The Cat Carol

How to Honor the Rite of Passage of the New Year

shelley-bullardShelly Bullard is one of best bloggers I ‘discovered’ in 2012 through MindBodyGreen. Here’s what she has to say about the new year:

The New Year. A fresh start. A new beginning.

For me, the marking of the New Year is filled with hope, with potential, and with anticipatory excitement. It is a time of reflection–honoring what has been, what is currently happening, and what is yet to come.

Consciously honoring rites of passages such as the New Year allows us to think about our lives in a way we often don’t do. It’s easy to get caught in the grind–moving through life on autopilot. We have our routines and schedules–we trudge along week by week by week.

But the New Year is a break in the pattern. It is an ending and a beginning. It is an opportunity to stop, reflect, and start again.

In this article I am going to guide you towards honoring your New Year. Here are some simple thoughts and questions to help you reflect on what happened in 2012, to align you with what you are grateful for in this very moment, and to set you up to move in the direction you want in 2013.

Full story at: Soul Full: How to Honor the Rite of Passage of the New Year.

Creating A New You For The New Year!

Terri Cole writes:

It is an annual occurrence. We run on autopilot from Thanksgiving through Christmas, and then around December 26, we start to think about new habits we want to create and bad habits we want to ditch. We evaluate what hasn’t been serving our purpose and what we need to change in order to be more fulfilled. For some reason, we have a difficult time implementing new strategies in the present moment. It’s as if we must wait for a momentous occasion that clearly marks new beginnings.

Does the split second between December 31 and January 1 possess some kind of transformational magic? Do we really need a specific calendar date to create our best lives?

Nope. We really don’t.

The biggest challenge is realizing the potential for renewal you have in every moment. If you focus on staying present instead of mulling over the past or anxiously awaiting the future, you can harness the power of your intention and make what seems impossible, possible. Obsessing about what you did and did not do in the past and fearfully projecting into the future is your fear mind limiting your potential.

Once you release the fear, you can stay rooted in the here and now and develop present moment awareness. You can begin to truly discover what you want more and less of in your life based on who you are NOW rather than on how you have behaved in the past.

Recognize you are a work in progress, which is a process that thankfully never ends. Realize that at any moment you can declare a Do Over—to create that magic split second of New Year’s transformation—any day of the week.

You can decide right now that negative experiences from your past will not predict your future. Now is not then, and no matter how familiar it may feel, this present moment has never happened before. Instead of fearing what may happen, harness the mind-blowing power of your intention to create what you want to happen.

Whether it’s now because New Years is right around the corner, or at any other time throughout the year, here is a great exercise to get you on the path to sustainable change.

Full story at: Creating A New You For The New Year!.

Christmas Anxiety? 4 Ways Not To Sweat The Small Stuff

FinerMinds

Full story at: Christmas Anxiety? 4 Ways Not To Sweat The Small Stuff.

The Best Present Is Presence

Lexus Dec to Remember

I HATE CHRISTMAS. Or perhaps it would be better to say I hate what Christmas has become. The consumerism, the expectations, the obligations; none of which have anything to do with ‘reason for the season’ — celebrating relationship with a higher power…

Perhaps that is why I like this perspective from The Minimalists so much:

What if you could receive only one Christmas present this year? What would it be?

The answer for us is simple: time.

You see, the people we care about mean much more to us than a new pair of shoes or a shiny new gadget or even a certified pre-owned luxury car with a huge bow on top.

And yet, many of us attempt to give material items to make up for the time we don’t spend with the people we love. But possessions can’t ever make up for lost time.

The next time someone asks you what you want for Christmas, consider responding with, “Your presence is the best gift you can give me.”

When you’re completely focused in the moment—no TV, no Internet, no distractions—it makes a marked difference in the lives of the people around you. When you’re fully present, your love radiates.

And if you’re going to give gifts this holiday season, why not give your unencumbered time and attention first? Your loved ones will be glad you did.” via The Best Present Is Presence | The Minimalists.

