person.

Direct, clean conversation clears the air and paves the way for intimacy, for good feelings about ourselves and our relationships with others.

Today, God, help me let go of my fear of intimacy. Help me strive to keep my communications with others clean and free from malicious gossip. Help me work toward intimacy in my relationships. Help me deal as directly as possible with my feelings.

via Adult Children Anonymous.

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Just in case you missed this for 5/25/2012

  1. On this day in 1977, Memorial Day weekend opens with an intergalactic bang as the first of George Lucas’ blockbuster Star Wars movies hits American theaters.

    The incredible success of Star Wars–it received seven Oscars, and earned $461 million in U.S. ticket sales and a gross of close to $800 million worldwide–began with an extensive, coordinated marketing push by Lucas and his studio, 20th Century Fox, months before the movie’s release date. “It wasn’t like a movie opening,” actress Carrie Fisher, who played rebel leader Princess Leia, later told Time magazine. “It was like an earthquake.” Beginning with–in Fisher’s words–“a new order of geeks, enthusiastic young people with sleeping bags,” the anticipation of a revolutionary movie-watching experience spread like wildfire, causing long lines in front of movie theaters across the country and around the world.

    With its groundbreaking special effects, Star Wars leaped off screens and immersed audiences in “a galaxy far, far away.” By now everyone knows the story, which followed the baby-faced Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) as he enlisted a team of allies–including hunky Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and the robots C3PO and R2D2–on his mission to rescue the kidnapped Princess Leia from an Evil Empire governed by Darth Vader. The film made all three of its lead actors overnight stars, turning Fisher into an object of adoration for millions of young male fans and launching Ford’s now-legendary career as an action-hero heartthrob.

    Star Wars opens — History.com This Da…

    Fri, May 25 2012 06:10:29

  2. With George Washington presiding, the Constitutional Convention formally convenes on this day in 1787. The convention faced a daunting task: the peaceful overthrow of the new American government as it had been defined by the Article of Confederation.

    The process began with the proposal of James Madison’s Virginia Plan. Madison had dedicated the winter of 1787 to the study of confederacies throughout history and arrived in Philadelphia with a wealth of knowledge and an idea for a new American government. Virginia’s governor, Edmund Randolph, presented Madison’s plan to the convention. It featured a bicameral legislature, with representation in both houses apportioned to states based upon population; this was seen immediately as giving more power to large states, like Virginia. The two houses would in turn elect the executive and the judiciary and would possess veto power over the state legislatures. Madison’s conception strongly resembled Britain’s parliament. It omitted any discussion of taxation or regulation of trade, however; these items had been set aside in favor of outlining a new form of government altogether.

    William Patterson soon countered with a plan more attractive to the new nation’s smaller states. It too bore the imprint of America’s British experience. Under the New Jersey Plan, as it became known, each state would have a single vote in Congress as it had been under the Articles of Confederation, to even out power between large and small states. But, the plan also gave Congress new powers: the collection of import duties and a stamp tax, the regulation of trade and the enforcement of requisitions upon the states with military force.

    Constitutional Convention convenes in…

    Fri, May 25 2012 05:40:25

  3. Tempesttours

    Thu, May 24 2012 13:30:48

  4. Tornado West of Amarillo 5-22-2012.wmv

    u6cYlu7eLr-CpD1QRRr4OA

    Wed, May 23 2012 10:24:23

  5. Noaa

    Thu, May 24 2012 09:45:33

  6. Tornadic Supercell — Adrian Texas — May 21, 2012

    reidstormvid

    Wed, May 23 2012 00:10:43

  7. creativedreadhead: from my Language of Letting Go (by melody beattie) card deck
    toddlohenry

    Thu, May 24 2012 18:02:56

  8. “If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done.“

    – Vince Lombardi

    Today’s Quotes: Your Vision Is Strong…

    Fri, May 25 2012 06:35:15

  9. “Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn’t have it in the beginning.”

    – Mahatma Gandhi

    Today’s Quotes: Your Vision Is Strong…

    Fri, May 25 2012 06:35:15

  10. “Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstances.”

    – Bruce Barton

    Today’s Quotes: Your Vision Is Strong…

    Thu, May 24 2012 18:02:56

  11. Todd’s tweets…

  12. toddlohenry
    Tempesttours’s image http://fb.me/OU162pb7

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 07:52:04

  13. toddlohenry
    Expectations and being ‘right’ http://fb.me/1B2e5PAqD

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 07:50:19

  14. toddlohenry
    Sleep Better: Separate Covers for Blanket-Hog Partners #30DaysofGOOD http://bit.ly/KKtN6w

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 07:50:02

  15. toddlohenry
    Chill… A Delay Is Not A Denial, OK? :o) http://bit.ly/JPvaEP

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 07:40:06

  16. toddlohenry
    Should Your Workplace Ban Facebook? http://bit.ly/KKtKI3

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 07:30:23

  17. toddlohenry
    Which nations consume the most water? http://bit.ly/JPvd3g

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 07:20:02

  18. toddlohenry
    On the Road to Surrender http://bit.ly/JPv8wz

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 07:10:11

  19. toddlohenry
    It happens for a reason… http://fb.me/1EYcoyHyt

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 07:09:00

  20. toddlohenry
    ♫ Various Artists – Bach: For Relaxation And Meditation http://spoti.fi/JPzbJi #Spotify

