Full story at: Do You Make These Parenting Mistakes?.
It’s believing strongly what you want won’t happen. Stop it and swap it for real deal faith. Karen Salmansohn via Fear is dyslexic faith..
Leo Babauta shares this today…
There is no such thing as stress-free parenting.
A reader requested that I share my thoughts on stress-free parenting, as the father of six kids. And while I have learned a lot about being a dad, and finding joy in parenthood, I also know that stress-free parenting is a myth.
Parents will always have stress: we not only have to deal with tantrums and scraped knees and refusing to eat anything you cook, but we worry about potential accidents, whether we are ruining our kids, whether our children will find happiness as adults and be able to provide for themselves and find love.
That said, I’ve learned that we can find peace.
Peace isn’t a place with no stress, but a place where you take the stress as it comes, in stride, and don’t let it rule you. You let it flow through you, and then smile, and breathe, and give your child a hug.
There is a Way of the Peaceful Parent, but it isn’t one that I’ve learned completely. I’ll share what I’ve learned so far, with the caveat that I don’t always follow the Way, that I still make mistakes daily, that I still have a lot to learn, that I don’t claim to have all the answers as a parent.
Go to the source if you’d like to hear his way…
- Peaceful Parenting ≠ Shooting A Laptop (peacegrooves.wordpress.com)
An open and honest continuing dialogue with our children is crucial for parental success. When walls are created and information stunted, we are not able to forecast trouble looming on the horizon. Lack of proper communication also stymies solid bonding between parent and child. Many family tragedies could be avoided simply by talking. Here are some thoughts to help bring the joyous sounds of constant family chatter to your home…
Follow the ‘via’ link to get the 10 tips…
Sibling rivalry has been described as a shoot-out between Siamese twins. When your children are in conflict, it’s not fun to watch them take out their hurts and anger on one another. As Barbara and I watched our six children struggle through hundreds of squabbles, conflicts, disputes, and divisions, we would wonder, Are we being successful as parents? Is there something we’re doing wrong? Are we raising a group of juvenile delinquents?
The truth is that conflict is common to all interpersonal relationships, and every parent knows that it’s especially true between siblings. Children are going to struggle with one another, compete with one another, irritate one another, and have conflict. As parents we came to the conclusion that if we are going to have to endure these conflicts, we would turn them into training opportunities. As a result we repeatedly taught our children to honor one another, to begin to speak well of one another, and to resolve disputes as they occur.
In the process, Barbara and I learned a few lessons that we’d like to share with you. If you are like we were in this phase of parenting, you can use every shred of help you can get!
Right now, this issue is driving me absolutely nuts in our family! I’m over the top tired with the way our boys treat one another and I’m grateful this post appeared when it did. If you want help in this area, follow the ‘via’ link to get all 10 tips. Thanks for sharing, Mark!
1. Includes his wife in envisioning the future.
2. Accepts spiritual responsibility for his family.
3. Is willing to say “I’m sorry” and “Forgive me” to his family.
4. Discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed.
5. Seeks consultation from his wife on all major financing decisions.
6. Follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.
7. Anticipates the different stages his children will pass through.
8. Anticipates the different stages his marriage will pass through.
9. Frequently tells his wife what he likes about her.
10. Provides financially for his family’s basic living expenses.
11. Deals with distraction so he can talk with his wife and family.
12. Prays with his wife on a regular basis.
13. Initiates meaningful family traditions.
14. Initiates fun family outings for the family on a regular basis.
15. Takes the time to give his children practical instruction about life.
16. Manages the schedule of the home and anticipates pressure points.
17. Keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt.
18. Makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will.
19. Lets his wife and children into the interior of his life.
20. Honors his wife in public.
21. Explains sex to each child in a way that gives them a wholesome perspective.
22. Encourages his wife to grow as an individual.
23. Takes the lead in establishing sound family values.
24. Provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests.
25. Is involved in a small group of men dedicated to spiritual growth.
Hmmm. I’m doing OK, but would like to do better. How about you?
“When we think of parenthood, we idealistically dream of wonderful moments and strong happy families. Sometimes life has other plans and challenges for us. Parents can struggle to connect with their own children. Step-parents can be resented and rejected by the children of their new spouse. In all such cases, an unhealthy living situation can evolve. Direct and patient steps must be taken to create a loving and functioning family that will thrive. Here are some ideas to help with this difficult task…” via allprodad.com. Follow the ‘via’ link if you’d like to read the list…
Your parents owe you nothing.
They have already given you everything…
When you stop making them responsible for what you feel today, you access your power to really live.
Your parents OWE you nothing today. They gave you the most amazing gift of birth and life. They don’t OWE you respect, apologies, or money. When you can own this you free yourself and are no longer dependent on them for your happiness. Instead of living at the mercy of your past and simply being a reaction to your parents’ actions, you cut the umbilical cord and become free to create a life you choose.
Each moment you hold onto resentment, anger, blame, about the past, you are killing your present. What happened is done and nothing you do, or say now will change what happened. It is done.
Often we refuse to let go, and hold onto the anger at our parents because we feel dignified in doing so. They didn’t give us what we wanted. They weren’t there for us in the way we needed. They abused us, beat us, abandoned us, manipulated us, molested us, or were mean to us.
Yes, you are right. They were not right or justified in what they did.
However: “Do you want to be right or free?”
“Is being right making you happy? Is holding onto being right changing them?”
Each moment you hold onto the resentment, you keep yourself stuck in a prison of victimhood. You are not responsible for what happened to you as a child. It happened. You were young back then.
But now, today, you are responsible for what you choose to do.