Concealing financial decisions from your partner can affect your mental health. Source: How Keeping Money Secrets Impacts Mental Health
How Keeping Money Secrets Impacts Mental Health
Love Actually?
Here are some surprising love lessons from C. S. Lewis. Source: Love Actually?
Couples Have “The One”; Singles Have “The Ones”
Emotionally and practically, having “the ones” can be a very good thing. Source: Couples Have “The One”; Singles Have “The Ones”
Cultivating the Ability to Relate After Relational Trauma
Changing maladaptive beliefs and behaviors for better relationships. Source: Cultivating the Ability to Relate After Relational Trauma
Relational Trauma Impacts on Dating and Marriage
Exploring emotional baggage in romantic relationships when we endure trauma. Source: Relational Trauma Impacts on Dating and Marriage
5 Romantic Ideas That May Do More Harm Than Good
My partner suggested we not celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, at least not in a traditional way and I agreed if only because our anniversary 11 days later is much more meaningful to me. Her very name means wisdom and I’m beginning to see why her suggestion made so much sense…
Amy Morin writes “There’s an ironic twist to traditional Valentine’s Day activities—they involve unhealthy relationship habits. Or, at the very least, they romanticize someone else’s unhealthy habits and give us an unrealistic idea of what true love looks like.
As I share in my book, 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do, it only takes one or two counterproductive relationship habits to weaken your bond. And while none of these traditional Valentine’s Day activities are likely to directly lead to divorce court, you might want to think twice about engaging in them this year. These Valentine’s Day activities might backfire and do more harm than good.”
She suggests not listening to ‘romantic music’ which I found interesting. Why? “Love” has remained the most popular word in song lyrics for more than five decades. But over that time, the dysfunctional lyrics have increased—especially when it comes to glamorizing unhealthy romantic behavior.
Eighty-six percent of modern songs contain lyrics that promote unhealthy and insecure romantic attachment. So think twice about that romantic song you’re tempted to turn on—there’s a good chance it normalizes jealousy, objectifies partners, and glorifies unhealthy behavior. That’s probably not the vibe you’re going for on Valentine’s Day.” Go to the source to read about the other 4 ideas: 5 Romantic Ideas That May Do More Harm Than Good
For Lifelong Love, Embrace 3 Key Pathways
Try creating positive Illusions, expressing gratitude, and choosing forgiveness. Source: For Lifelong Love, Embrace 3 Key Pathways
4 Clear Signs to Call Your Relationship Quits
The breaking points for when it’s time to bid adieu to your relationship. Source: 4 Clear Signs to Call Your Relationship Quits
How to Find a Good-for-You Partner
Find love by learning how to look inside for your heart’s desire. Source: How to Find a Good-for-You Partner
14 Benefits of Being Single
Singlehood can be much better than being paired — especially with the wrong person. Source: 14 Benefits of Being Single
Being in Relationship Without Abandoning Yourself
This is the paragraph that got me: “But perhaps, at the deepest level, what compels us to abandon ourselves in relationship is the fear of being judged and, ultimately, rejected. If we take our eye off the other’s experience, let down our guard, and speak from our own experience without managing the results, we risk being unwanted and unloved. We’re vulnerable to potential abandonment from the other. The threat of being rejected and unlovable then keeps us dancing the dance of our own abandonment.” Source: Being in Relationship Without Abandoning Yourself | Psychology Today
10 Ways to Keep a Relationship Going Strong
Getting the love you want by practicing mindfulness and respect. Source: 10 Ways to Keep a Relationship Going Strong
The Truelove
“There is a faith in loving fiercely
the one who is rightfully yours,
especially if you have
waited years and especially
if part of you never believed
you could deserve this
loved and beckoning hand
held out to you this way.”
R.I.P. Love Languages
The five love languages are vague and broad and a bygone notion. Source: R.I.P. Love Languages
The Challenge of Closeness: Alain de Botton on Love, Vulnerability, and the Paradox of Avoidance
The psychological machinery of our commonest coping mechanism for the terror of hurt, rejection, and abandonment. Source: The Challenge of Closeness: Alain de Botton on Love, Vulnerability, and the Paradox of Avoidance
Continue reading “The Challenge of Closeness: Alain de Botton on Love, Vulnerability, and the Paradox of Avoidance”The Double Flame: Octavio Paz on Love
“Love is a bet, a wild one, placed on freedom. Not my own; the freedom of the Other… A knot made of two intertwined freedoms.” Source: The Double Flame: Octavio Paz on Love
Hedgehog’s Dilemma: Why You Avoid Intimacy Even Though You Crave It
The closer you get, the more it can hurt. Source: Hedgehog’s Dilemma: Why You Avoid Intimacy Even Though You Crave It
Taking the Sex and Romance Out of Valentine’s Day
It’s OK if Valentine’s Day is not all about love and sex. Source: Taking the Sex and Romance Out of Valentine’s Day
The Overlooked Importance of Attachment Style in Mate Choice
Understanding attachment’s evolutionary origins to make better dating decisions. Source: The Overlooked Importance of Attachment Style in Mate Choice
Lies (Pretty Much) Everyone Tells On Valentine’s Day
“The more we feed into the socially reinforced, overly-romantic messages about love as a promise to be together forever, only have romantic feelings for one other human, and guarantees about how you will feel, act, and think in the future, the more we perpetuate unrealistic expectations of romantic relationships.”
“A quick perusal of the cards at your local store displays the unrealistic, fantasy versions of romance perpetuated on this holiday with sentiments like:
- You’re my one and only true love, forever.
- You’re my everything.
- You always take my breath away.
- My heart is all yours, always.
- You’re my forever love.
- My heart belongs to you, now and always.
- You complete me.
Truth be told, most of us love hearing these sweet sentiments from our current flame. They make us feel special, wanted, and adored.
But should we? None of these statements actually reflects what a person can honestly promise or say.
You can’t know the future. You can’t own another person or their heart. In fact, the only guarantee we have in life is that things will change over time.” Source: Lies (Pretty Much) Everyone Tells On Valentine’s Day
Bright, shiny objects! 
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