The annual quest for the perfect tree! This year, the Universe smiled upon us; no snow, bright sunshine and crisp weather without wind!

PANO_20121208_140222

By the way, I took this panorama shot with my Sprint Galaxy Nexus S…

8 Tips for Dealing with Difficult Relatives During the Holiday Season

Gretchen Rubin has some valuable insight for those who struggle with the holidays for one reason or another:

Holidays can be tough. Some people love them; some people dread them.

I thought a lot about the holidays as I was writing Happier at Home, because the holiday season tends to be a time when we focus on home. Maybe you’re going “home” the way I go home to Kansas City for Christmas–which may be fun for you, or not. Maybe you’re deciding how to decorate your home. Maybe you’re making an effort to arrange the holidays the way you experienced them as a child–or the opposite. Maybe you’re feeling sad, or happy, about whom you will or won’t be seeing.

From talking to people, it seems that one of the biggest happiness challenges of the holidays is dealing with difficult relatives. You want to have a nice dinner, but Uncle Bobby makes you crazy. What to do?” Get the answer here: 8 Tips for Dealing with Difficult Relatives During the Holiday Season. « The Happiness Project.

Block Friday

LightThe guys over at the Minimalists have this thought to share:

This Friday is the busiest shopping day of the year: Black Friday. Retailers prepare months in advance for this dark day—preparation that’s meant to stimulate your insatiable desire to consume: Doorbuster sales. New products. Gigantic newspaper ads. TV, radio, print, billboards. Sale, sale, sale! Early bird specials. One day only! Get the best deal. Act now! While supplies last.

The Minimalists would, however, like to shed some light on this darkest of Fridays. It’s important to understand that consumption is an unquenchable thirst. Retailers and advertisers and manufacturers know this too well. And thus, they’ve invented an entire day designed to take advantage of your insatiable desire to consume.

The pernicious aspects of Black Friday are not few. The pandemonium of this day is a synecdoche for our consumer culture as a whole. On this day, people consume gluttonously without regard for the harm they’re inflicting on themselves. On this day, greed becomes ravenous. On this day, people live without real meaning, buying gifts to fill a void that can’t possibly be filled with material possessions.

Sadly, people participate in the rapacious nature of Black Friday in the name of a holiday, as if buying gifts was an ideal way to celebrate Christmas. But thankfully, you have options.

Instead of embracing Black Friday, you can Block Friday. You can refuse to buy material items for people to display your love. Rather, you can showcase your love, caring, and affection through daily actions—every day, not just holidays.

If you want to give gifts, why not gift an experience—a nice meal, tickets to a concert, or a sunset on the beach? After all, the best, most loving gift you can give someone is your time and undivided attention.

Will you join us? Will you opt out of Black Friday? If not, why not?

Source: Dark Friday | The Minimalists

I will opt out! I hate what Christmas has become and the stress that it causes by all the false expectations it creates. Give me Thanksgiving with family, food and gratitude and I’ll see you next year…

:-/

Christmas Tree Ship Presentation

The Door County Maritime Museum has a special event coming up that I’m sure I’ll be attending, being from Algoma and all. Why don’t you join me?

Join us to hear Rochelle Pennington, the author of The Christmas Tree Ship.

Pennington’s verbal presentation will focus on many of the little-known facts surrounding the story including the ship’s mysterious disappearance, clues washed ashore in the decades following the vessel’s demise, ghost ship sightings of the phantom schooner, and mysterious omens believed to have cursed the ship immediately before it set sail on its final voyage on November 22, 1912.

Pennington’s power-point presentation will include many of the century-old photographs of Captain Schuenemann, his family, and the ship.  In addition, the author will have several artifacts along with her to share with the audience:  an axe used to chop trees down, dishes, a spittoon, a clay pipe, an ornament carved from one of the first Christmas trees raised from the sunken ship in 1971 when the vessel was discovered, and an actual Christmas tree from the cargo.  Underwater photos of the ship in its present state, with trees still visible in the cargo area, will be on display as well.

