Crap You’re Leaving Behind In 2011 (And What To Take Into 2012)

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Good stuff from Terri Cole…

New Year’s allows us to clean the slate. To help gain clarity on what needs to go and what needs to come with you to make 2012 AMAZING, I want to share with you a New Year exercise I used to give my clients.

Create THREE separate lists:

1. CRAP YOU ARE LEAVING IN 2011
Write down experiences, feelings, people, circumstances… anything that you do not want to drag with you into 2012. Share this list with a trusted friend who will witness without judgment. Then, burn the list so the energy attached to it can be released back into The Uni-verse and out of your experience.

2. GEMS YOU ARE KEEPING FROM 2011
Write down what you learned from your experiences, good and bad, but especially from the ones on list #1. Once you honor what you learned, you won’t need to repeat the crappy situation. Even the worst situation has a gem. You just have to be willing to look through the crap to find it. Hold onto this list.

3. WHAT YOU ARE CREATING IN 2012
Write what you want to create for yourself: how you want your life to look and feel. This list should be written in the present tense and include all areas of your life: love, health, family, wealth, friends, career, fitness, spirituality, etc. Marinate, meditate and think on what you have written. Put this list where you can see it on a daily basis. When you look at this list, feel the feelings of having these things. By conjuring the feelings, you become a magnet that will draw the experiences to you.

It is a proven fact that writing down your intentions gives them a much better chance of actually coming into being. Create some time and space to creatively write your lists. Invite some friends to your manifesting party and make it fun!

We are the architects and engineers of our life experience, so commit to creating your best life in 2012!

I’m interested in what your resolutions are, what experiences you need to release, and what gems have you gleaned from various situations. I’m also here to offer any advice and be your biggest supporter in making 2012 spectacular!

Source: Crap You’re Leaving Behind In 2011 (And What To Take Into 2012)

How To Take A GIANT Step Towards Loving Yourself & Others

Carl Jung said it best, “what you resist, persists”. When we resist our emotions and make them wrong, they grow and grow and grow. When we embrace and express our emotions in healthy ways we start to see why they were there in the first place.

No amount of food, alcohol or drugs can stop your emotions from existing. Nor can any amount of food, alcohol or drugs silence the whisper of The Uni-verse that is calling you on your great adventure. And no matter WHAT other people have said, your feels and emotions are valid and when we love them, especially the dark ones, we begin to set ourselves free.

This is why getting a life coach, a mentor, a therapist, etc. is awesome. I have a therapist AND a life coach. I do this because I know I need to always be working on myself. And I don’t want to wait for a “crisis” to happen before I get help. Feeling your feelings is like taking a shower. The more you do it, the cleaner you feel. Most people think personal growth is a one-time thing. And it’s SO not. It’s WAY more than that. Is taking a shower a one-time thing?

Not if you wanna kiss someone, lol.

Creating a life that is surrounded by people who have your best interest in mind is key. Creating a life where you can express your emotions and have them Loved instead of neglected is huge. One of the biggest ways we hold ourselves back is by making ourselves wrong for how we feel. Yet, if we can see that our feelings are friends that are misunderstood, we can begin to love ourselves in ways we never knew possible. And when we begin to do that, we open ourselves to sharing and loving others in a profound and impactful way.

Source: How To Take A GIANT Step Towards Loving Yourself & Others EVEN MORE!

Be kind!

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“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

– Plato, was a Classical Greek philosopher.

Source: Today’s Quotes: There Are No Mistakes, Only Lessons!

Expectations of others

Great Expectations (1999 film)

“It is our job to identify our needs, and then determine a balanced way of getting those needs met. We ultimately expect our Higher Power and the Universe—not one particular person—to be our source. It is unreasonable to expect anyone to be able or willing to meet our every request. We are responsible for asking for what we want and need. It’s the other person’s responsibility to freely choose whether or not to respond to our request. If we try to coerce or force another to be there for us, that’s controlling. There’s a difference between asking and demanding. We want love that is freely given. It is unreasonable and unhealthy to expect one person to be the source for meeting all our needs. Ultimately, we will become angry and resentful, maybe even punishing, toward that person for not supporting us as we expected. It is reasonable to have certain and well-defined expectations of our spouse, children, and friends. If a person cannot or will not be there for us, then we need to take responsibility for ourselves in that relationship. We may need to set a boundary, alter our expectations, or change the limits of the relationship to accommodate that person’s unavailability. We do this for ourselves. It is reasonable to sprinkle our wants and needs around and to be realistic about how much we ask or expect of any particular person. We can trust ourselves to know what’s reasonable. The issue of expectations goes back to knowing that we are responsible for identifying our needs, believing they deserve to get met, and discovering an appropriate, satisfactory way to do that in our life. Today, I will strive for reasonable expectations about getting my needs met in relationships.”

