To Fight Loneliness, Find a Sense of Purpose

Author Talia Ogliore-Wustl writes:

“Loneliness is known to be one of the biggest psychological predictors for health problems, cognitive decline, and early mortality,” says Patrick Hill, associate professor of psychological and brain sciences at Washington University in St. Louis. “Studies show that it can be as harmful for health as smoking or having a poor diet.”

“There’s more to fighting loneliness than simply being around others. “We’ve all had time in our lives when we’ve felt lonely even though we weren’t actually alone.” There’s something about having a sense of purpose that seems to fight loneliness regardless of how many other people are involved, he says.”

“There are no downsides to finding something meaningful later in life.” Source: To Fight Loneliness, Find a Sense of Purpose

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Morning Walk. With Chat GBT.

I am both amazed and horrified at the same time by the power of AI. I use it on a basic level every day for simple, benign tasks but I fear what unscrupulous people will do with it. Read on for a brilliant example of AI at use by my friend David Kanigan…

Live & Learn's avatarLive & Learn

I asked Chat GBT this question after my morning walk this morning: “Write a story in David Kanigan’s voice on his morning walks.”  Here’s what A.I. produced:

David Kanigan, a man of unwavering routine and gentle presence, embarked on his morning walks like clockwork. Every day, before the sun even rose, he ventured out into the world with a sense of purpose that only the dawn could bring.

His footsteps were a rhythm, a cadence that connected him to the world around him. As he strolled through the quiet streets, he noticed the subtle changes that only the early morning bestowed upon the world – the dew-kissed grass, the soft whispers of the wind, and the occasional song of a waking bird.

Each step was deliberate, as if he were savoring every moment of the new day. With every breath, he inhaled the crisp, invigorating air, feeling it infuse him…

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Staying fit as you age isn’t just about exercise; experts say to prioritize these 4 habits

A fitness regimen should incorporate mental and emotional fitness as well. Source: Staying fit as you age isn’t just about exercise. Experts say to prioritize these 4 habits

As a postscript I will share that at the beginning of the year, I asked myself the Jay Keller question ‘what’s the one thing such that by doing it everything else becomes easier or unnecessary’. The answer for me was get healthy and lose weight. At this midpoint in the year, I have done these things as a response:

  • I have lost over 50lbs going from a size 42 waist to a size 36 and from an XXL to a L in shirts
  • I have been to Planet Fitness 79 times
  • I rode my bike almost 500 miles, reaching a goal of an average speed of 17mph over 12 miles

The results? I have a new job, a new love and a new lease on life — none of these would have happened without the one thing.

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The Zen Wisdom of Kenny Rogers and ‘The Gambler’

An earlier post by Raffaello Palandri about control made me think about this; the simple wisdom in an old Kenny Rogers song:

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em

Know when to fold ’em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run…

Source: kenny rogers the gambler lyrics – Google Search

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Sunday Quote: Inner work

Karl Duffy's avatarMindfulbalance

When you try to understand everything, you will not understand anything.

The best way is to understand yourself, and then you will understand everything

Shunryu Suzuki roshi, Zen Mind, Beginniers Mind

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Cutting and Running From Relationships Comes With a Cost

What makes you leave a relationship? Is it time to adjust your bottom lines? Source: Cutting and Running From Relationships Comes With a Cost

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Grieving the Living: Losing Those Who Are Still Here

A subtle, ongoing trauma tearing at the continuity of self. Source: Grieving the Living: Losing Those Who Are Still Here

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Former president Ulysses S. Grant dies

Today in history, Ulysses S. Grant died of throat cancer brought on by his infamous cigar smoking.

“The son of a tanner, Grant showed little enthusiasm for joining his father’s business, so the elder Grant enrolled his son at West Point in 1839. Though Grant later admitted in his memoirs that he had no interest in the military apart from honing his equestrian skills, he graduated in 1843 and went on to serve first in the Mexican-American War, which he opposed on moral grounds, and then in California and Oregon, tours of duty that forced him to leave behind his beloved wife and children.

The loneliness and sheer boredom of duty in the West drove Grant to binge drinking. By 1854, Grant’s alcohol consumption so alarmed his superiors that he was asked to resign from the Army. He did, and returned to Missouri to try his hand at farming and land speculation. Although he kicked the alcohol habit, he failed miserably at both vocations and was forced to take a job as a clerk in his father’s tanning business.” Source: Former president Ulysses S. Grant dies

I’ve read this book three times. Grant is a very interesting man at a very interesting time in American history. Some have also called him the first ‘civil rights’ president because of all he did to end slavery. You can learn more here…

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Is Your Remote Job Making You Lonely?

Loneliness — the distress and discomfort we feel when we perceive a gap between the social connection we want and the quantity and quality of the relationships we currently have — can be a side effect of remote work. That lack of connection might feel slight or huge based on how we’re wired and our unique set of needs. Sadly, prevalent feelings of loneliness were on the rise even before the Covid-19 pandemic, with 61% of respondents to a 2020 study conducted by Cigna reporting feeling lonely. The author presents several steps to take if you’re grappling with loneliness. Source: Is Your Remote Job Making You Lonely?

