A pause that refreshes…

When I leave the home needing a little detachment, I’m grateful that my commute to work is only 3.3 miles and that one of the midwest’s most beautiful lighthouses is blocks from my office…

Click image to enlarge…

Sometimes, I listen to my YouVersion bible while I walk the breakwater. Today, Proverbs 16 came up in my reading plan…

1 To humans belong the plans of the heart,

but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue.

2 All a person’s ways seem pure to them,

but motives are weighed by the LORD.

3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do,

and he will establish your plans.

via Proverbs 16 NIV – To humans belong the plans of the – Bible Gateway.

Running a business on my own is not always easy. Sometimes an open day on my calendar seems like an abyss. As one of those social media ‘gooroos’, there are never any shortage of distractions to satisfy the ‘ADD’ in me. That’s when I turn to my Higher Power and contemplate my 11th Step guidlines…

Preparing for the Day Ahead

We ask God to direct our thinking, asking especially that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.

We consider our plans for the day. We can now use our mental faculties with assurance.

If we face indecision or we can’t determine what course to take, we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy.

We pray to be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of problems.

We ask especially for freedom from self-will. [We might also pray for help with specific defects or problem areas, and review our 10th step corrective measures for the day ahead.]

Prayers to be of Use

We ask for guidance in the way of patience, kindness, tolerance and love especially within the family.

We pray as to what we can do today for the person who is still sick. [We might also pray for specific people in need, or those with whom we’re angry.]

Spiritual/Religious Exercises

If appropriate, we attend to our religious devotions, or say set prayers which emphasize 12 Step principles.

We may read from a spiritual book.

Practicing the 11th Step Throughout the Day

We pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action.

We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.” Source: 11th Step Guidelines

You don’t have to have abused a substance to benefit from a 12 Step program! Celebrate Recovery — the Christian version of the AA 12 Step program — has been helpful to me in dealing with ‘hurts, hangups and habits’ and it may benefit you, too. God bless YOU today as you move into your week…

March 19, 2012 0

Home, sweet home…

It always gives me great joy to come up our road and see our home and think about how blessed we are to live where we live, not having to deal with so many of the things our friends in big cities and their suburbs have to deal with…

Click image to enlarge…

March 19, 2012 0

Unwell

I’m not crazy. I’m just a little unwell…

March 19, 2012 0

It’s not enough to be busy…

“It’s not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: what are we busy about?” ~Henry David Thoreau

via Tiny Wisdom: Creating Time for Fun | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In.

March 19, 2012 0

Anger at Family Members?

Yes. Melody Beattie again. I read her every morning. Today’s post included this thought…

At some point, strive to be done with the anger. But we need to be gentle with ourselves if the feelings surface from time to time.

Thank God for the feelings. Feel them. Release them. Ask God to bless and care for our families. Ask God to help us take freedom and take care of ourselves.

Let the golden light of healing shine upon all we love and upon all with whom we feel anger. Let the golden light of healing shine on us.

Trust that a healing is taking place, now.

Help me accept the potent emotions I may feel toward family members. Help me be grateful for the lesson they are teaching me. I accept the golden light of healing that is now shining on me and my family. I thank God that healing does not always come in a neat, tidy package.

Source: March 19: Anger at Family Members | Language of Letting Go

Go to the source if you’d like to read her entire post…

March 19, 2012 0

So much easier

I think Jon Swanson is on to something here…

It would be so much easier to follow Jesus if he called us.

If I were at work one day and he walked by and said, “come on, follow me.”

If I were doing what I’ve spent my life preparing to do and he said, “I’ll show you how to use those skills for something meaningful.”

If I were in the middle of daily life and I looked up and could actually hear his voice with my ears and see his face with my eyes and smell whatever he smelled like.

If his invitation to do something worthwhile with my life were real and tangible.

It would be so much easier if Jesus literally said my name and said “Follow me.”

I mean, if that happened, I would never have any questions at all about what he was saying. It would always be clear.

If that happened, I would always be happy just to be close to him.