“Author Rochelle Pennington has written two books detailing one of the most well-known shipwrecks of the Great Lakes, Lake Michigan‘s Christmas Tree Ship, which delivered holiday evergreens to the citizens of Chicago each Chirstmas season before it was caught in the “Great Storm of 1912″ and subsequently went to the bottom of the lake fully loaded with trees.”

She will be with us at 2:00 pm on June 24, 2012 at the Museum to do a presentation.  Pennington will also be signing books.  Copies of both Rochelle’s books, The Christmas Tree Ship: The Story of Captain Santa and The Historic Christmas Tree Ship: A True Story of Faith, Hope and Love are available in our Museum store.

Get more here: Christmas Tree Ship Presentation | Door County Maritime Museum.

E-cards for your Easter inbox

Media_httpfarm8static_soxmd

Media_httpfarm8static_hadhf

Funny Easter Ecard: Happy Easter from one lapsed Catholic to another.

E-cards for your Easter inbox – Holy Kaw!

Go to the source if you’d like more! Or, go directly to someecards.com to send your own…

Letting go of fear

fear

Melody Beattie shares this from the Language of Letting Go

Fear is at the core of codependency. It can motivate us to control situations or neglect ourselves.

Many of us have been afraid for so long that we don’t label our feelings fear. We’re used to feeling upset and anxious. It feels normal.

Peace and serenity may be uncomfortable.

At one time, fear may have been appropriate and useful. We may have relied on fear to protect ourselves, much the way soldiers in a war rely on fear to help them survive. But now, in recovery, we’re living life differently.

It’s time to thank our old fears for helping us survive, then wave good-bye to them. Welcome peace, trust, acceptance, and safety. We don’t need that much fear anymore. We can listen to our healthy fears, and let go of the rest.

We can create a feeling of safety for ourselves, now. We are safe, now. We’ve made a commitment to take care of ourselves. We can trust and love ourselves.

God, help me let go of my need to be afraid. Replace it with a need to be at peace. Help me listen to my healthy fears and relinquish the rest.

Source: March 28: Letting Go of Fear | Language of Letting Go

Fear sucks! Take care that you don’t get caught up in it…

Feeling good

Sometimes, we don’t get what we want. . . But ...

More thoughts on independence and personal responsibility from Melody Beattie

Make yourself feel good.

It’s our job to first make ourselves feel better and then make ourselves feel good. Recovery is not only about stopping painful feelings; it is about creating a good life for ourselves.

We don’t have to deny ourselves activities that help us feel good. Going to meetings, basking in the sun, exercising, tak­ing a walk, or spending time with a friend are activities that may help us feel good. We each have our list. If we don’t, we’re now free to explore, experiment, and develop that list.

When we find a behavior or activity that produces a good feeling, put it on the list. Then, do it frequently.

Let’s stop denying ourselves good feelings and start doing things that make us feel good.

Today, I will do one activity or behavior that I know will create a good feeling for me. If I’m uncertain about what I like, I will experiment with one behavior today.

Source: March 27: Feeling Good | Language of Letting Go

Sometimes, when I feel angry or inadequate I either go for a brisk walk or I do something that I’m really good at. In a perfect world, I shut out distractions and do both. It’s a tonic for the soul…

Control

Cover of "The Language of Letting Go (Haz...

Melody Beattie shares…

Many of us have been trying to keep the whole world in orbit with sheer and forceful application of mental energy.

What happens if we let go, if we stop trying to keep the world orbiting and just let it whirl? It’ll keep right on whirling. It’ll stay right on track with no help from us. And we’ll be free and relaxed enough to enjoy our place on it.

Control is an illusion, especially the kind of control we’ve been trying to exert. In fact, controlling gives other people, events, and diseases, such as alcoholism, control over us. Whatever we try to control does have control over us and our life.

I have given this control to many things and people in my life. I have never gotten the results I wanted from controll­ing or trying to control people. What I received for my ef­forts is an unmanageable life, whether that unmanageability was inside me or in external events.

