Category: Wisdom

Loving Ourselves Unconditionally

More Melody Beattie:

“Love yourself into health and a good life of your own.

Love yourself into relationships that work for you and the other person. Love yourself into peace, happiness, joy, success, and contentment.

Love yourself into all that you always wanted. We can stop treating ourselves the way others treated us, if they behaved in a less than healthy, desirable way. If we have learned to see ourselves critically, conditionally, and in a diminishing and punishing way, it’s time to stop. Other people treated us that way, but it’s even worse to treat ourselves that way now.

Loving ourselves may seem foreign, even foolish at times. People may accuse us of being selfish. We don’t have to believe them.

People who love themselves are truly able to love others and let others love them. People who love themselves and hold themselves in high esteem are those who give the most, contribute the most, and love the most.

How do we love ourselves? By forcing it at first. By faking it, if necessary. By acting as if. By working as hard at loving and liking ourselves as we have at not liking ourselves.

Explore what it means to love yourself.

Do things for yourself that reflect compassionate, nurturing, self love.

Embrace and love all of yourself – past, present, and future. Forgive yourself quickly and as often as necessary. Encourage yourself. Tell yourself good things about yourself.

If we think and believe negative ideas, get them out in the open quickly and honestly, so we can replace those beliefs with better ones.

Pat yourself on the back when necessary. Discipline yourself when necessary. Ask for help, for time; ask for what you need.

Sometimes, give yourself treats. Do not treat yourself like a pack mule, always pushing and driving harder. Learn to be good to yourself. Choose behaviors with preferable consequences – treating yourself well is one.

Learn to stop your pain, even when that means making difficult decisions. Do not unnecessarily deprive yourself. Sometimes, give yourself what you want, just because you want it.

Stop explaining and justifying yourself. When you make mistakes, let them go. We learn, we grow, and we learn some more. And through it all, we love ourselves.

We work at it, and then work at it some more. One day we’ll wake up, look in the mirror, and find that loving ourselves has become habitual. We’re now living with a person who gives and receives love, because that person loves him or herself. Self-love will take hold and become a guiding force in our life.

Today, I will work at loving myself. I will work as hard at loving myself as I have at not liking myself. Help me let go of self-hate and behaviors that reflect not liking myself. Help me replace those with behaviors that reflect self-love. Today, God, help me hold myself in high self-esteem. Help me know I’m lovable and capable of giving and receiving love.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.” via the language of letting go | Tumblr.

Warning! Video: NSFW…

3

It happens for a reason…

The Meta Picture via It happens for a reason….

1

Are You Robbing Yourself of a Joyful Life?

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Dwight Edwards

What does this quote mean? How does comparing yourself to others rob you of your own joy?

In your search to create your unique, joy-filled life, you must remember that You = The Only ONE.

You will struggle to live a pleasure-filled life if you do not tap into your core self and who you really are and instead waste precious time wondering why you don’t have the job, the looks, the money, the family, etc. etc. etc. that someone else has. Not embracing and celebrating your uniqueness causes you to conform and stuff yourself down, eventually leading to your one-of-a-kind qualities being lost or forgotten. In conforming, you lose your light, which can lead to feelings of depression and powerlessness.

The Ego, or Self, will fall into one of these categories as a way to cope with the loss of empowerment:

High Ego—power hungry; self absorbed; focus on external image; needs validation from others; blames/condemns others in order to boost self

Low Ego—no power; codependency; lost/confused; plays martyr; never feels gets what deserves; over carrying and worrying; always doubting self and putting self down

Interestingly enough, the high and low egos are two sides of the same coin. Both mask their genuine self by looking outside for the answers, are overly concerned with the image they are portraying, and are never satisfied. ” Get more here: Are You Robbing Yourself of a Joyful Life? « Positively Positive.

2

Jamie Oliver’s TED Prize wish: Teach every child about food

“Your child will live a life ten years younger than you because of the landscape of food that we’ve built around them.”

Teach every child about food. Get more here: Jamie Oliver’s TED Prize wish: Teach every child about food | Video on TED.com.

0

When We Think Other People Are Better Than Us

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt.

Justb writes:

“I have a very bad habit.

It pokes me when I stop to browse newspapers and magazines.

It slaps me when I’m watching TV.

It punches me hard at the gym.

It knocks me down when I am walking down the street.