If that happened, I would be ready to tell all the people I saw at the grocery store when I was buying supplies

Hey! This food? Jesus is going to eat it. Yep. That Jesus. I know him. I’ve watched him do the most amazing stuff! I mean, paralyzed people walking. People with demons? Poof. Gone. People who are sick? Fever, gone, like that. You name it, he gets rid of it.

Hey, that cough? Come on. Let’s talk to Jesus about that. I mean, I know him. He was walking by one day and called out my name. We’re like this. In fact, we couldn’t be any closer if he lived in me. Yeah, I know. Sounds weird. But it’s like that.

If one day I really believed that Jesus actually wants me? Cared about me?

That would be so amazing.

Source: So much easier. « 300 words a day

I must not believe or I wouldn’t act this way. I wouldn’t struggle like I do. What do you think?

March 19, 2012 0

Perfect

March 18, 2012 0

Parting thought…

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.” – Erma Bombeck

March 18, 2012 0

Sorry. Guess I’m not ready to quit on SPD yet…

March 18, 2012 0

You are a…

You are a… – Lead.Learn.Live.

March 18, 2012 0

Letting Go of the Need to Control

Another great post from Melody Beattie – this time on the topic of detachment…

The rewards from detachment are great: serenity; a deep sense of peace; the ability to give and receive love in self-enhancing, energizing ways; and the freedom to find real solutions to our problems.

— Codependent No More

Letting go of our need to control can set us and others free. It can set our Higher Power free to send the best to us.

If we weren’t trying to control someone or something, what would we be doing differently?

What would we do that we’re not letting ourselves do now? Where would we go? What would we say?

What decisions would we make?

What would we ask for? What boundaries would be set? When would we say no or yes?

If we weren’t trying to control whether a person liked us or his or her reaction to us, what would we do differently? If we weren’t trying to control the course of a relationship, what would we do differently? if we weren’t trying to control another person’s behavior, how would we think, feel, speak, and behave differently than we do now?

What haven’t we been letting ourselves do while hoping that self-denial would influence a particular situation or person? Are there some things we’ve been doing that we’d stop?

How would we treat ourselves differently?

Would we let ourselves enjoy life more and feel better right now? Would we stop feeling so bad? Would we treat ourselves better?

If we weren’t trying to control, what would we do differently? Make a list, then do it.

Today, I will ask myself what I would be doing differently if I weren’t trying to control. When I hear the answer, I will do it. God, help me let go of my need to control. Help me set myself and others free.

Source: March 18: Letting Go of the Need to Control | Language of Letting Go

Detachment is the most difficult of all recovery topics for me. I’m trying to understand the difference between trying to control and having health or reasonable expectations. Maybe there is no such thing as an expectation can have of my wife or children; not if I want to be happy or at peace anyway…

The times I have a glimpse of what detachment looks like are those times when I’m playing with my black cat Boo. I don’t expect Boo to bark like a dog or come when called. She meows and sometimes when it suits her mood she comes when called but I don’t expect her to be something that is not in her nature.

Someday I’ll write a book called ‘Everything I need to know about detachment I learned from my cat’ but I still have much to learn from her…

March 18, 2012 3

More Irish films for St. Patrick’s Day

If you want to go into the ‘Troubles’, here are some other films about recent Irish history you might enjoy…

March 17, 2012 0

Free trip to Ireland!!! :-D

Google Earth Tour of Irish Heritage Sites

March 17, 2012 0

A short history of St. Patrick

March 17, 2012 0

The "Confessio" of St. Patrick and lessons for today

In my humble opinion, the story of St. Patrick is a story of a lost opportunity for the modern church. It begins like this…

1 I, Patrick, a sinner, a most simple countryman, the least of all the faithful and most contemptible to many, had for father the deacon Calpurnius, son of the late Potitus, a priest, of the settlement [vicus] of Bannavem Taburniae; he had a small villa nearby where I was taken captive. I was at that time about sixteen years of age. I did not, indeed, know the true God; and I was taken into captivity in Ireland with many thousands of people, according to our desserts, for quite drawn away from God, we did not keep his precepts, nor were we obedient to our priests who used to remind us of our salvation. And the Lord brought down on us the fury of his being and scattered us among many nations, even to the ends of the earth, where I, in my smallness, am now to be found among foreigners.
Continue reading “The "Confessio" of St. Patrick and lessons for today” →

March 17, 2012 1

Want Joy? Don’t Depend On What Happens!