In recovery, we make a trade-off. We trade a life that we have tried to control, and we receive in return something better — a life that is manageable.

Today, I will exchange a controlled life for one that is manageable.

Source: March 26: Control | Language of Letting Go

Taking care of Ourselves

Places of Self-Care

More Melody Beattie for those who can benefit from it…

We often refer to recovery from codependency and adult child issues as “self-care.” Self-care is not, as some may think, a spin-off of the “me generation.” It isn’t self-indulgence. It isn’t selfishness — in the negative interpretation of that word.

We’re learning to take care of ourselves, instead of obses­sively focusing on another person. We’re learning self-responsibility, instead of feeling excessively responsible for others. Self-care also means tending to our true responsi­bilities to others; we do this better when we’re not feeling overly responsible.

Self-care sometimes means, “me first,” but usually, “me too.” It means we are responsible for ourselves and can choose to no longer be victims.

Self-care means learning to love the person we’re respon­sible for taking care of — ourselves. We do not do this to hibernate in a cocoon of isolation and self-indulgence; we do it so we can better love others, and learn to let them love us.

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s self-esteem.

Today, God, help me love myself. Help me let go of feeling exces­sively responsible for those around me. Show me what I need to do to take care of myself and be appropriately responsible to others.

Source: March 8: Taking care of Ourselves | Language of Letting Go

Take care of your self today!

My New Year’s Ritual

Cocktail by candle light 1: "With some of...

Christine Hassler has some thoughts on a healthy New Year’s ritual I want to share with you…

Every year at this time I share my New Year ritual.  This is an incredibly powerful process that I have done the past seven years and shared with my readers and clients.  Over the years, I have heard of numerous miracles and success stories from people who have engaged in this process.  In fact just yesterday, I received the following email from Isa Adney who completed her very first book: “Christine, I made the resolution to write this book and make all of this happen after reading your UPdate about your new years tradition. The way you do new years was the way that really helped me make resolutions ACTUALLY COME TRUE! The formula you shared last year was so wonderful and I am so excited to engage in it again this week!”

This ritual does not involve making any kind of resolutions. Why? Well because resolutions are usually promises to do something “more, better, or different.” We vow to exercise more, get a better job, fall in love, or find a different way to handle our stress. But does this really do us any good? Most of us start the New Year with the greatest of intentions, yet by March (or even by the second week in January) we may not find ourselves so resolved. We revert back to old patterns and often begin beating ourselves up for not sticking to our resolutions. Could there be a way to ring in 2012 that serves us better?  YES!  We can resolve not to make any resolutions and instead engage in a co-creative process of reflection and intention setting.

This New Year’s ritual that I’m sharing with you will support you in letting go of the past and clarifying your focus for the future. I invite you to follow this process and amend it any way that inspires you…

Source: My New Year’s Ritual | Christine Hassler

Go to the source if you want more…

Merry

A pile of Lego blocks, of assorted colours and...

This post by John Gruber of Daring Fireball is so good for where I’m at right now it took my breath away…

Late last night, inspecting Santa’s handiwork, a simple thought occurred to me. A decade or so from now, when, say, I’m waiting for my son to come home from college for his winter break, and, when he does, he wants to spend his time going out with his friends — how much will I be willing to pay then to be able to go back in time, for one day, to now, when he’s eight years old, he wants to go to movies and play games and build Lego kits with me, and he believes in magic?

How much then, for one day with what my family has right now? How much? Everything.

The truth is, I’m the luckiest person in the world today. I hope you are too.

Source: Daring Fireball: Merry

As the father of 6 boys that range in age from 24-7 this made me pause and think about both ends of the spectrum having experienced them both now. How about you?

Why This Is A GREAT Time Of Year To Kick The B/S To The Curb!

Britney Spears

As we step into the New Year, let’s step into it with a clean slate. That is to say, the stories we’ve been telling ourselves about why we can’t have what we truly want – let’s kick those to the curb.

