Thinks I find along the way
“Be not the slave of your own past-
plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep,
and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson, was an American essayist, philosopher, poet
“If I were dying my last words would be: Have faith and pursue the unknown end.”
– Oliver Wendell Holmes, was an American physician and professor who also achieved fame as a writer.
Starting early in life we learn the power of if … then statements in a very simple and seemingly innocuous way. For example, in math class we use if … then statements to learn logic. If a = b and b = c, then a = c.
The if … then game goes on and on. We play it in every area of our life – relationships, career, healthy living, and finances.
If I am in a relationship, then I’ll be happy.
If I get a new job, then I’ll be happy.
If I lose weight, then I’ll be happy.
If I make more money, then I’ll be happy.
Society and the media influence our mind to think with a set of conditions that help us make sense and draw logical conclusions (this is helpful). But somewhere along the line, we screw up the logic and substitute our own set of conditions that do not follow and, therefore, result in irrational conclusions (this is unhelpful). It’s important to note that happiness doesn’t require any if … then conditions. The Dalai Lama believes happiness is a choice.
Often, we create a situation in our mind, such as being happy, and make it dependent on another event. But in reality, this state of well-being is not dependent on any set of conditions other than our own mindset and perspective right now. Things such as a starting a new relationship, getting promoted, making more money, losing weight do not necessarily equal happiness. Happiness is available, right here – right now – in this moment, whether you are going through a major life transition or in the greatest relationship of your life. It doesn’t depend on anyone but you. By definition, if … then statements take you out of the present moment and steer your focus to the future.
Follow the ‘via’ link above if you’d like to read the rest…
“Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves.”
– Nathaniel Branden
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
– Lewis B. Smedes, was a best-selling and renowned Christian author.
What do you think of when you hear the word, “love”? Lovers entwined in a passionate embrace? The joy and fulfillment of finding your soul mate? Or perhaps you recall the feelings you have for your children, your parents or your friends.
All of these experiences of love have one thing in common: they’re dependent on another person. Don’t get me wrong, loving relationships are great, but we all know that relationships change and basing our happiness and love on other people isn’t the wisest choice. But what if you could experience a love that didn’t depend on anything outside you?
What if you could love for no reason at all?
Follow the ‘via’ link if you’d like to read more…
Acting as if is another recovery truism that’s been around for a long time. I still use it regularly in my life.
I know people who are not in recovery athletes, performers, artists -who use the technique too.
All it means is that if it’s time to act, we do— whether taking that action feels comfortable or not. Instead of doing nothing, or waiting for confidence, success, or inspiration to overtake and motivate us first, we go ahead and move forward with an action anyway and let the good feelings catch up to us. We act as if the desired change has already taken place.
The real truth is that most people are already consuming too much energy, which is why there’s an obesity problem. (Think about it.) So adding to your energy excess by guzzling a calorie- and sugar-laden drink doesn’t make a lot of sense. In fact, ask yourself this: Is it a lack of incoming sugar that’s causing you to be tired-or is it that you’re consuming too much of it in the first place? Chances are, it’s the latter. Our advice: If you feel you need a boost, reach for unsweetened beverage that contains only caffeine-like a black coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts. It has zero grams of sugar, 146 mg of caffeine, and just 20 calories-all for about 2 dollars.
Follow the ‘via’ link to get the deets…
1. Includes his wife in envisioning the future.
2. Accepts spiritual responsibility for his family.
3. Is willing to say “I’m sorry” and “Forgive me” to his family.
4. Discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed.
5. Seeks consultation from his wife on all major financing decisions.
6. Follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.
7. Anticipates the different stages his children will pass through.
8. Anticipates the different stages his marriage will pass through.
9. Frequently tells his wife what he likes about her.
10. Provides financially for his family’s basic living expenses.
11. Deals with distraction so he can talk with his wife and family.
12. Prays with his wife on a regular basis.
13. Initiates meaningful family traditions.
14. Initiates fun family outings for the family on a regular basis.
15. Takes the time to give his children practical instruction about life.
16. Manages the schedule of the home and anticipates pressure points.
17. Keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt.
18. Makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will.
19. Lets his wife and children into the interior of his life.
20. Honors his wife in public.
21. Explains sex to each child in a way that gives them a wholesome perspective.
22. Encourages his wife to grow as an individual.
23. Takes the lead in establishing sound family values.
24. Provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests.
25. Is involved in a small group of men dedicated to spiritual growth.
Hmmm. I’m doing OK, but would like to do better. How about you?
