What Books Give Us: Hermann Hesse on Reading and the Heart of Wisdom

Books show us what it is like to be another and at the same time return us to ourselves. We read to learn how to live — how to love and how to suffer, how to grieve and how to be glad. We read to clarify ourselves and to anneal our values. We read for the assurance that others have lived through what we are living through. “You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read,” James Baldwin reflected in his most personal interview.

And yet while books may give us a foothold for the disorientation of being and an antidote to our existential loneliness, the paradox of living is that no example, no parallel, no borrowed wisdom is a substitute for life itself. The story of our own lives is only ever written on the blank page of living, our store of wisdom only ever found in the deepening truth of our own experience.

In 1918 — more than a decade before he penned his magnificent essay on the timeless magic of books and three decades before he was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature — Hermann Hesse (July 2, 1877–August 9, 1962), entering his forties, captured this paradox in a short poem of great simplicity and loveliness, found in the posthumous collection The Seasons of the Soul: The Poetic Guidance and Spiritual Wisdom of Herman Hesse (public library). Source: What Books Give Us: Hermann Hesse on Reading and the Heart of Wisdom

What Are the Moments That Matter Most in Life?

Learn how to let go and accept change. Source: What Are the Moments That Matter Most in Life?

4 Steps To The Healthiest Relationship You’ve Ever Been In

You can’t have a successful relationship until you can take ownership of your experiences!

It is our nature to have lots of thoughts, judgments, and feelings. Some that we want to identify with; others that we don’t.

It is common to confuse judgments with facts because we believe them so strongly. It is also common to confuse feelings with judgments (e.g. “I feel like you’re so wrong about that!”) and to have conflicting reactions, such as “You’re a jerk” and “I love you” at the same time. 

While our experience is involuntary and overwhelmingly strong and real for us at times, as conscious beings we can pick and choose our truth and what we say and do about it.

Ultimately, we are responsible for what we feel, think, say, and do. There are no victims in the conscious adult world

Taking ownership gives us power over our choices and destiny, and thus is the key to a successful and happy life full of rewarding relationships. Source: 4 Steps To The Healthiest Relationship You’ve Ever Been In

Finding True Belonging in the Midst of Stress

Meditation, Emotional Healing, and Spiritual Awakening from Tara Brach, PhD – Psychologist, Author, and Meditation Teacher. Source: Finding True Belonging in the Midst of Stress – Tara Brach

Continue reading “Finding True Belonging in the Midst of Stress”

How Self-Compassion Can Help Us Through the Holidays

If you’re spending the holidays with family this year, Jeremy Mohler has some advice for staying present when old wounds pop up. Source: How Self-Compassion Can Help Us Through the Holidays – Lions Roar

Taming the Critic Within

Therapeutic pathways to transform the inner critic. Source: Taming the Critic Within

The Healing Power of Storytelling

Diving deep into the unconscious. Source: The Healing Power of Storytelling

Who Wears the Pants, You or Your Reptilian Brain?

The brain plays a crucial role in influencing the decision-making process. Source: Who Wears the Pants, You or Your Reptilian Brain?

How Modern Men Can Improve Their Lives: Become the Best YOU

Learn how to become the best you – how modern men can improve their lives with specific habits, insights and strategies. Source: How Modern Men Can Improve Their Lives: Become the Best YOU

The Lifelong Journey of Personal Development

Delving into the continuous process of individual growth in your relationships. Source: The Lifelong Journey of Personal Development

Why You Might Want to Toss Out Your Trophies

If mementos of personal triumphs are starting to make you feel like a has-been, you might be better off without them. Source: Why You Might Want to Toss Out Your Trophies

btw, if you’re interested in the ‘science’ of happiness, you might want to follow Arthur C. Brooks and his column in The Atlantic for more like this!

Look for Pleasant Things or Avoid Unpleasant Things

Be aware of wanting inside your own mind. Source: Look for Pleasant Things or Avoid Unpleasant Things

Is Shaming Effective?

Shaming others, or yourself, won’t help you feel or be better. Source: Is Shaming Effective?

