How do you decide whom to marry?
“You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” ‒ Alan, age 10
How can a stranger tell if two people are married? “You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.” – Derrick, age 8
What do you think your mom and dad have in common? “Both don’t want any more kids.” – Lori, age 8
When is it okay to kiss someone? “When they’re rich.” – Pam, age 7
How would you make a marriage work? “Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.” – Ricky, age 10
Classic. So what do your kids think about your marriage? If you think you need to do a better job portraying what a marriage should be, the first step is to renew the romance. Start with a getaway. Have you ever planned a trip for just you and your wife without the kids? If not, or if you want to do another trip, here are 10 tips for a romantic getaway.
via What Do Your Kids Think About Marriage? | All Pro Dad Blog.
10 Strategies to Help Solve Your Marriage Problems
Many good marriages slip into crisis because we don’t or won’t believe how much work it takes to keep relationships humming at optimal levels. Another reason is a simple failure in imagination.
But – if successful courting requires commitment, hard work and imagination to pull off… then why does it surprise us when neglect hurts relationships after we walk down the aisle? She wouldn’t have married you if you took her for granted – why risk everything now?
There are many good strategies if we want to restore a problematic – or “under the weather” – marriage. All Pro Dad suggests the following 10 for men who want to get the ball rolling…
via allprodad.com
Follow the ‘via’ link if you’re interested in the 10 strategies…
4 Steps to Marriage CPR
When a person needs resuscitation, the signs are obvious. They stop breathing, they’re non-responsive. It’s easy to see that the person displaying these symptoms needs immediate help. In marriage, the symptoms that a relationship requires life-saving measures are sometimes difficult to detect. Couples learn to adapt and function despite their critical status. But functioning in a marriage is not what you and your spouse really want. You want to thrive. So, how can you bring a dying relationship back to life? It’s time to administer some marital CPR by doing four things…
via markmerrill.com
Follow the ‘via’ link above for more…
5 Traits of a Good Marriage
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, say in their book, When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages, that there are 5 traits of a healthy, life-long marriage: ownership, hope, empathy, forgiveness, and commitment. Here is a summary of each of those characteristics.
1. Ownership: Taking Responsibility
Often, couples believe their problems are the result of the other person’s actions. It’s easy to avoid responsibility for our problems by blaming someone else. But in the long-haul, admitting mistakes and owning up to our part of the problem is the single most powerful predictor of turning something bad into something good. Couples need to realize that it’s not who’s wrong, but what’s wrong that counts.
2. Hope: Believing that Good Ultimately Triumphs
The foundation of hope is belief. We must believe that the kind of marriage we want is possible. Hope keeps love alive. Stop hoping and marriage dies.
3. Empathy: Walking in your Spouse’s Shoes
A spouse must be aware of what their spouse is feeling and what’s behind that feeling. Empathy involves both the head and the heart. Many of us do one or the other pretty well; we either feel our partner’s pain with our heart, or we try to solve their problem with our head. To do both can be a challenge. But that is what empathy is all about.
4. Forgiveness: Healing the Wounds
In a good marriage, both husbands and wives are quick to ask for forgiveness and to grant forgiveness. The simple words, “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” are magical in marriage. Forgiveness was designed to heal the deepest wounds of a human heart.
5. Commitment: Loving for Life
No matter how long a couple has been married, commitment may be the most effective tool good marriages use in battling bad things. Without commitment and the trust it engenders, marriages would have little hope of lasting.
In the face of difficulty, the key is to stay committed to your spouse and work together. Sit down with your spouse tonight and discuss how you are doing in each of these categories.
via markmerrill.com
As the Apostle Paul said “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” I’m struggling with many of these issues right now, trying to do the right thing with my wife despite manipulation from her family. Don’t they realize we have enough drama in our lives without more from their Karpman Drama Triangle?! Apparently not — the problem is that other people are unmanageable and the only thing I can manage is me…
Related articles
- 10 Skills For A Successful Marriage (hellobeautiful.com)
- Know Your Spouse (herbertmtowo.wordpress.com)
- How Will I Know My Marriage Is In Trouble? (psychologytoday.com)
Bright, shiny objects! 