There is one little habit I’ve learned that has changed everything else in my life.
The pause.
When we fail, it’s because we act on urges without thinking, without realizing it. We have the urge to eat junk, and we do it. We have the urge to check email instead of writing a chapter of our book, and so we open our inbox. We have an urge to smoke, to drink, to do drugs, to chew our nails, to play a Facebook game, to procrastinate, to skip a workout, to eat more fries, to criticize, to act in jealousy or anger, to be rude … and we act on that urge.
What if instead we learned to pause after each urge? What if we stopped, looked at that urge, paid close attention to what it feels like inside our bodies, but didn’t act?
The urge would no longer control us. We would be able to make conscious choices that might be healthier for us, help us be happier.
If we can pause, we create space. Space to breathe, to think, to be without acting.
The pause is the answer to so many of our problems. Such a small thing, and so powerful.
To develop the pause, notice your next urge. Is it an urge to go check something online? Or eat something you know isn’t healthy for you? Pay attention to the urge, learn as much as you can about it. If you act on it after the pause, that’s OK. Just notice it, and pause, and pay attention.
Do it again for the next urge, and the next. You will get good at it with practice, and you’ll have lots of opportunities to practice.
The urges won’t go away, but your ability to pause will get stronger. And when you have the pause, you have everything.
Steven Covey also talked about The Pause. He talks about it in the context of Stimulus>Pause>Response and reminds us that human beings are the only creatures in God’s universe that have the ability to pause between a stimulus and response and ask ourselves whether or not our response is consistent with our goals…
My responses can be very nasty sometimes if I don’t remember The Pause…
I wouldn’t wanna be anybody else, hey
You made me insecure, to me I wasn’t good enough
But who are you to judge
When you’re a diamond in the rough
I’m sure you got some things
You’d like to change about yourself
But when it comes to me
I wouldn’t want to be anybody else
I’m no beauty queen, I’m just beautiful me
You got every right to a beautiful life, come on
Who says, who says you’re not perfect
Who says you’re not worth it
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
Trust me that’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty
Who says you’re not beautiful, who says?
It’s such a funny thing
How nothing’s funny when it’s you
You tell ’em what you mean
But they keep whitin’ out the the truth
It’s like the work of art
That never get to see the light
Keep you beneath the stars
Won’t let you touch the sky
I’m no beauty queen, I’m just beautiful me
You got every right to a beautiful life, come on
Who says, who says you’re not perfect
Who says you’re not worth it
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
Trust me that’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty
Who says you’re not beautiful, who says?
Who says you’re not star potential
Who says you’re not presidential
Who says you can’t be in movies
Listen to me, listen to me
Who says you don’t pass the test
Who says you can’t be the best
Who said, who said?
Would you tell me who said that, yeah
Who said
Who says, who says you’re not perfect
Who says you’re not worth it
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
Trust me that’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty
Who says you’re not beautiful, who says?
Who says you’re not perfect
Who says you’re not worth it
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
Trust me that’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty
Who says you’re not beautiful, who says?
“When you feel in your gut what you are and then dynamically pursue it – don’t back down and don’t give up – then you’re going to mystify a lot of folks.”
Why is it that we cannot break the bad habits that stand in our way, crushing our desires to live a healthy life, be fit, simplify, be happier?
How is it that our best intentions are nearly always beaten? We want to be focused and productive, exercise and eat healthy foods, stop smoking and learn to get rid of debt and clutter, but we just can’t.
The answer lies in something extremely simple, but something most people aren’t aware of:
We don’t know how to cope with stress and boredom in a healthy way.
With
passion pray.
With passion make love.
With passion eat and drink and dance and play.
Why look like a dead fish
in this ocean
of
God?
– Rumi (1207-1273), translated by Daniel Ladinsky
Bright, shiny objects! 
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