Let’s take a moment, pause, think and feel our way towards our greatest good and the greatest good for all. What if it were true that your biggest fear was actually total BS? What if it were true that the things that you think are your greatest weaknesses are actually what makes you strong? What if it were true that from this moment forward life would never have to be the same again?

What if it were as simple as simply changing your mind about what you want and what you know you deserve? What if we made it our intention to Love ourselves as much as we Love the thing we Love most in life? And then, what if we went about sharing that Love with others and found that where we thought we would die, be destroyed or that life would come to an end – we actually came to life?

My friend, I’m here to remind you – what was, is GONE and what will be is up to YOU! We get the privilege to decide our way in and out of circumstances! No dark night of the soul lasts forever; but what can last forever is if you get stuck in the story of being in the dark night.

So let us take a moment and think about what would bring us so much joy to create in 2012. Not just for ourselves, but also for others. How can we add value and Love to other people’s lives? What are our gifts? Are we expressing them? Or are we letting them lay dormant? Are we truly walking our Faith and our beliefs or are we letting fear get the best of us? Let’s look over who is in our lives and why? Is there anyone in our life who is there with a hook? Are all of our relationships clean? Are we entering into each relationship with integrity, truth and with the intention to serve? Or are we emotional vampires? Or do we have emotional vampires in our lives that we are allowing to drain our energy?

This is the time to make that change. Sure, we can make the change at any time, but with the symbolic power of the New Year and the collective focus on being brand new, the power of this time of year is huge.

So what changes would you like to make in 2012? And – is there anyone in your life you would like to let go of? And is there anyone in your life that you would like to spend more time with? Are you making the best of life or are you letting fear get the best of you? And what new decision would you like to make now?

Source: Why This Is A GREAT Time Of Year To Kick The B/S To The Curb!

How To Live NAMASTE

the sexy santa assistants were there to take a...
Image via Wikipedia

Sandra Olic shares this…

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays and Namaste!

Some of you may not know what the word Namaste means or just know it as the salutation yogi’s use to greet each other and when saying goodbye, and perhaps you are wondering what it has to do with the holidays. The meaning of the word Namaste encompasses the spirit of the holiday season, no matter what religion we may or may not practice- The divine, spirit or light in me recognizes the same in you; we are one. The gesture for Namaste is two hands placed together at the heart as we bow the head to the heart, to Love.

The holidays are a time of year when we are collectively vibrating at a higher level because at the heart of all of the presents, holiday parties and festivities lies life’s greatest healer- Love! It truly is a wonderful time of year. Peace, kindness, joy, generosity, appreciation and togetherness are overflowing…

Could you imagine if the spirit of this magical season lasted all year? I’m convinced we would all be much happier and healthier (minus the holiday eating and drinking of course).

Make it a point to connect with people you love regularly, even if you are busy. Life will always be busy but Love isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity and time is one thing that is so easily wasted yet impossible to get back.

Show your appreciation of the people in your world all year. Tell them, write it in a card, make them a meal or give them a small token of appreciation. Sometimes people don’t know how special they are to you until you let them know. Why wait all year to do so?

Spread the holiday cheer all year. The holidays are a time when most people’s level of friendliness goes up a notch and maybe they smile and chat more than usual. Keep smiling!

Source: How To Live NAMASTE

Sounds good to me!

Getting through the holidays…

Christmas lights on Aleksanterinkatu.

These thoughts from Melody Beattie are helpful to me…

For some, the sights, signs, and smells of the holidays bring joy and a warm feeling. But, while others are joyously diving into the season, some of us are dipping into conflict, guilt, and a sense of loss. We read articles on how to enjoy the holidays, we read about the Christmas blues, but many of us still can’t figure out how to get through the holiday season. We may not know what a joyous holiday would look and feel like. Many of us are torn between what we want to do on the holiday, and what we feel we have to do. We may feel guilty because we don’t want to be with our families. We may feel a sense of loss because we don’t have the kind of family to be with that we want. Many of us, year after year, walk into the same dining room on the same holiday, expecting this year to be different. Then we leave, year after year, feeling let down, disappointed, and confused by it all. Many of us have old, painful memories triggered by the holidays. Many of us feel a great deal of relief when the holiday is ended. One of the greatest gifts of recovery is learning that we are not alone. There are probably as many of us in conflict during the holidays as there are those who feel at peace. We’re learning, through trial and error, how to take care of ourselves a little better each holiday season. Our first recovery task during the holidays is to accept ourselves, our situation, and our feelings about our situation. We accept our guilt, anger, and sense of loss. It’s all okay. There is no right or perfect way to handle the holidays. Our strength can be found in doing the best we can, one year at a time. This holiday season, I will give myself permission to take care of myself.

