Passionate love can burn out, but companionate love promises long-term warmth. Source: What Kind of Love Lasts Longest?
Reactive or Proactive? Aging Well Is All About Self-Care
Personal Perspective: Proactive means taking action before symptoms manifest. Source: Reactive or Proactive? Aging Well Is All About Self-Care
Editor’s note: This year is the year I got serious about diet and exercise again — this time the focus is entirely on being proactive for health reasons. I’ve lost 55lbs and I’m going for 100 by the end of the year. Diet, bike riding and Planet Fitness are now part of my new paradigm. The results have been amazing and if you’re in poor health of overweight, I encourage you to dig deeply into this issue. You’ll feel better!
How You Think Affects How You Feel
Psychotherapy can involve teaching people how to think differently. Source: How You Think Affects How You Feel
Are you Gaslighting Yourself?
Gaslighting, a term coined from the 1944 film “Gaslight,” refers to a manipulative tactic used by individuals to undermine the reality, perceptions, and emotions of others. It is a form of psychological abuse that can leave the victim feeling confused, doubting their own sanity, and questioning their own reality. In this blog post, we will explore what gaslighting is, how it affects individuals, and provide strategies to defend against it.
What is Gaslighting?
At its core, gaslighting is a pattern of behavior that involves psychological manipulation, causing the victim to doubt their memory, perceptions, and even their own sanity. Gaslighters employ a range of tactics such as denial, manipulation of facts, distortion of reality, and withholding information to gain control and power over their victims. Gaslighting often occurs in personal relationships, but it can also manifest in professional settings or larger social dynamics.
Read more: Are you Gaslighting Yourself?Recognizing Gaslighting Tactics
Gaslighting tactics can be subtle and gradual, making it difficult for victims to immediately recognize the manipulation. Here are some common signs of gaslighting:
- Constantly questioning your memory: Gaslighters often express doubt or disbelief about events, causing you to question your recollection of past experiences.
- Withholding information or resources: Gaslighters may deliberately withhold information or resources, making you dependent on them and undermining your sense of autonomy.
- Denying their actions or shifting blame: Gaslighters may deny their wrongdoing or shift blame onto you, making you doubt your perception of reality.
- Using your vulnerabilities against you: Gaslighters exploit your weaknesses, insecurities, or fears to manipulate and control your emotions.
- Contradicting your experiences: Gaslighters may invalidate your experiences and emotions, making you feel like your thoughts and feelings are invalid or irrational.
Impact of Gaslighting
Gaslighting can have profound emotional and psychological effects on individuals. Victims may experience:
- Doubt and confusion: Gaslighting can erode confidence and self-trust, leaving victims second-guessing their judgment and decisions.
- Anxiety and self-doubt: Gaslighting can cause feelings of constant anxiety, self-doubt, and hypervigilance as victims try to anticipate and navigate the gaslighter’s manipulative tactics.
- Isolation and dependence: Gaslighters often isolate their victims, making them increasingly dependent on the gaslighter for validation and support.
- Low self-esteem: Continuous gaslighting can lead to lowered self-esteem, as victims internalize the gaslighter’s negative narratives about themselves.
- Loss of identity: Gaslighting can cause victims to question their values, beliefs, and even their sense of reality, leading to a loss of personal identity.
Defending Against Gaslighting
Although dealing with gaslighting can be challenging, it is possible to protect yourself and regain your sense of self. Here are some strategies to defend against gaslighting:
- Educate yourself: Learn about gaslighting and its tactics, as recognizing them is the first step towards countering them.
- Trust your instincts: Believe in your intuition and feelings, and trust that your experiences are valid.
- Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a supportive and objective perspective.
- Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from further manipulation and enforce consequences if they are crossed.
- Practice self-care: Engage in activities that promote self-care, self-worth, and self-compassion. This could include journaling, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in hobbies you enjoy.
- Document incidents: Keep a record of gaslighting incidents, including dates, times, and descriptions. This can help validate your experiences and provide evidence if needed.