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We have become a lonely nation

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It’s time to take stock of your social life

You don’t need to make new friends to have a fulfilling social life. Source: It’s time to take stock of your social life

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Lonely people see the world differently, according to their brains

Brain activity differs among people who feel out of touch with their peers. Source: Lonely people see the world differently, according to their brains

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The Cure to Male Loneliness

“No gender has a lock on loneliness, but men in particular seem to be struggling with the basics of making friends today. Surveys indicate that men have seen a much sharper decline than women in their close friendships over the past 30 years; a higher percentage of men than women report having no close friends at all (15 percent versus 10 percent); men receive less emotional support from friends than do women; and they are less likely than women to admit being lonely, making it tough to gauge, much less address, their suffering.” Go to the source…

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For the good

Karl Duffy's avatarMindfulbalance

Albert Einstein once said that the most important question a human being could answer is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place?’ A spiritually optimistic point of view holds that the universe is woven out of a fabric of love. Everything that is happening is ultimately for the good if we are willing to face it head-on and use our adversities for soul growth. As soon as we begin to …..open to faith in a friendly universe, the proverbial path opens before us. The people, events and teachings we need are supplied. This is the action of grace.

Joan Borysenko, Fire in the Soul: A New Spirituality of Spiritual Optimism

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For the good

Karl Duffy writes ‘Albert Einstein once said that the most important question a human being could answer is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place?’ Source: For the good

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How to Enjoy Solitude Without Feeling Lonely

Make a plan for your alone time. Source: How to Enjoy Solitude Without Feeling Lonely

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The silent epidemic: loneliness

Loneliness and being alone may appear similar but have distinct differences. Being alone refers to physical solitude, where a person is by themselves without the presence of others. It is a state of being without companionship.

On the other hand, loneliness is an emotional state that arises from a sense of isolation or dissatisfaction with one’s social connections. It is possible to feel lonely even when surrounded by others, as it is more about the quality and depth of social interactions rather than the mere absence of people.

Being alone can be a choice and may provide an individual with solitude and self-reflection. It doesn’t necessarily lead to negative feelings. In fact, it can be a source of creativity, relaxation, and personal growth.

However, loneliness is generally considered undesirable and can have negative effects on mental and physical well-being. It can lead to feelings of emptiness, sadness, and a longing for meaningful connections. Loneliness can be temporary or chronic, and it’s important to address and alleviate it by nurturing social relationships, seeking support, and engaging in activities that foster a sense of belonging.

Are you alone or lonely? Your perspective may have a lot to do with how socially isolated you are or how much agency or choice you feel you have in the matter. Author and podcaster Andrew Marshall takes on this topic here with guest Dr. Sam Carr:

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Why Does My Partner Only Hear Criticism?

Andrew Marshall writes “If you love someone and they love you, shouldn’t you be able to tell them if something they do upsets you? It is a beautiful thought and something I’m sure most people would agree on.

But how can you do it in a loving way—a way that won’t be heard as criticism? Having spent 35 years listening to couples arguing, I have also had plenty of opportunities to think about how to turn this ambition into a reality.” Source: Why Does My Partner Only Hear Criticism?

First, I’m not a mental health professional but I’m surprised to find an article that addresses this issue without mentioning confirmation bias or non-violent communication. Let’s look into those ideas in hopes it will add to the original article.

Continue reading “Why Does My Partner Only Hear Criticism?” →
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Dating at 50 and up: Older Americans’ experiences with online dating

One-in-six Americans ages 50 and older (17%) say they have ever used a dating site or app. Source: Dating at 50 and up: Older Americans’ experiences with online dating

If you’re over 50, what are your experiences with online dating?

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Why Do People Even Use Social Media?

We all have a basic drive to connect with others. Social media helps us do that. Source: Why Do People Even Use Social Media?

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Getting in Intimacy-Sync With a Partner

“A couple is out of sync when one partner wants a more intimate relationship while the other wants more time for self. When men and women are young, she is typically the partner who wants more intimacy; kissing, caressing, embracing, and cuddling may be more satisfying to her than intercourse. At midlife, she may develop a need for self-fulfillment that makes intimacy less important to her, while she also has increased sexual self-confidence and finds greater satisfaction in intercourse. Orgasm, more easily achieved, may take on a new significance in her erotic life. But now, inspired by his changing physiology, he wants more tenderness in their lovemaking, and more shared confidences in their afterplay. Intimacy has become more meaningful and important to him. Early in the relationship, she may have complained he doesn’t have enough “we” and too much “I.” Now she is reveling in her “I” time, while he is craving more “we.”” Source: Getting in Intimacy-Sync With a Partner | Psychology Today

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