Thinks I find along the way
“The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment, it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.”
– Orison Swett Marden, was an early 20th Century American writer associated with the New Thought Movement.
“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
– Seneca, was a 1st Century Roman Stoic philosopher.
When I was younger I lived on the east coast and I remember traveling to the ocean to watch the sunrise. Twice I saw the sun come up over the Atlantic; once from Newport, RI and once from Montauk, NY. Now, I can see the sunrise over Lake Michigan every day if I want. Looks the same as the Atlantic [but the Atlantic smells better than Lake Michigan]…
The bathroom wall at The Flying Pig in Algoma proposes a solution to the debate…
“Try to realize it’s all within yourself no one else can make you change, and to see you’re only very small and life flows on within you and without you.”
– George Harrison, Harrison was an English rock guitarist, singer-songwriter and film producer.
Many of us lived in situations where it wasn’t okay to identify, have, or talk about problems. Denial became a way of life our way of dealing with problems.
In recovery many of us still fear problems. We may spend more time reacting to a problem than we do to solving it. We miss the point; we miss the lesson; we miss the gift. Problems are a part of life. So are solutions.
A problem doesn’t mean life is negative or horrible. Having a problem doesn’t mean a person is deficient. All people have problems to work through.
In recovery, we learn to focus on solving our problems. First, we make certain the problem is our problem. If it isn’t, our problem is establishing boundaries. Then we seek the best solution. This may mean setting a goal, asking for help, gathering more information, taking an action, or letting go. Recovery does not mean immunity or exemption from problems; recovery means learning to face and solve problems, knowing they wifi appear regularly. We can trust our ability to solve problems, and know we’re not doing it alone. Having problems does not mean our Higher Power is picking on us. Some problems are part of life; others are ours to solve, and we’ll grow in necessary ways in the process.
Face and solve today’s problems. Don’t worry needlessly about tomorrow’s problems, because when they appear. we’ll have the resources necessary to solve them.
Facing and solving problems – working through problems with help from a Higher Power means we’re living and growing and reaping benefits.
Thanks! I needed that…
Written from a women’s perspective and full of wisdom…
#1 – Look in your relationship mirror
If you’re in an unhealthy relationship or with someone that is not fulfilling you, look in the mirror. What do you see in them that you yourself own? [sic] If they’re cold and distant, well maybe you share that quality in your life, or perhaps are accepting that quality because you feel you deserve it. It’s important to understand the reason why we attract people who are not satisfying us and better yet, why we stay.
#2 – Mate “Must-Haves”
Time to get out a pen and piece of paper…it’s “list” time. You’re going to make a list of all the attributes that are a “must” in a future mate. Make two columns on a piece of paper. Title the left column “must have qualities in a mate”…and then start listing them (i.e. family oriented, hardworking, funny, etc.) Once you’re done, turn to the right column and title it – “qualities in me”. Then go down the list you made for your mate and check off those traits that you yourself have. Those traits that are left unchecked, if they’re really important to you, then work on creating them in your own life (for instance, if you want a man who is sensitive, yet you hold your feelings close to your chest, work on opening up). After you’re done with this list, run it by a friend for an objective view.
#3 – Be realistic
Let’s be honest, you’re not going to be able to tell if the man you just met (whether online or in person) has all of your must-have mate qualities upfront. Give it time…after a few dates you will see if you start checking those must-have traits off the list. Also, while looking out for those traits, be open to other qualities that may be attractive to you as well. It’s also important to know that one mate will not obtain ALL your must-have traits. So pick 3-4 that are truly must-haves and leave the rest for ‘nice-to-haves’.
It’s crucial in this process of finding our life-long mate to be aware of the qualities you find attractive in someone else that you can also find them in yourself. First and foremost, you need to be that ‘person’ for yourself!
“First and foremost, you need to be that ‘person’ for yourself!” True dat…
Listen to your own heart concerning the path you wish to travel. Even if your entire life training has been in one direction, if it is not what you feel now, then begin the adventure of exploring a less-traveled road.