Beattie, Melody (2009-12-15). The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series) (pp. 365-366). Hazelden. Kindle Edition.

The goal of life

POSTER-GROW INTO BEST YOU

The goal of life… POSTER-GROW INTO BEST YOU – notsalmon

Cherish The Waiting!

Today’s Visual Inspiration: Cherish The Waiting!

Don’t ask what the world needs

Dr. Howard Thurman
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“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

– Howard Thurman, was an influential American author, philosopher, theologian, educator and civil rights leader.

Source: Today’s Quotes: Go Through The Rite Of Passage!

Accept what was and what is and you’ll have more positive energy to pursue your will be

POSTER-WHAT WAS IS WILL BE

Accept what was and what is and you’ll have more positive energy to pursue your will be. POSTER-WHAT WAS IS WILL BE – notsalmon

Crazy Love

My wife and I are celebrating 23 years of ‘Crazy Love’ today. This version of the song is oddly appropriate because on one level, we have as much in common as Ray Charles and Van Morrison. Still, we make beautiful music together…

Lyrics…

I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles
And the heavens open every time she smiles
And when I come to her that’s where I belong
Yet I’m running to her like a river’s song

Chorus:
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love

She’s got a fine sense of humor when I’m feeling low down
And when I come to her when the sun goes down
Take away my trouble, take away my grief
Take away my heartache, in the night like a thief

Chorus:
Yes I need her in the daytime
Yes I need her in the night
Yes I want to throw my arms around her
Kiss her hug her kiss her hug her tight

And when I’m returning from so far away
She gives me some sweet lovin’ brighten up my day
Yes it makes me righteous, yes it makes me feel whole
Yes it makes me mellow down in to my soul

I thank God for 23 unbelievable years…

It’s Time To Wake UP!

Today’s Visual Inspiration: It’s Time To Wake UP!! :o)

The Power Is Powerlessness

Tommy Rosen at The Daily Love has a great reminder for me this morning…

The first step in 12-step programs reads approximately as follows:  “We admitted we were powerless over our addiction and that our lives had become unmanageable.”The wisdom expressed in this step is amazingly powerful and transformative for everybody, not just those who struggle with acute addiction.   All human beings are subject to the human condition, which includes a lot of struggle and suffering along with the joy of being alive.  Let’s take a deeper look at the messages this step provides.We are dealing here with two concepts:  powerlessness and unmanageability.  The unmanageability is a feeling that comes when everything seems overwhelming and out of control.  Most people in recovery can relate to this terrible feeling, which almost always seems to accompany acute addiction.

Admitting powerlessness is not something we love to do and yet, it is the cornerstone of a life of acceptance and humility.  To admit one’s powerlessness is to understand one’s place in the world.  For example, we are powerless over the actions of others.  We cannot control other people.  Simply understanding this can literally change the course of our life.  I struggled for many years trying to “fix” my father.  He was so sick and was making poor choices.  It hurt me so much to see his pain and to watch the results of his poor choices right in front of my eyes.  Truth be told, I became annoying to my father by trying to change him.  He needed acceptance and unconditional love, but it was very difficult for me to give these to him.  When he died, I thought to myself, “Wow, I’ve expended all this effort trying to make my dad better.  It strained our relationship and he has still died, sick and unhappy.”  That was a hard one for me to learn from in my recovery, but it has been one of the greatest lessons of my life.

How about when we admit we are powerless over an addiction as the first-step suggests.  We can understand the idea that we cannot control others.  Yet, it’s a weird thing – and very misunderstood by those who do not know chronic addiction – to not have power over one’s own actions.  People might say, “Look how he continues to hurt himself and others.  Why doesn’t he stop?”  Well, for some people they have literally lost the ability to stop.  The thought-emotion-action-reaction pattern is so ingrained in them that they cannot break out of the pattern without outside help.  Yet, the minute these people are able to admit their own powerlessness, often quite suddenly, they are able to begin a path of recovery and seek the support they need to succeed on that path.  Let’s notice that the word “we” is contained in the first step.  This reminds us of the fact that life is collaborative, that healing is collaborative and that we need each other to succeed.

There is an amazing power in admitting one’s powerlessness.  It is absolutely counter-intuitive, which is why our logical thinking can get in they way.  In recovery you will hopefully come to learn the many ways that you are powerful and you will be blessed indeed not to forget the places where you are powerless.

Source: The First Step To Heal – The Power Is Powerlessness

Tommy’s words also remind me of the immortal words of the Apostle Paul in 2 Cor. 12:10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

True happiness isn’t about the things you have.