Beattie, Melody (2009-12-15). The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series) (p. 370). Hazelden. Kindle Edition.

This is me — “Many of us, year after year, walk into the same dining room on the same holiday, expecting this year to be different. Then we leave, year after year, feeling let down, disappointed, and confused by it all. Many of us have old, painful memories triggered by the holidays. Many of us feel a great deal of relief when the holiday is ended.” — This year, I have healthy boundaries around the holidays and I’m not walking into that dining room and I feel relief already…

Holiday triggers

A Christmas tree inside a home.

One year, when I was a child, my father got drunk and violent at Christmas. I had just unwrapped a present, a bottle of hand lotion, when he exploded in an alcoholic rage. Our Christmas was disrupted. It was terrible. It was frightening for the whole family. Now, thirty-five years later, whenever I smell hand lotion, I immediately feel all the feelings I did that Christmas: the fear, the disappointment, the heartache, the helplessness, and an instinctive desire to control. —Anonymous

There are many positive triggers that remind us of Christmas: snow, decorations, “Silent Night,” “Jingle Bells,” wrapped packages, a nativity scene, stockings hung on a fireplace. These “triggers” can evoke in us the warm, nostalgic feelings of the Christmas celebration. There are other kinds of triggers, though, that may be less apparent and evoke different feelings and memories. Our mind is like a powerful computer. It links sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste with feelings, thoughts, and memories. It links our senses—and we remember. Sometimes the smallest, most innocuous incident can trigger memories. Not all our memories are pleasant, especially if we grew up in an alcoholic, dysfunctional setting. We may not understand why we suddenly feel afraid, depressed, anxious. We may not understand what has triggered our codependent coping behaviors—the low self-worth, the need to control, the need to neglect ourselves. When that happens, we need to understand that some innocuous event may be triggering memories recorded deep within us. If something, even something we don’t understand, triggers painful memories, we can pull ourselves back into theby self-care: acknowledging our feelings, detaching, working the Steps, and affirming ourselves. We can take action to feel good. We can help ourselves feel better each Christmas. No matter what the past held, we can put it in perspective, and create a more pleasant holiday today. Today, I will gently work through my memories of this holiday season. I will accept my feelings, even if I consider them different than what others are feeling this holiday. God, help me let go, heal from, and release the painful memories surrounding the holidays. Help me finish my business from the past, so I can create the holiday of my choice.

Beattie, Melody (2009-12-15). The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series) (p. 369). Hazelden. Kindle Edition.

Crazy Love

My wife and I are celebrating 23 years of ‘Crazy Love’ today. This version of the song is oddly appropriate because on one level, we have as much in common as Ray Charles and Van Morrison. Still, we make beautiful music together…

Lyrics…

I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles
And the heavens open every time she smiles
And when I come to her that’s where I belong
Yet I’m running to her like a river’s song

Chorus:
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love

She’s got a fine sense of humor when I’m feeling low down
And when I come to her when the sun goes down
Take away my trouble, take away my grief
Take away my heartache, in the night like a thief

Chorus:
Yes I need her in the daytime
Yes I need her in the night
Yes I want to throw my arms around her
Kiss her hug her kiss her hug her tight

And when I’m returning from so far away
She gives me some sweet lovin’ brighten up my day
Yes it makes me righteous, yes it makes me feel whole
Yes it makes me mellow down in to my soul

I thank God for 23 unbelievable years…

Start a Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