I like this perspective from Mastin Kipp at The Daily Love…
Plain and simple, we get what we ask for.
Not just with our words, but also with our actions. In fact, our actions will show us what we are asking for far more than our words. We only take action on what we truly believe, so if we want to see what we are really asking for, let us look towards our actions.
If you say you want to lose weight, but your actions are to eat high calorie food and stay inactive, you aren’t really asking for health.
If you say you have faith but your actions are actions that are faithless, then you don’t really have faith.
If you say you love someone and your actions are unloving, then you don’t really love that person.
Let us be mindful of our actions. Continue reading “Why you’re not getting what you want…”
“Phil:3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Profound…
These thoughts from Kute Blackson inspire me…
When you are in the midst of a situation itself, it can be excruciatingly painful. But I want you to also remember that sometimes the real reason you are going through the experience often gets revealed later on and isn’t so apparent at first. We often only see our experiences through a certain perspective. We only see part of the picture. Our view point is somewhat limited.What can often seem like something terrible today could turn out to be something amazing tomorrow. However, we only see this once we have come through it.It’s then we realize that it could not have been any different. Life needed to be the way it was. The situation although challenging forced you to grow, and become more of who you really are. The challenging situation was the necessary fire to give birth to the diamond you ultimately are. The challenging situation led you in a new direction, and opened up new opportunities and meeting new people that you otherwise would not have. Often what you think something is actually isn’t and what you think isn’t, in reality, is. Don’t be so sure that you know why something is actually going on in your life at that moment. Your biggest breakdowns can be your biggest breakthroughs. They can teach you the most about what is real, who you are, and what is truly important in your life. They can cause you to let go of everything that is inauthentic and serve as a wake up call. They can end up leading you to your soulmate, or your dream career. You just never know. So when things happen that you don’t understand, develop a curiosity about it, rather than being too quick to make up a meaning that causes misery or keeps you disempowered…”
via Why Is This Happening To Me?.
Speaking of breakthroughs and inspiration, enjoy this clip[ of Sung-bong Choi — the Susan Boyle of Korea…
“Heights by great men reached and kept were not obtained by sudden flight but, while their companions slept, they were toiling upward in the night.”- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Longfellow was an American educator and poet.
A paradox is a seemingly contradictory statement that might nonetheless be true. The deepest one I’ve come across recently goes something like at a time of high unemployment and persistent joblessness, Millennials are asking for more concessions and perks from their employers. I just came across a CNN story about how new hires at marketing agency Euro RSCG told their CEO that they want to come in at 10 or later, have free food and a Pilates room, and get reimbursed for their personal trainers.
This might be an extreme example, but it’s not the only one. It seems like there’s a new meme in the air that rewards in the workplace go to those who ask the most, rather than those who give the most. I bet that The Apprentice and other people-behaving-badly reality TV shows contribute to this.
Whatever its origins, it needs to be stamped out. In every real-world workplace I’ve come in contact with, the higher-ups most valued the junior folk who could get work done, not those who could most fluently talk about themselves and their needs. And while I’ve seen plenty of divas (both old and young), the only divas who got to stick around for any length of time were the ones who also got a lot of work done, or closed a lot of deals, or kept their customers really happy. In short, they got to preen and demand a lot because of their demonstrated skills, but preening and demanding are not themselves job-related skills.
Follow the ‘via’ link if you’re interested in this topic…
Bright, shiny objects! 
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