Are You Feeling Lonely in Your Relationship?

Is it possible to feel alone while in a relationship? Absolutely! Here are two thoughts from this article I that resonated with me:

“Insecurely attached people may confuse sexual chemistry with authentic connection, or may seek out sexual relationships in lieu of more intimate ones. For example, a more anxiously attached person may ignore or downplay the red flags of incompatibility because of the rush of sexual chemistry with someone. They may begin fantasizing the relationship “potential” instead of examining things from a more realistic perspective. Contrarily, those who are more avoidantly attached may choose casual physical relationships as more comfortable than exploring emotional intimacy with someone. Red flags that this may be happening include using one relationship to get over another, or the focus of the relationship being based on sex. However, a deeper dive often reveals feelings of emptiness and loneliness within the relationship because of a lack of intimate conversation, no emotional connection, and feelings of boredom around the person. Perhaps the biggest sign of confusing sexual chemistry with connection is that many people report feeling lonelier in the relationship than they did before it.

And…

“First, it is important to be real with yourself and your motivations surrounding romantic relationships, any unresolved attachment insecurities, and where you are in your own healing journey. Hence, it is important to address any unresolved trauma with a psychologist that may be influencing your relationship choices or patterns. Loneliness in a relationship typically stems from a lack of meaningful connection with your partner. Building connection is more than just spending your free time with that person, or being sexually compatible. It’s based on quality time, in building healthy, intimate, and deep communication, and establishing shared experiences together. It is also based on learning where your unmet emotional needs are, and in engaging in healthy conflict resolution. These all require becoming more comfortable with being vulnerable both with yourself and your partner.”

Go to the source to read the entire article if you’re interested: Are You Feeling Lonely in Your Relationship? | Psychology Today

Why You Should Hug a Cow

Interacting with farm animals can benefit your health. Source: Why You Should Hug a Cow

How could the most magical time of year be so full of loneliness, anger and stress?

Sixty-six percent of people report feeling lonely during the holidays, while 64% of people with mental illness say that the holidays make their condition worse. Source: Could the most magical time of year be so full of loneliness, anger and stress?

10 Tips On How To Stay Happily Married All Couples Should Memorize Before Saying ‘I Do’

Here’s how to make sure your marriage lasts for life. Source: 10 Tips On How To Stay Happily Married All Couples Should Memorize Before Saying ‘I Do’

4 Things Couples In The Most Healthy, Secure Relationships Do Differently

It’s all about your dynamic and bringing it to a healthy place. Source: 4 Things Couples In The Most Healthy, Secure Relationships Do Differently

What Is Fragile in Your Life?

Dr. Rick Hanson writes “Sometimes we overestimate the fragility of things, as when we don’t recognize the deep wells of inner strength in ourselves and others. But I think we are more likely to deny or downplay the true extent of fragility: it’s scary to realize how delicate and vulnerable your body is, or the threads that bind you to others—so easily frayed by a single word—or the balance of climate and ecology on our planet. It’s scary and humbling, neither of which people like, to face the underlying frailty of the body, how easy it is for a relationship to go awry, the ways that so many of us are overextended and running on fumes, the rickety underpinnings of the global financial system, the deep fissures within many nations, or the unpredictability and intensity of Mother Nature.

But if we don’t recognize fragility, we’ll miss chances to protect and nurture so many things that matter, and we’ll be needlessly surprised and upset when things do inevitably fall apart. We need to embrace fragility—to see it clearly and take it into our arms—to be grounded in truth, peaceful amidst life’s changes and endings, and resourceful in our stewardship of the things we care about.” Go to the source for more: What Is Fragile in Your Life? | Psychology Today

How to Create a Holiday Emotional Support Plan

You can create an emotional support plan to ease holiday stress and aggravation. Source: How to Create a Holiday Emotional Support Plan

 

10 Ways to Balance Life’s Losses With Its Gains

A new measure shows how life’s gains can equal or outweigh life’s losses. Source: 10 Ways to Balance Life’s Losses With Its Gains

 

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