Thinks I find along the way
“Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but many people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner (or partners). For these individuals, romantic relationships comprise one of the most meaningful aspects of life, and are a source of deep fulfillment.” An excellent selection of articles from Psychology Today: Relationships
How to cultivate nurturing relationships in midlife and beyond. Source: Finding Love After 50: Three Secrets to Success
Long-distance relationships are stigmatized as challenging. Should they be? Source: Are Long-Distance Relationships More Emotionally Intimate?
Getting into a relationship isn’t a matter of luck. It’s a matter of skill. Source: 7 Key Dating Tips if You Want a Committed Relationship
Satisfaction is strongly influenced by how well we feel our partners know us. Source: The Critical Importance of Feeling Known and Understood
I’ve joked before about writing a book called “Everything I Need to Know About Detachment I Learned from my Cat”. This author took it a step further: “here’s how losing a pet made me realize I was living my life wrong.” Source: 9 Life Lessons I Learned from The Cat I Loved (Who Left Me)
btw, don’t forget the famous Eckhart Tolle quote: “I have known many Zen Masters in my life — all of them cats”. Cats can be powerful teachers, especially if you believe like the Irish that black cats are shape shifters. Who knows what powerful teacher could be living under your roof? :-D
“Like all attachment styles, an anxious preoccupied (AP) attachment style is formed in childhood.
Also known as anxiously attached (AA), this style may come up due to inconsistent parenting, such as a parent who worked long, unpredictable hours, to the point where a child never knew if and when their parent would be there to care for them.
This creates a fear of abandonment and, in adulthood and romantic relationships, the fear of others leaving them.
An anxiously attached individual typically seeks reassurance often in a relationship (such as calling or texting multiple times) due to a parenting style that left them feeling alone or abandoned.
The result is that they have a hard time self-soothing or getting in touch with their own feelings and needs.
That’s why it’s important to understand the characteristics of an anxiously attached individual, so you know how to overcome it.” Source: How to Overcome Anxious Attachment
Concealing financial decisions from your partner can affect your mental health. Source: How Keeping Money Secrets Impacts Mental Health
Here are some surprising love lessons from C. S. Lewis. Source: Love Actually?
Emotionally and practically, having “the ones” can be a very good thing. Source: Couples Have “The One”; Singles Have “The Ones”
Changing maladaptive beliefs and behaviors for better relationships. Source: Cultivating the Ability to Relate After Relational Trauma
Exploring emotional baggage in romantic relationships when we endure trauma. Source: Relational Trauma Impacts on Dating and Marriage
My partner suggested we not celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, at least not in a traditional way and I agreed if only because our anniversary 11 days later is much more meaningful to me. Her very name means wisdom and I’m beginning to see why her suggestion made so much sense…
Amy Morin writes “There’s an ironic twist to traditional Valentine’s Day activities—they involve unhealthy relationship habits. Or, at the very least, they romanticize someone else’s unhealthy habits and give us an unrealistic idea of what true love looks like.
As I share in my book, 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do, it only takes one or two counterproductive relationship habits to weaken your bond. And while none of these traditional Valentine’s Day activities are likely to directly lead to divorce court, you might want to think twice about engaging in them this year. These Valentine’s Day activities might backfire and do more harm than good.”
She suggests not listening to ‘romantic music’ which I found interesting. Why? “Love” has remained the most popular word in song lyrics for more than five decades. But over that time, the dysfunctional lyrics have increased—especially when it comes to glamorizing unhealthy romantic behavior.
Eighty-six percent of modern songs contain lyrics that promote unhealthy and insecure romantic attachment. So think twice about that romantic song you’re tempted to turn on—there’s a good chance it normalizes jealousy, objectifies partners, and glorifies unhealthy behavior. That’s probably not the vibe you’re going for on Valentine’s Day.” Go to the source to read about the other 4 ideas: 5 Romantic Ideas That May Do More Harm Than Good
Try creating positive Illusions, expressing gratitude, and choosing forgiveness. Source: For Lifelong Love, Embrace 3 Key Pathways
The breaking points for when it’s time to bid adieu to your relationship. Source: 4 Clear Signs to Call Your Relationship Quits
Find love by learning how to look inside for your heart’s desire. Source: How to Find a Good-for-You Partner
Singlehood can be much better than being paired — especially with the wrong person. Source: 14 Benefits of Being Single
This is the paragraph that got me: “But perhaps, at the deepest level, what compels us to abandon ourselves in relationship is the fear of being judged and, ultimately, rejected. If we take our eye off the other’s experience, let down our guard, and speak from our own experience without managing the results, we risk being unwanted and unloved. We’re vulnerable to potential abandonment from the other. The threat of being rejected and unlovable then keeps us dancing the dance of our own abandonment.” Source: Being in Relationship Without Abandoning Yourself | Psychology Today
Getting the love you want by practicing mindfulness and respect. Source: 10 Ways to Keep a Relationship Going Strong
“There is a faith in loving fiercely
the one who is rightfully yours,
especially if you have
waited years and especially
if part of you never believed
you could deserve this
loved and beckoning hand
held out to you this way.”
The five love languages are vague and broad and a bygone notion. Source: R.I.P. Love Languages
Bright, shiny objects! 
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