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 07:07:13

  21. toddlohenry
    Channel Surfing http://bit.ly/KKtFnG

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 07:00:10

  22. toddlohenry
    The Garden Provides More Than Food http://bit.ly/JPv14c

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 06:50:09

  23. toddlohenry
    creativedreadhead:

    from my Language of Letting Go (by melody… http://bit.ly/Jxr2VZ

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 06:29:26

  24. toddlohenry
    BBC http://bit.ly/LuecGJ

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 06:10:10

  25. toddlohenry
    8 Ways to Feel Good at the End of the Work Day http://bit.ly/Lxpwp8

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 06:00:35

  26. toddlohenry
    Meta Widget Turns Nearly Any Web Page Into a Widget on Android [Video] http://bit.ly/JwTUgW

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 05:50:08

  27. toddlohenry
    The Instagram-ish Facebook Camera App http://bit.ly/JwTVBN

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 05:40:03

  28. toddlohenry
    Quiet Your Mind and Just Play http://bit.ly/JXo69M

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 05:30:09

  29. toddlohenry
    Put Your Pants On Without Your Underwear Bunching Up http://bit.ly/K2JjNM

    Todd Lohenry

    Fri, May 25 2012 02:17:07

  30. toddlohenry
    Sitting her nest… http://bit.ly/JWJn3t

    Todd Lohenry

    Thu, May 24 2012 21:30:06

  31. toddlohenry
    Sitting her nest… (Taken with instagram) http://bit.ly/Mx6miw

    Todd Lohenry

    Thu, May 24 2012 21:22:25

0

Quiet Your Mind and Just Play

“If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.” Bob Basso

I spend a lot of time contemplating and philosophizing about life. According to my mother, I spent the first year of my life silently observing the events around me with a serious stare and a furrowed brow.

I’ve always leaned toward reverent acts of self-discovery and introspection. In high school I studied Buddhist texts and on Sunday mornings at age 18, when my college classmates were nursing hangovers, I was shopping around for a spiritual home, which I found in the form of my Unitarian-Universalist church.

For most of my life, I’ve lived with intention and rarely with abandon.

And I think I’m starting to feel the weight of this.

Contemplation has its place, but sometimes life just calls for a little spontaneity—a small dose of irreverence interspersed amongst the otherwise-trying bits of living.

I write this tonight because I have had a few uncharacteristically playful moments over the past few weeks, and I am quite sure they have prevented me from cracking up during some significant stress. Either that or, I am cracking up and my behavior has regressed to that of a 4 year-old.

In either case, it feels good.

And I want to share those good feelings. So to encourage you to foray into the world of play, I’ve created a list of some things that have brought me unexpected and simple joy the past few weeks (along with some things I haven’t quite worked up the nerve to do just yet).

Have fun and en-joy! Read more here: Quiet Your Mind and Just Play (in 20 Ways) | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In.

0

I Am Who I Am, and Who I Am is That, and That is That

Are you closer to the aims of your youth, or are you a copy of a copy, a tangent of a tangent, a limit of a limitation? Are you an imitation of your intended path?

If the answer is not:

“I AM WHO I AM. THAT IS THAT.”

then the answer resides in your sea of pain. Whether conscious of it or not—it is still painful in the long run.

The key to remaining powerful and on point; the key to living in the answer, “I AM WHO I AM” is a combination of avid flexibility and daily consistency. Flexibility prevents you from taking offense to the constant offense of time. Consistency allows you to navigate the constant defensive nature of space. For every one of your actions is an equal reaction. Therefore you must consistently and flexibly check your course against that “master map”—I AM WHO I AM—in order for your life to remain connected with the direction of your core intention. Otherwise, it is increasingly easy to become that tangent of a tangent and then a copy of a copy and then the limits of the limitations of your imitations.

You are either moving forward or backward. Life is never stagnant. Change is the only real constant. There is no standing still in this material creation. Therefore, one must apply a strong daily directional intent to remain on point. Otherwise your direction will be chosen for you—not by you.

via I Am Who I Am, and Who I Am is That, and That is That « Positively Positive.

0

…on Control

Melody Beattie has a good reminder I needed to hear this morning…

“Control is an illusion, especially the kind of control we’ve been trying to exert. In fact, controlling gives other people, events, and diseases, such as alcoholism, control over us. Whatever we try to control does have control over us and our life. I have given this control to many things and people in my life. I have never gotten the results I wanted from controlling or trying to control people. What I received for my efforts is an unmanageable life, whether that unmanageability was inside me or in external events. In recovery, we make a trade-off. We trade a life that we have tried to control, and we receive in return something better—a life that is manageable. Today, I will exchange a controlled life for one that is manageable.

Beattie, Melody (2009-12-15). The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series) (pp. 125-126). Hazelden. Kindle Edition.”

2

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