This is the paragraph that got me: “But perhaps, at the deepest level, what compels us to abandon ourselves in relationship is the fear of being judged and, ultimately, rejected. If we take our eye off the other’s experience, let down our guard, and speak from our own experience without managing the results, we risk being unwanted and unloved. We’re vulnerable to potential abandonment from the other. The threat of being rejected and unlovable then keeps us dancing the dance of our own abandonment.” Source: Being in Relationship Without Abandoning Yourself | Psychology Today