- Consider professional help: If the gaslighting is severe or pervasive, consider seeking professional help from a therapist specializing in trauma or abuse.
Remember, recovery from gaslighting takes time, support, and self-compassion. With dedication and self-belief, it is possible to reclaim your sense of reality and rebuild your life free from manipulation.
If you need additional support or resources, consider reaching out to helplines or organizations that specialize in abuse or mental health.
[Source: PsychCentral]
7 Signs You’re Being Manipulated
I often turn to Ashley Berges when I’m looking for insights into relationships. You might like her as well.
Learn to be indifferent
Learn to be indifferent to what makes no difference.
Marcus Aurelius
Tennessee State vs. Notre Dame
Attending a Notre Dame football game is one of the great experiences in American sports culture and I had the opportunity to attend the first home game yesterday.








Here are the stats from the game…
A Video from Pam Lefkowitz of ROAR!
New blogger and old friend Pam Lefkowitz has finally gone public. She says:
“I used to speak on tech topics but discovered that I’m not very good at taking tech principles and operations from my brain and teaching them to audiences. I can translate tech-speak to muggle-speak, however. I just can’t do it tech to tech. I suspect it’s a case of Imposter Syndrome more than anything, to be honest.

But I *am* very good at soft skills presentations. And, so, I’ve done a number of them. The most recent one was a lot of fun: Ageism in Tech, revisited. I talk about ageism, racism, and sexism in tech. I’ll post it here. I hope you enjoy it.”
If I recall correctly, Pam is the first woman to become authorized as an Apple Authorized Systems Engineer. She’s super smart and super funny. Follow her blog…
Source: A Video – ROAR!
Is Dating Your Polar Opposite a Good Thing or a Bad Thing?
All about the ‘Barbenheimer’ dating trend. Source: Is Dating Your Polar Opposite a Good Thing or a Bad Thing?
Everything Marcus Freeman Said Monday Ahead of Tennessee State
I’m a huge Notre Dame fan and I have been since I was 10. I’m inspired by stories of excellence in sports; great players like Thomas Muller of FC Bayern and great coaches like Vince Lombardi. Along those lines, I love this quote and the thoughts behind it: “It’s us versus Tennessee State today. That’s our mindset. They have meetings and practice today, and we have meetings and practice today. Who’s going to have the better meetings and practice? And if we can keep motivated to just win these moments, Saturday will take care of itself. It will. Source: Everything Marcus Freeman Said Monday Ahead of Tennessee State
Pay Attention to What You Pay Attention To
Primal world beliefs may change what you notice. Source: Pay Attention to What You Pay Attention To
How You Can Have More with Less: The Magic and Joy of Being Present
We can make every day, activity, and experience fulfilling and nourishing to our soul by simply being more present with what we’re doing. Source: How You Can Have More with Less: The Magic and Joy of Being Present – Tiny Buddha
Karl Duffy on Dying Slowly
#recommendedblog
We are invincible when we are united
Throughout the ‘war of Russian aggression’ I have been following @kiraincongress on X. This is a profound truth she is sharing. She is amazing! I recommend you follow her too…
How to Replace Anxious Thinking
You can go from worrisome “what ifs” to empowerment. Source: How to Replace Anxious Thinking
Rodrigo y Gabriela; Full Performance (Live on KEXP)
If you’ve never experienced this duet, it’s time to correct that horrible oversight!
Rumination, Worry and the Brain
Research indicates a potential biomarker for depressive rumination. Source: Rumination, Worry and the Brain
How To Cultivate Conversational Intelligence
Passing on interpersonal skills to the next generation. Source: How To Cultivate Conversational Intelligence
The Problem With How-to-Be-Happy Strategies
New research evaluates strategies touted to boost your happiness. Source: The Problem With How-to-Be-Happy Strategies
Are You “Weaponizing” Mental Health Terminology?
How “therapy-speak” could be affecting your relationship. Source: Are You “Weaponizing” Mental Health Terminology?
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