Bryan Reeves, an infrequent contributor at The Daily Love has this to share…

Mind-blowing sex, sweet butterfly-stomach romance, big nights out, the beauty of that woman/man you covet and can’t seem to have, your own beauty, parenthood, careers, volcanoes, flowers, our bodies, broken hearts, caffeine highs, arguments with your partner, nations, species, beliefs, spiritual experiences, youth, marriage … absolutely everything has its moment of full wondrous expression before it inevitably fades back into the silence from which it arose. Every minute we spend in desperation trying to hold onto (or get rid of) that which just cannot last anyway, is a minute spent overlooking the peace and juicy wonderment available in this exact moment, regardless of what’s happening.

“Joy is that kind of happiness that does not depend on what happens.” ~ David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine Monk into Buddhism.

I have spent so much of my life either running towards something or running away from it. I have a fascinating capacity for expecting experiences, circumstances, things, people, etc. to make me happy forever or to ruin my life (and everything in between), thus living painfully outside the awareness that absolutely everything has its moment of bloom and will inevitably, simply, fade away.

The evidence for this completely surrounds all of us. Our entire life experience is witness to this phenomenon of perpetual coming and going, expanding and contracting, inhaling and exhaling. It is a source of our greatest sorrows. It also holds the key to our greatest capacity for true joy.

Source: Want Joy? Don’t Depend On What Happens!

Go to the source if you’d like the rest of his perspective…

March 17, 2012 0

Empowering

Here’s a lesson from Melody Beattie I found so good I had to share it right away…

You can think. You can feel. You can solve your problems. You can take care of yourself. Those words have often benefited me more than the most profound and elaborate advice. How easy it is to fall into the trap of doubting ourselves and others. When someone tells us about a problem, what is our reaction? Do we believe we need to solve it for the person? Do we believe that that person’s future rests on our ability to advise him or her? That’s standing on shaky ground—not the stuff of which recovery is made. When someone is struggling through a feeling, or a morass of feelings, what is our reaction? That the person will never survive that experience? That it’s not okay for someone to feel? That he or she will never get through this intact? When a person is faced with the task of assuming responsibility for their life and behaviors, what is our response? That the person can’t do that? I must do it myself to save him or her from dissipating into ashes? From crumbling? From failing? What is our reaction to ourselves when we encounter a problem, a feeling, or when we face the prospect of assuming responsibility for ourselves? Do we believe in ourselves and others? Do we give power to people—including ourselves—and their abilities? Or do we give the power to the problem, the feeling, or the irresponsibility? We can learn to check ourselves out. We can learn to think, and consider our response, before we respond. “I’m sorry you’re having that problem. I know you can figure out a solution. Sounds like you’ve got some feelings going on. I know you’ll work through them and come out on the other side.” Each of us is responsible for ourselves. That does not mean we don’t care. It does not mean a cold, calculated withdrawal of our support from others. It means we learn to love and support people in ways that work. It means we learn to love and support ourselves in ways that work. It means that we connect with friends who love and support us in ways that work. To believe in people, to believe in each person’s inherent ability to think, feel, solve problems, and take care of themselves is a great gift we can give and receive from others. Today, I will strive to give and receive support that is pure and empowering. I will work at believing in myself and others—and our mutual abilities to be competent at dealing with feelings, solving problems, and taking responsibility for ourselves.

Beattie, Melody (2009-12-15). The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series) (pp. 73-74). Hazelden. Kindle Edition.

Me? I still struggle with thinking I can change other people or that I’m entitled to ask them to change and expect that they will. When they don’t ‘comply’, frequently I give away too much of my power. I need to accept responsibility for my own condition and get off the Crazy Train…

Owning our Power (toddlohenry.com)
God’s will (toddlohenry.com)
What is ‘healthy giving’? (toddlohenry.com)

March 17, 2012 1

St. Patrick’s “Breastplate” Prayer

Christ be with me, Christ within me,

Christ behind me, Christ before me,

Christ beside me, Christ to win me,

Christ to comfort and restore me.

Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,

Christ in hearts of all that love me,

Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.