I compare myself to other women.” Read more here: When We Think Other People Are Better Than Us | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In.

I don’t compare myself to other women, but I know the discontent that comparison brings…

1

Impatience

“The hardest thing about practicing patience is that practicing impatience feels so justified.” via May 24 | Language of Letting Go.

0

What We Really Need to Be Happy

“The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money.” ~Unknown

Standing, getting crushed on the metro at peak hour, I look around and my heart sinks. I’m surrounded by sullen faces, their eyes focused intently on games on their iPads and smart phones.

These are the sullen faces representing a world of people dreading going to work, dreading grinding away at a job they hate.

The gadgets they use as distractions during their morning commute are constant reminders of why they must put themselves through this daily hell. They feel they need these things (among others), and their job allows them to have them.

Throughout history humans have always strived to have better “things,” to have more than their neighbors or at the very least be equal to them.

First it was outdoing the neighbor who just upgraded from horse and carriage to a car. Later it was getting a black a white TV, then the cassette player, and years later a CD player.

But in today’s modern world where trends change as soon as they begin, where the next version of the latest gadget comes out seemingly straight away, people are driven to work longer hours to afford to be at the forefront of the trends—the latest gadget, the latest car, the latest fashion.

But lurking behind the lives of shiny new cars, flat screen TV’s and iPhones is a void, is a huge deficit, and it’s not a budget one.

Our world is experiencing a passion and purpose deficit.” via What We Really Need to Be Happy | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In.

0

Life is not to be endured

More wisdom from Melody Beattie:

“Life is not to be endured; life is to be enjoyed and embraced.

The belief that we must square our shoulders and get through a meager, deprived existence for far-off “rewards in Heaven” is a codependent belief.

Yes, most of us still have times when life will be stressful and challenge our endurance skills.  But, in recovery, we’re learning to live, to enjoy our lives, and handle situations as they come.

Our survival skills have served us well.  They have gotten us through difficult times-as children and adults.  Our ability to freeze feelings, deny problems, deprive ourselves, and cope with stress has helped us get where we are today.  But we’re safe now.  We’re learning to do more than survive.  We can let go of unhealthy survival behaviors.  We’re learning new, better ways to protect and care for ourselves.  We’re free to feel our feelings, identify and solve problems, and give ourselves the best.  We’re free to open up and come alive.

Today, I will let go of my unhealthy endurance and survival skills.  I will choose a new mode of living, one that allows me to be alive and enjoy the adventure.”

Source: this is a quote “Life is not to be endured; life is to be… | turtle_dove on Xanga

Related articles
0

Are You Turned On?

My yogi buddy Jackie Dumaine wrote:

“Everyone has a lightbulb inside of them.

You are the Master Controller of the switch.

Yes, you’re that powerful.

So…

What are you going to do?

My suggestion?

Turn it on.

Oh, and if the switch seems to be stuck –  try yoga.

It’s quite possibly one of the best Light Turner-On Activities I’ve ever experienced.

Namaste.

Is  your light turned on or off?

If it’s off, what can you do to turn it back on?” via Jackie Dumaine – Are You Turned On?.

0

Is Nonviolent Communication Practical?

Yellow daffodils

Have you ever heard of Nonviolent Communication? My wife and I have been using it our relationship for almost a year with a great degree of success…

“One of the most common critiques I hear of Nonviolent Communication is that it’s simply not practical. “It would be great if this can work,” the line often goes. “Too bad that in my (school, family, organization) we don’t have the luxury of taking all this time to do all this endless dialogue that it takes to get anywhere. No one would have the patience, anyway.” via Is Nonviolent Communication Practical? | Psychology Today.

Yes, Nonviolent Communication does take time but so does having arguments and recovering from them. Follow the ‘via’ link if you want to know more about Nonviolent Communication…

Related articles
0

Times of Reprogramming

“Do not ask for success unless you’re ready to conquer the behaviors that would sabotage success.” Melody Beattie via Language of Letting Go – May 22 – Times of Reprogramming – SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information.

2

Be a Master of Where You Are Now

“Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion.  With these, you can handle anything.” Jack Kornfield. Go to the source: Be a Master of Where You Are Now | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In.

0

Getting Needs Met

“I want to change careers . . .  I need a friend . . . I’m ready to be in a relationship . . .

Regularly, we become aware of new needs. We may need to change our behavior with our children. We may need a new couch, love and nurturing, a dollar, or help.

