“What does it mean to take care of myself emotionally? I recognize when I’m feeling angry, and I accept that feeling without shame or blame. I recognize when I’m feeling hurt, and I accept those feelings without attempting to punish the source of my pain. I recognize and feel fear when that emotion presents itself. I allow myself to feel happiness, joy, and love when those emotions are available. Taking care of myself means I’ve made a decision that it’s okay to feel. Taking care of my emotions means I allow myself to stay with the feeling until it’s time to release it and go on to the next one. I recognize that sometimes my feelings can help point me toward reality, but sometimes my feelings are deceptive. They are important, but I do not have to let them control me. I can feel, and think too. I talk to people about my feelings when that’s appropriate and safe. I reach out for help or guidance if I get stuck in a particular emotion. I’m open to the lessons my emotions may be trying to teach me. After I feel, accept, and release the feeling, I ask myself what it is I want or need to do to take care of myself. Taking care of myself emotionally means I value, treasure, explore, and cherish the emotional part of myself. Today, I will take care of myself emotionally. I will be open to, and accepting of, the emotional part of myself and other people. I will strive for balance by combining emotions with reason, but I will not allow intellect to push the emotional part of myself away.”
Beattie, Melody (2009-12-15). The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series) (pp. 362-363). Hazelden. Kindle Edition.
2000 or so years ago, a radical preacher and healer spoke out against the powers of his day. “They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.” (Matthew 23:4) Jesus was speaking about the Pharisees, but he could have easily been talking to business people who exploit the public, as well as the politicians who protect them. He also had some pretty harsh things to say about money and those who hoard it. (Matthew 6: 24, Matthew 19:23, Luke 12: 13 – 21, Luke 16: 19-31)
Besides tapping into the discontent of many Americans, Occupy Wall Street is doing some other things churches would do well to emulate. For instance, #OWS is very decentralized and democratic. While they have organizers, they seem willing to put everything to a vote, including what and where to protest. Listening to their members and empowering them to take up the banner in their own communities has helped the movement spread like wildfire. And when the press and celebrities show up at their rallies, they are greeted without fanfare and treated like normal people.
While it often feels like Washington only listens to people who can afford lobbyists, church leaders can be just as guilty of cozying up to the rich and powerful. “… they love the places of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplace and to have men call them ‘Rabbi.’ (Matthew 23: 5 – 7) Big denominational organizations pronounce official edicts on morality, and mega-churches put their charismatic preachers on pedestals. These top-down hierarchies can often rob the church of the untapped potential in their pews.
From the beginning, #OWS has been fiercely anti-advertising and anti-consumerism. Inspired by the protests taking place in Egypt, it was Adbusters who originally floated an email about a march on Wall Street. (Adbusters produces ads that challenge misleading corporate messages). For many of us, the notion of not selling out is appealing. After a lifetime of being told that happiness can be ours for the price of a cell phone or car, many are no longer buying the lies.
People are hungry for an alternative to the never-ending cycle of consumerism, and churches can draw a starker line between the love of God and love of the world. Christmas is the most obvious way religion has been co-opted by capitalism, but money finds many more subtle ways to creep in and corrupt the most well-intentioned plans. Jesus never seemed angrier than when he drove the moneychangers from the temple. (John 2:14 – 16) That’s a pretty strong message that God will not be bought.
Finally, Occupy Wall Street is using peaceful methods to protest the powers that be. The fact that they have been evicted from various public areas only makes them more sympathetic. And when they are willing to go to jail or endure physical hardship (such as the Marine, Scott Olson), it engenders respect. This is essentially the same method that Martin Luther King and Mohandas Gandhi used to protest — both of whom were influenced by Christ and his peaceful (except for the moneychangers) ministry.
When was the last time Christians linked arms to protest anything? Many of us have missed meaningful opportunities to let our voices be heard. While martyrdom isn’t required for most modern day believers, we are called to make sacrifices. “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Matthew 9:23) Not only is speaking out being true to your convictions, it also offers a beacon of hope to others. The world is attracted to people who are passionate enough to live out their beliefs in the open and out on the streets.
I found another great blogger this morning — Lee Horbachewski of SimpLee Serene. Here’s a recent post I liked…
No matter who you are, what you look like, what you do, where you invest your time or how you celebrate the season, you need connection.
Accepting people for who they are.
Knowing what’s going on around you.
Being present right now.
Connecting with full attention and pure intention.
It all sounds wonderful doesn’t it? So what stops our society from doing and being this?
Busy, busy, busy, go, go, go, buy, buy, buy and dare I say it judge, judge, judge…
What if the biggest gift you can give someone you love is you: your time, your love and your acceptance?
I invite you to consider for a moment what it would feel like to experience quality time with a friend. How would it feel to receive a surprise visit, a phone call, a real life connection?
I invite you to press STOP right now on the busyness of life and what should be done. Connect with YOU in this moment, now think of the special people in your life… Do you know how they are feeling? Do you know what’s going on in their life? When was the last time you spoke to them? When was the last time you saw them?
Show someone you love, that they are special.
Show someone you care, and give the gift of connection and relationship.
And as always this begins with connecting with YOU.
Leo Babauta has some interesting thoughts on his blog this morning…
One of the driving forces of my life for many years was the need to improve myself. It’s one of the driving forces for people who read my work as well.