Your newsfeed on Facebook. That email you forgot to write. The text message from your ex. The model’s body on the cover of a magazine that you wish you had. The mountain of work stuff that won’t let you visit your parents this weekend. The shiny object over there! All of the aforementioned have something in common and they all serve the same purpose. They’re all distractions and you allow them to keep your focus away from what’s happening right in front of your eyes.
Everyday we allow excuses, complaints and stories to close the portal to the depth of intimacy in our lives. Intimacy, or lack thereof, can show up in every kind of relationship. Why do we use our decoys to keep it out of our space? Because we’re so terrified of being let down, abandoned, forgotten, overseen, discouraged or denied? Yes, we block intimacy on purpose and we’ve conditioned ourselves to do so for as long as we can remember. If you think you’re being strategic about selecting the kind of intimacy that you let in, get ready for a wake up call. If your wall is up, nothing can get through. The walls we build aren’t made out of Swiss cheese.
The other night I was out to dinner with four of my closest girlfriends. I noticed some things that night that inspired my blog today:
We all had our cell phones on the table instead of in our purses. In the middle of our catching up, one of my friends got a text message. The screen of her smartphone lit up like a beacon in the distance. It caught all of our eyes in the lowly lit setting of the swanky restaurant. She grabbed her phone and became invested in her own little world for a couple minutes while the rest of us continued to chat. The pulling away of her energy from the intimacy of the present moment began a domino effect. Another one of my friends began scrolling through her text conversations… just because.
Another friend started talking about something that her ex boyfriend wrote on his Facebook wall and she couldn’t wait another moment to show it to us. While she waited for her Facebook app on her iPhone to update, my other friend said, “Shoot! I forgot to email my investor!” So she jumped on her phone to send him a quick email. My iPhone sat innocently on the table next to my empty bread plate, but I pushed the button to see if I had missed a text while everyone became invested in their handheld lifelines.
Yep, I missed one from a handsome young man I had lunch with the day before. I began to write back and then looked up at my dinner dates. We were ALL on our phones. “We’re RIDICULOUS! Look at us right now!” I said. We all laughed about it in the moment, but later that night I wondered why that has become even somewhat normal.
We all used shiny objects to take our attention away from being fully connected with each other. To truly be connected and invested with someone can feel risky and uncomfortable. What’s the longest you’ve looked into someone’s eyes? Staring contests end when someone smiles, laughs, looks away or blinks. If this were an easy thing to do, we wouldn’t call it a contest. Looking into the windows of another being’s soul can stir up a lot of stuff on both sides of that looking glass. Since we’re all reflections of each other, connecting with someone on that level also makes us look inside of us. Not only do we block intimacy from others, we also avoid getting truly intimate with ourselves. What you see in the people before you is exactly how you’re showing up to them.
Mac has just learned to ride a bike. The other night he went for a 7 mile ride on this little thing. It’s such a blessing to share the simple joy of bike riding with him…
“You have plenty of courage, I am sure,” answered Oz. “All you need is confidence in yourself. There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid, and that kind of courage you have in plenty.”
– L. Frank Baum (The Wizard of Oz), Baum was an American author, poet, playwright, actor and independent filmmaker.
Link: http://thedailylove.com/todays-quotes-just-trust-yourself/ (sent via Shareaholic)
I borrowed this from Amanda at http://12stepsofrecovery.wordpress.com/
This was the view from our porch last night after dinner. I’m grateful that God has provided this home and this view for our family so far from the drama of living in the Chicago suburbs…
I’m so grateful that I live in a town like Algoma, WI. Oh, sure — like any small town it is full of drama. Views like this in the late summer more than compensate…
“We can’t afford to judge because as we see another, so we see ourselves.”
– Doreen Virtue, Virtue is a best-selling self-help author and holds B.A., M.A., and Ph.D. degrees in counseling psychology.
Bright, shiny objects! 
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