Do not be afraid to recognize a want or need. The birth of a want or need, the temporary frustration from acknowledging a need before it’s met, is the start of the cycle of receiving what we want. We follow this by letting go, then receiving that which we want and need. Identifying our needs is preparation for good things to come.

Acknowledging our needs means we are being prepared and drawn to that which will meet them. We can have faith to stand in that place in between.

Today, I will let go of my belief that my needs never get met. I will acknowledge my wants and needs, and then turn them over to my Higher Power. My Higher Power cares, sometimes about the silliest little things, if I do. My wants and needs are not an accident. God created me and all my desires.” via Daily Meditation ~ Getting Needs Met – Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group.

0

Spend time with your compass!

Nicholas Bate via Mmmm.

0

Sadness

Melody Beattie shares this:

“Ultimately, to grieve our losses means to surrender to our feelings.

So many of us have lost so much, have said so many good byes – have been through so many changes. We may want to hold back the tides of change, not because the change isn’t good, but because we have had so much change, so much loss.

Sometimes, when we are in the midst of pain and grief, we become shortsighted, like members of a tribe described in the movie Out of Africa.

“If you put them in prison,” one character said, describing this tribe, “they die.”

“Why?” asked another character.

“Because they can’t grasp the idea that they’ll be let out one day. They think it’s permanent, so they die.”

Many of us have so much grief to get through. Sometimes we begin to believe grief, or pain, is a permanent condition.

The pain will stop. Once felt and released, our feelings will bring us to a better place than where we started. Feeling our feelings, instead of denying or minimizing them, is how we heal from our past and move forward into a better future. Feeling our feelings is how we let go.

It may hurt for a moment, but peace and acceptance are on the other side. So is a new beginning.

God, help me fully embrace and finish my endings, so I may be ready for my new beginnings.” via Language of Letting Go – May 20 – Sadness – SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information.

Related articles
2

It’s that time of year…

Today, my #2 son graduates from Marian University. In honor of this auspicious occasion, here are three commencement speeches that I deem worthy of your time…

Humorous wisdom from an unexpected source:

Maria Shriver:

And, what many consider to be one of the best of all time:

Congratulations, Colin and good luck as you continue your education at PA school…

0

Why does life have to be so hard?

“Why does doing this have to be so hard?” I asked a friend one day.

“It doesn’t,” he said.

Challenge: Unquestionably, life can be tough and chal­lenging at times. It hurts. It can be scary and confusing. Many of us have had to garner great amounts of strength and courage to face difficult situations. There are times when endurance and rising to the occasion are important survival skills. It equally important to know when an easy-does-it approach is enough.” via May 18.

1

Don’t Stop Living Your Life

“So often, when a problem occurs, inside or around us, we revert to thinking that if we put our life on hold we can positively contribute to the solution. If a relationship isn’t working, if we face a difficult decision, if we’re feeling depressed, we may put our life on hold and torment ourselves with obsessive thoughts.

Abandoning our life or routines contributes to the problem and delays us from finding the solution.

Frequently, the solution comes when we let go enough to live our life, return to our routine, and stop obsessing about the problem.

Sometimes, even if we don’t feel like we have let go or can let go, we can act as if we have, and that will help bring about the letting go we desire.

You don’t have to give up your power to problems. You can take your focus off your problem and direct it to your life, trusting that doing so will bring you closer to a solution.

Today, I will go on living my life and tending to my routine. I will decide, as often as I need to, to stop obsessing about whatever is bothering me. If I don’t feel like letting go of a particular thing, I will act as if I have let go of it until my feelings match my behavior.” via Language of Letting Go – May 18 – Don’t Stop Living Your Life – SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information.

2

Does Your Story Empower You?

“Don’t allow your situation to become your world.” Bishop T.D. Jakes

“We all have a story. Sometimes it explains why we can’t do something and other times our story propels us forward. I’ve heard cases where people have the same story such as lack of money, resources, or knowledge and one person eventually starts a successful business while the other is out of work and depressed. One story with completely opposite outcomes.” Go to the source: Does Your Story Empower You? « Positively Positive.

0

The Fine Line Between Working Hard and Letting Go

Michael has some good thoughts on the topic at Michael Hyatt’s Blog via The Fine Line Between Working Hard and Letting Go.

0

Start a Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