It’s an incredibly pervasive urge: we are always trying to improve, and if we’re not, that’s something we should improve.
It’s everywhere. Where does this urge come from? It’s embedded in our culture — in the U.S. from Benjamin Franklin to the early entrepreneurial titans, everyone is trying to better themselves. It goes deeper, to ancient Western ideals of the perfect well-rounded person. But it flourished in the 20th century, from Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill to Stephen Covey. And now it’s in full bloom, with blogs. And yes, I’m part of this movement.
So what’s the problem? You could say it’s great that people are constantly trying to improve themselves, but where does it end? When is anyone ever content with who they are? We are taught that we are not good enough yet, that we must improve, and so … we always feel a little inadequate.
We all have filters through which we see life. It could be the filter of a past relationship, rules that we learned from our parents or culture growing up. We have expectations of what a relationship should be. But – remember, life isn’t how you see it; YOU ARE how you see life.
Have you ever gone outside at night and looked closely at the new moon? Or looked through a telescope at the moon when it was crescent shaped? Although what we see is a bright slice, we know there’s more. Even when the moon is full and lights the night sky, there s a dark side to the moon.
There’s a dark side to us too. We all experience jealousy, envy bitterness, resentment. How about neediness? Ugh. Who wants to shine a light on that?
What about all those fears? Fear of failure, fear of Success, fear of intimacy, fear of going broke, fear of staying broke, fear of abandonment, fear that we’re essentially unlovable, fear of the unknown, fear of growing old, fear of being alone, fear of being with someone, fear of losing control.
Then there are other parts of us that we would prefer to keep darkened and out of sight, parts such as greed, dishonesty, intolerance, disgust, hatred. Although some people have no problem showing anger, others of us prefer to keep that out of sight too. And what about our manipulative part? Who wants anyone to see that?
Some of us may even consider the dark side of ourselves forbidden. We may refuse to acknowledge it exists because we believe it’s wrong. Not acknowledging our dark side doesn’t wish it out of existence, any more than not seeing the dark side of the moon makes it disappear.
Most sane people agree that they don’t want to be controlled by their dark side. We don’t want parts of ours elves- jealousy, neediness, greed to control our behaviors. But when we don’t acknowledge these emotions and traits, they can gain control. The more we try to repress something, the more it fights for its life.
Stand back. Don’t be afraid. Shine a light on that dark part. At least look at it briefly. Acknowledge it’s there. Take some of the pressure off. Let yourself be well rounded, instead of one dimensional.
Take it a step further. Share those darker parts with others, so they can shine a light on those parts of themselves. Experience how much easier it is not to act needy, not to speak bitterly, and not to look disgusted when you acknowledge those feelings.
Value: We don ‘t just have a light side, a bright side. Nobody is always loving, always kind, always generous, always thoughtful. We should honestly acknowledge our character defects as well.
I started out to only curate a small part of Mastin’s post this morning but just couldn’t stop. Here’s the whole post in it’s entirety more or less…
Are there any habits that you have that are costing you the things in your life that you truly love? For example, do you love your family but overworking causes you to miss out on them? Do you want to fall in love, but your desire to not get hurt again holds you back? Are you pursuing a professional career because you want to get significance from one of your parents, even though what you are doing doesn’t make you come alive? Are you so focused on the future of where your relationship is going that you aren’t enjoying it in the present? Are you so focused on the potential of someone you are in a toxic relationship with that you ignore the fact that you are unhappy with it, but you cling to the idea that they could change?
What is your current set of beliefs costing you? Are there any behaviors you have that are preventing you from getting what you really want?
For example – did you start a business because you wanted more free time, yet that will never happen? Or because you think it will make you rich, and that will allow you to spend more time with the family, but you have no time for them? Do you work your butt off so you don’t have to stress about money, but no matter what happens, you stress about money? Are you in a toxic relationship because you want Love, but aren’t really getting any?
So many times we do things that are not really in our nature because there is an outcome we want that we could get with much more ease if we were to just accept our nature. There are lots of ways to get what you really want, but first you have to know who you really are! Some people have no idea who they are; others own themselves like crazy!
So, how do you find out who you really are? Well it would be a lot easier if I was working with you one on one, we could get to the core of it rather quickly. But here’s the rub… Remember back over your life to all the moments where you were really alive! What were they? What moments in your life were you totally happy, fulfilled, etc.?
Think back and look at the things in common that you had in each of these moments. These are the things you REALLY want in life. Freedom. Passion. Love. Connection. Growth. Contribution. Joy. Variety.
So, in your current life, what are you doing to GET these things that is actually the OPPOSITE of them? Are you settling to get love? Are you doing things that confine you to get freedom?
What if it were true that you could get everything you wanted now, just by changing your story about what’s possible? What if you could have all the Love you wanted right now if you gave up trying to prove your way into getting Love and just accepted that you were love-able now? How would that change your life? Are you in the rat race because you think winning it will give you something? IF so, remember that even if you win the rat race you are still a rat! )
So, how can you see that it’s possible to already get what you want, right now? Are you trying to get what matters most to you in a backwards way? Can you really get what you want now by changing your story about what you really deserve and what you have to do to get the thing you want most? Have you forgotten who you really are and lived a life to live up to someone else’s expectations?
An interesting perspective I wanted to share…
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Bright, shiny objects! 
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