POSTER-BLING DOG

True happiness isn’t about the things you have. It’s about the thoughts you have. POSTER-BLING DOG – notsalmon

Me??? NUTS??? Not today people, not today!

Mr. Peanut

Adrienne shares a great post over at ‘12 Steps; Think About It’ and it gives me a tool I’m going to hold on to for a long time…

When things get crazy in my house and I feel like shouting, “Stop the world I want to get off!” I have often struggled to find something that makes me stop and think.  Sure, I can say, “Stop!” or I can think “Stop!” but the world still keeps going around. What that does to me is put what is at odds with what I want as the focus in my mind.  That doesn’t work for me.   Most often the stop the world I want to get off feeling  has to do with my children.  You know, they get to that age where it doesn’t matter what all the evidence says, what the book says, what the rest of the world knows is correct, or what the teachers say, in their eyes they are RIGHT.  Or they are at that age where their answer is always “No!”.  With four children under 12 this happens quite frequently in my house.  So I do my best to try to move forward. Usually with a statement such as, “I’m going nuts!”

Yep, you guessed it.  Well now when I say that I will forever start laughing.  NUTS now means…Not Using The Steps.  Best acronym ever!  Because truly when the world gets crazy around me and I start to feel it affect me, that is what I’m doing, or not doing to be more precise.

So think about this for a minute. Think about in our lives all the opportunities we might have to use this acronym. And if you think of more please feel free to share the phrases!

Someone does or says something completely incomprehensible to us..and we think “That’s NUTS!” We find it incomprehensible because we’re “Not Using The Steps.”

Source: Me??? NUTS??? Not today people, not today! « 12 Steps – Think About It!

When you feel yourself getting NUTS, remember that just for today you can do something for 12 hours that would appall you if you felt you had to keep it up for a lifetime. Read more of the ‘just for todays’ here

Avoid Arguments with Good Timing

English: Fire Break Rule of thumb, 'avoid tree...
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Mark Merrill shares…

Soon after my wife, Susan, and I were married, we made a discovery.  It seemed like most of our arguments were at night…when we were tired and irritable from a long day.  So, we set a nine o’ clock curfew on serious discussions.  We found that it really helps.  Now, when we get into a heavy talk after nine, we remind each other that it’s late, we’re not going to resolve anything tonight and we can talk about it tomorrow.  And you know what?  The next morning we’re usually refreshed and can talk about things calmly or decide that it wasn’t that important to begin with.

So you can avoid a lot of arguments with your spouse if you wisely choose when you will have serious discussions.  A good rule of thumb is to avoid settings that are already tense—getting the kids to school in the morning, when you’re dealing with plumbing problems or right when your spouse walks in the door after work.  Instead, choose a time when you’re both rested, when you have some peace and quiet, and when the other person is open to having a serious discussion.

And here’s something else to keep in mind—don’t mix business with pleasure.  In other words, you don’t want to bring up heavy topics when you and your spouse are having a fun time or are in friendship mode.  If you’re out together for your first date night in months, or you’re finally having a little cuddle time on the couch, don’t even venture into potential areas of conflict.

Source: Avoid Arguments with Good Timing « Mark’s Blog

On Honesty

Honesty is the best policy.

Action: You are not your behaviors, You are not your emotions. Your behaviors are what you do; your emotions are what you feel. Each day, pause for a moment. Ask yourself what you’re really feeling. If you’re not sure, listen to the tone of your voice and your thoughts. Those are good clues. Many people find it helpful to write about what they‘re feeling in a journal or diary. Make sure no one has access to your journal, then have at it. Write it all out. Or tell another person what you ‘re feeling, thinking, having a hard time with. Sometimes sharing what we’re going through with one other person takes the pressure off

If you’re in a Twelve Step program, do the Fourth and Fifth Steps. If you’re having a lot of guilt or an unusually hard time with some aspects of yourself you might want either to get professional help or to talk to a clergyperson. Tell your I-higher Power who you really are. Sometimes honest awareness, acknowledgment, and acceptance are all that’s required. There may be parts of yourself that you want to change, but honest acceptance is how change begins.

Source: December 16: On Honest | Language of Letting Go

The Miracle Formula

Visual Inspiration: The Miracle Formula

When You Know Better You Do Better

A good reminder for me from Mastin Kipp

It’s amazing to me how personal growth never ends. No one ever really arrives; we just constantly go deeper and deeper and deeper, like infinite layers of an onion. My work and self-discovery is never done and neither is yours. We are growing together in this beautiful community called TheDailyLove.com – where we can all feel safe to share and love each other, knowing that there is no judgment here – only Love.

I’m beyond grateful to have this new awareness and for the ability to be able to bring a new and empowering meaning to this past event. The truth is, I didn’t know better back then. And now I do. So when you know better – you do better.

