“What you do have control over is how you react to what happens in your life.” ~Oprah
Full story at: Go Ahead and Care—It Won’t Break You | Tiny Buddha.
You’re going to hurt someone
Hannah B. writes:
You’re going to hurt other people.
Even though you don’t want to.
Even though you don’t mean to.
To no fault of your own.
You’re going to hurt someone.
We’re all bumping up against each other with our cravings and sensibilities,
reaching clumsily for fulfillment.
We bond and then unbind.
We stretch our arms to grab more life,
and we give someone a black eye.
Egos get hurt; vows are broken; fires doused.
Becoming whole leaves breakage.
Why does it help to know the inevitability of hurting someone?
It helps to know of this inevitability
so that you don’t retreat when you need to lift off,
so that you choose to leave the house of familiarity
for Morocco, or Broadway, or love.
Or the center of your Soul.
It helps to know how nature works when you are exploring wilderness.”via You’re going to hurt someone..
Recovery
Melody Beattie offers a simple explanation of codependency, acceptance, faith and recovery:
How easy it is to blame our problems on others. “Look at what he’s doing.” . . . “Look how long I’ve waited.” . . . “Why doesn’t she call?” . . . “If only he’d change then I’d be happy.” . . .
Often, our accusations are justified. We probably are feeling hurt and frustrated. In those moments, we may begin to believe that the solution to our pain and frustration is getting the other person to do what we want, or having the outcome we desire. But these self-defeating illusions put the power and control of our life in other people’s hands. We call this codependency.
The solution to our pain and frustration, however valid is to acknowledge our own feelings. We feel the anger, the grief; then we let go of the feelings and find peace – within ourselves. We know our happiness isn’t controlled by another person, even though we may have convinced ourselves it is. We call this acceptance.
Then we decide that although we’d like our situation to be different, maybe our life is happening this way for a reason. Maybe there is a higher purpose and plan in play, one that’s better than we could have orchestrated. We call this faith.
Then we decide what we need to do, what is within our power to do to take care of ourselves. That’s called recovery.
It’s easy to point our finger at another, but it’s more rewarding to gently point it at ourselves.
Today, I will live with my pain and frustration by dealing with my own feelings.” via Just For Today Meditations – Maintaining A Life.
If you struggle with codependency, I have three resources to recommend. One is to follow this blog via WordPress or Google Reader — I am continually sharing the good thoughts I find on defeating codependency. The two books that follow have been the most valuable resources I have found in my fight…
You can click the images to go to the book’s page on Amazon.com…
Turn your wounds into wisdom…
Source: simplereminders.com via Todd on Pinterest
40 Ways to Create Peace of Mind
“Set peace of mind as your highest goal, and organize your life around it.” ~Brian Tracy
Full story at: 40 Ways to Create Peace of Mind | Tiny Buddha.
Learn to Forgive Yourself Even When You’ve Hurt Someone Else
Think back to the last time somebody apologized to you about something. Did you forgive them? There is a very good chance that you did.
Now think back to the last time you harmed someone else. Have you forgiven yourself? Probably not.
We all make mistakes. Oftentimes, through our actions, somebody gets hurt.” Full story at: Learn to Forgive Yourself Even When You’ve Hurt Someone Else | Tiny Buddha.
Make Up Your Mind to Go with the Flow
Kathy Kruger writes:
Long before health experts were telling us, “You are what you eat,” even before Buddha spoke his wisdom, “What we think we become,” ancient Chinese sage Lao Tzu mused that we only need to change our way of thinking for our lives to fall into place.
Sounds so easy, right? Easier, at least, than always eating our greens, let alone somehow imagining ourselves into the NASA space program, or up on stage on Broadway!” Full story at: Make Up Your Mind to Go with the Flow | Tiny Buddha.
Payoffs from Destructive Relationships
Melody Beattie writes:
Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress.
The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role.
Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our self-esteem by allowing us to feel in control or morally superior to the other person.
Some of us feel alleviated from financial or other kinds of responsibility by staying in a particular relationship.
“My father sexually abused me when I was a child,” said one woman. “I went on to spend the next twenty years blackmailing him emotionally and financially on this. I could get money from him whenever I wanted, and I never had to take financial responsibility for myself.”
Realizing that we may have gotten a codependent payoff from a relationship is not a cause for shame. It means we are searching out the blocks in ourselves that may be stopping our growth.
We can take responsibility for the part we may have played in keeping ourselves victimized. When we are willing to look honestly and fearlessly at the payoff and let it go, we will find the healing we’ve been seeking. We’ll also be ready to receive the positive, healthy payoffs available in relationships, the payoffs we really want and need.
Today, I will be open to looking at the payoffs I may have received from staying in unhealthy relationships, or from keeping destructive systems operating. I will become ready to let go of my need to stay in unhealthy systems; I am ready to face myself.” via Just For Today Meditations – Maintaining A Life.
And, there are ALWAYS payoffs. They just might not be so obvious…
Bright, shiny objects! 
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