Thinks I find along the way
Toxic “breadcrumbing,” common in today’s dating scene, can seriously harm someone’s mental state or outlook on relationships. Here’s how to spot the behavior and heal. Source: Breadcrumbing: What it means and examples in dating or relationships | CNN
“A lot of times couples think they’re fighting about someone coming home late or chores. But what they’re really fighting about is, do you see me? Do you value me? Do you need me? Can I count on you and until that gets addressed and articulated they’re unlikely to be able to resolve conflict.”
Ashley Harvey
In a talk that will leave you feeling both stirred up and optimistic, university professor and relationship educator Ashley Harvey shares five principles from attachment theory that you can use to understand and change your attachment style so that you can decrease conflict and increase connection in your romantic relationships. In a talk that will leave you feeling both stirred up and optimistic, university professor and relationship educator Ashley Harvey shares five principles from attachment theory that you can use to understand and change your attachment style so that you can decrease conflict and increase connection in your romantic relationships. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
Attachment theory, pioneered by British psychologist John Bowlby, has significantly shaped our comprehension of human bonds and relationships. This influential framework offers profound insights into the development of emotional connections, spanning across various stages of life. Let’s delve into the core concepts of attachment theory and its implications for understanding human behavior and interaction.
At the heart of attachment theory lies the idea that the quality of early relationships, particularly with primary caregivers, profoundly impacts an individual’s emotional and social development. Bowlby proposed that the nature of these initial attachments sets the stage for one’s perception of self, others, and relationships.
Continue reading “Attachment theory is the science of love”
Keep things fun; stagnancy can snuff out love and attraction. Source: How to Love (and Stay Attracted to) Your Partner Over Time
The relationship benefits of traveling and four tips to do it well. Source: Why Travel Is Good for Your Relationship Health
The Dad Bod is appealing for reasons beyond physical attractiveness. Source: Why Do Women Like Men With Dad Bods?
Readers do you think this is true?
Sex can be much better when it is talked about, explained, and demonstrated. Source: Communication Equals Better Sex
Fostering connections is an impactful way of helping when you think you can’t. Source: The Power of Creating Connections
Divorce after 50 or “gray divorce” is more common, bringing unique challenges. Source: 7 Perils of Divorce Later in Life
A woman’s life is all work and little rest. An age gap relationship can help. Source: The Case for Marrying an Older Man
Men, these three videos changed my life forever. Women, this is the link you want to send to your partner…
Most of us go into a relationship with the idea that it will last. We hope we find the right person who understands us, relates to us, and has similar goals and interests as we do. Yet despite this, many relationships eventually end. While we may romanticize the “perfect” partnership, the reality is that relationships require effort, and both partners actually want the relationship. If goals, aspirations, desires, or needs do not match, this can stress a relationship and may be a contributing factor to its failure. Source: 7 Common Reasons Romantic Relationships Fail | Psychology Today
New research highlights the amorphousness of this latest type of relationship. Source: Are You in a Situationship?
Elyane Youssef writes “the poem is called “A Great Wagon,” and the middle verse—my favorite—is below:
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other”
doesn’t make any sense.
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.”
This verse highlights three pivotal ideas: the realization of the spiritual realm, and the exploration of non-judgment and oneness.
Some people underestimate spirituality or see it as a trend, but as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said: “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
Rumi explored that truth in his poems. We don’t just live in the spiritual realm, but we are the spiritual realm. To see beyond our physical bodies and realize our true essence has been our purpose since the beginning of time. Rumi wrote about it eight centuries before the extensive spread of spirituality.”: The Rumi Poem we should all Read.
“Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but many people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner (or partners). For these individuals, romantic relationships comprise one of the most meaningful aspects of life, and are a source of deep fulfillment.” An excellent selection of articles from Psychology Today: Relationships
How to cultivate nurturing relationships in midlife and beyond. Source: Finding Love After 50: Three Secrets to Success
Long-distance relationships are stigmatized as challenging. Should they be? Source: Are Long-Distance Relationships More Emotionally Intimate?
Getting into a relationship isn’t a matter of luck. It’s a matter of skill. Source: 7 Key Dating Tips if You Want a Committed Relationship
Satisfaction is strongly influenced by how well we feel our partners know us. Source: The Critical Importance of Feeling Known and Understood
I’ve joked before about writing a book called “Everything I Need to Know About Detachment I Learned from my Cat”. This author took it a step further: “here’s how losing a pet made me realize I was living my life wrong.” Source: 9 Life Lessons I Learned from The Cat I Loved (Who Left Me)
btw, don’t forget the famous Eckhart Tolle quote: “I have known many Zen Masters in my life — all of them cats”. Cats can be powerful teachers, especially if you believe like the Irish that black cats are shape shifters. Who knows what powerful teacher could be living under your roof? :-D
“Like all attachment styles, an anxious preoccupied (AP) attachment style is formed in childhood.
Also known as anxiously attached (AA), this style may come up due to inconsistent parenting, such as a parent who worked long, unpredictable hours, to the point where a child never knew if and when their parent would be there to care for them.
This creates a fear of abandonment and, in adulthood and romantic relationships, the fear of others leaving them.
An anxiously attached individual typically seeks reassurance often in a relationship (such as calling or texting multiple times) due to a parenting style that left them feeling alone or abandoned.
The result is that they have a hard time self-soothing or getting in touch with their own feelings and needs.
That’s why it’s important to understand the characteristics of an anxiously attached individual, so you know how to overcome it.” Source: How to Overcome Anxious Attachment
Bright, shiny objects! 
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