Source: Here’s Why When You Know Better You Do Better!

I apologize for the oversight…

I love Dan Piraro’s Bizarro sense of humor…

Every day every one of us has at least one thing we’re looking forward to doing

POSTER-POWER OF ONE TWEAKED

Every day every one of us has at least one thing we’re looking forward to doing, hearing, seeing, tasting, learning, loving. POSTER-POWER OF ONE TWEAKED – notsalmon

Taking care of myself emotionally

“What does it mean to take care of myself emotionally? I recognize when I’m feeling angry, and I accept that feeling without shame or blame. I recognize when I’m feeling hurt, and I accept those feelings without attempting to punish the source of my pain. I recognize and feel fear when that emotion presents itself. I allow myself to feel happiness, joy, and love when those emotions are available. Taking care of myself means I’ve made a decision that it’s okay to feel. Taking care of my emotions means I allow myself to stay with the feeling until it’s time to release it and go on to the next one. I recognize that sometimes my feelings can help point me toward reality, but sometimes my feelings are deceptive. They are important, but I do not have to let them control me. I can feel, and think too. I talk to people about my feelings when that’s appropriate and safe. I reach out for help or guidance if I get stuck in a particular emotion. I’m open to the lessons my emotions may be trying to teach me. After I feel, accept, and release the feeling, I ask myself what it is I want or need to do to take care of myself. Taking care of myself emotionally means I value, treasure, explore, and cherish the emotional part of myself. Today, I will take care of myself emotionally. I will be open to, and accepting of, the emotional part of myself and other people. I will strive for balance by combining emotions with reason, but I will not allow intellect to push the emotional part of myself away.”

Beattie, Melody (2009-12-15). The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series) (pp. 362-363). Hazelden. Kindle Edition.

What Christians Can Learn from the Occupy Movement

An interesting perspective I wanted to share…

2000 or so years ago, a radical preacher and healer spoke out against the powers of his day. “They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.” (Matthew 23:4) Jesus was speaking about the Pharisees, but he could have easily been talking to business people who exploit the public, as well as the politicians who protect them. He also had some pretty harsh things to say about money and those who hoard it.  (Matthew 6: 24, Matthew 19:23, Luke 12: 13 – 21, Luke 16: 19-31)

Besides tapping into the discontent of many Americans, Occupy Wall Street is doing some other things churches would do well to emulate. For instance, #OWS is very decentralized and democratic. While they have organizers, they seem willing to put everything to a vote, including what and where to protest. Listening to their members and empowering them to take up the banner in their own communities has helped the movement spread like wildfire. And when the press and celebrities show up at their rallies, they are greeted without fanfare and treated like normal people.

While it often feels like Washington only listens to people who can afford lobbyists, church leaders can be just as guilty of cozying up to the rich and powerful. “… they love the places of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplace and to have men call them ‘Rabbi.’ (Matthew 23: 5 – 7) Big denominational organizations pronounce official edicts on morality, and mega-churches put their charismatic preachers on pedestals.   These top-down hierarchies can often rob the church of the untapped potential in their pews.

From the beginning, #OWS has been fiercely anti-advertising and anti-consumerism. Inspired by the protests taking place in Egypt, it was Adbusters who originally floated an email about a march on Wall Street. (Adbusters produces ads that challenge misleading corporate messages). For many of us, the notion of not selling out is appealing. After a lifetime of being told that happiness can be ours for the price of a cell phone or car, many are no longer buying the lies.

People are hungry for an alternative to the never-ending cycle of consumerism, and churches can draw a starker line between the love of God and love of the world. Christmas is the most obvious way religion has been co-opted by capitalism, but money finds many more subtle ways to creep in and corrupt the most well-intentioned plans. Jesus never seemed angrier than when he drove the moneychangers from the temple. (John 2:14 – 16) That’s a pretty strong message that God will not be bought.

Finally, Occupy Wall Street is using peaceful methods to protest the powers that be. The fact that they have been evicted from various public areas only makes them more sympathetic. And when they are willing to go to jail or endure physical hardship (such as the Marine, Scott Olson), it engenders respect. This is essentially the same method that Martin Luther King and Mohandas Gandhi used to protest — both of whom were influenced by Christ and his peaceful (except for the moneychangers) ministry.

When was the last time Christians linked arms to protest anything? Many of us have missed meaningful opportunities to let our voices be heard.  While martyrdom isn’t required for most modern day believers, we are called to make sacrifices. “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”  (Matthew 9:23)  Not only is speaking out being true to your convictions, it also offers a beacon of hope to others. The world is attracted to people who are passionate enough to live out their beliefs in the open and out on the streets.

Source: What Christians Can Learn from the Occupy Movement. ~ Jeff Fulmer | elephant journal

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