You’ll Make It When You Fake It

Smile 2
Psychology Today reports:

In a newly released study subjects were given stressful tasks while holding chopsticks in their mouths to form a smile, and another group was asked to maintain a smile while performing the stress task.  None of the subjects were not told the true objective of the study and when compared with a control group performing the same stressful activities, both smiling groups had lower heart rates and faster cardiovascular stress recovery than the non-smiling controls.

As Ekman had predicted, when we hold a facial expression reflecting a particular emotion, even when the expression of happiness is faked, we experience some of that faked emotion.   ‘Fake it till you make it’ takes more meaning in light of this and other research along these lines.

These findings suggest that there is a pathway connecting facial muscle activity to our ‘fight/flight’ response and that we can change our physiological and psychological states  by deliberately controlling our facial expressions.  So perhaps the quote by Mark Twain is true, “The world always looks brighter behind a smile.”

The next time you are feeling stressed, have a difficult task, or just wake up on the grumpy side of the bed, smile for a while and see how your mood can change for the better.” via You’ll Make It When You Fake It | Psychology Today.

I first heard about this reading Tony Robbin’s book ‘Awaken the Giant Within’ and yesterday I tried it and it actually worked for me!

I got sucked into being a timer for a swim meet with over 500 kids and 88 different events and multiple heats. First of all, I don’t even like competitive swimming — that’s my wife’s thing and my son was having his first meet. My wife had volunteered for a 4 hour shift and not only did a volunteer not come to relieve her but I became a backup timer and then a timer when other people left their shift. It was hot, wet and hard on the joints standing on a pool deck for 9 hours. I remembered what I had heard from Tony Robbins earlier in the week and put it into practice. Every time I started

Iceberg!

An iceberg’s seismic breakup, believed to be the largest ever caught on camera, is described by the person who filmed it as the equivalent of watching “Manhattan… breaking apart in front of your eyes.”

Filmmaker Jason Balog recorded the spectacular calving event while making his documentary “Chasing Ice” about global climate change. He had set up his camera on Greenland’s Ilulissat Glacier, which has retreated approximately 10 miles in the last 12 years.

Balog figures almost 2 cubic miles worth of the Ilulissat broke up over the course of 75 minutes.

“Pieces of ice were shooting up out of the ocean 600 feet and then falling,” he says in the film, which contains bass-thumping audio that makes it almost as impressive to listen to as watch.

“The only way you can really put it into scale with human reference is if you imagine Manhattan, and all of a sudden all of those buildings just start to rumble and quake and peel off and just fall over and fall over and roll around.”

via higher powered: Iceberg!.

 

God grant me the serenity…

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

Serenity Prayer

via “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I… | Simple Reminders.

How To Create Your Brand And Find Your Voice!

Oct 2011 Cover Of Social Media Woman Magazine

Marie Forleo writes:

We all want to use our voice to express ourselves in a way that feels original and feels like us.

But how exactly do you find your voice?

What are the secrets to unleashing your own uniqueness when it comes to writing, creating and serving?

Finding your voice, or giving yourself permission to use it, can be challenging unless you have some concrete steps to follow.

Watch this now and and learn four simple, yet effective steps to unleashing your own voice and brand.

via How To Create Your Brand And Find Your Voice!.

Furry

AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

via Furry.

#874 The Five Second Rule

Parents are very familiar with The Five Second Rule:

The Five Second Rule simply states that any food dropped on the floor is perfectly fine to eat as long as you pick it up in less than five seconds.

The rule has many variations, including The Three Second Rule, The Seven Second Rule, and the extremely handy and versatile The However Long It Took Me To Pick This Food Up Rule. But whatever version you use, there’s just no denying why it’s great:

Makes you look less disgusting. Because now when you eat that wet grape that rolled into the corner by the heating vent and collected some cat hair and a few old, dry toast crumbs, you’re not disgusting. No, you’re just a law abiding Kitchen Citizen. Big difference.

Saves time and money. Wait, wait, wait, don’t pull the peanut butter and jelly out again and make a whole new sandwich. No, we’ll just blow the floor spice off this one and maybe tear off the wet, soggy piece of crust that landed in juice puddle. It’s all good.

It’s scientifically proven. Well, actually it’s scientifically proven that if a floor is covered in salmonella or E. Coli, your food will be covered in salmonella or E. Coli, even if they touch for a split second. But, and here’s the kicker, the same study showed no significant evidence of contamination on public flooring in general. Good save, Science.

So people, I give you a friend and savior in these tough times: The Five Second Rule. Know it. Love it.

via #874 The Five Second Rule | 1000 Awesome Things.

Not so fast! Before you buy into the advice from 1000 Awesome Things, watch this:

Direct Your Emotional Memory to Feel Good Now

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” ~Henry Ford

Full story at:  Direct Your Emotional Memory to Feel Good Now | Tiny Buddha.

Moving on from a Mistake: 5 Tips to Relieve Your Pain

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” ~Elbert Hubbard

Get more here: Moving on from a Mistake: 5 Tips to Relieve Your Pain | Tiny Buddha.

5 Ways to Validate Yourself: Be Part of Your Support System

“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise L. Hay

My favorite? Before seeking external validation, ask yourself, “What do I hope that person tells me?” Then tell it to yourself.

Get more here: 5 Ways to Validate Yourself: Be Part of Your Support System | Tiny Buddha.

Beethoven

Sunday Morning in Sabadell – Lead.Learn.Live..

Apparently, it’s not known when Beethoven was born — only when he was baptized.

A peer of Mozart and Haydn, he started becoming deaf at age 28, yet incredibly wrote some of the world’s most beautiful symphonies, concertos and sonatas.

This was Ludwig van Beethoven, baptized DECEMBER 17, 1770, in Bonn, Germany.

President Jimmy Carter noted while visiting Bonn, July 14, 1978:

“As the world’s people speak and work and live together, we all could well remember the poem of Friedrich Schiller, immortally put to music by the great Beethoven, a son of Bonn, the “Ode to Joy”:

“Alle Menschen werden Bruder Wo dein sanfter Flitgel weilt.” (“All mankind shall be brothers where thy gentle wings abide.”)

Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy” is also used as the tune of Princeton professor Henry Van Dyke’s hymn “Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee.”

In 1801, Beethoven, being deaf, wrote:

“No friend have I. I must live by myself alone; but I know well that God is nearer to me than others in my art, so I will walk fearlessly with Him.”

Some People Belong In Your Heart

Live Life Quotes, Love Life Quotes, Live Life Happy

via Some People Belong In Your Heart.

The greatest gift is a treasure of virtues spent

“The greatest gift is a treasure of virtues spent… | Simple Reminders.

American Minute for December 16th; The Boston Tea Party

boston-tea-party-3
Bill Federer writes:

The British passed taxes on the American colonies, stifling the economy:

1764 Sugar Act-taxing sugar, coffee, wine;

1765 Stamp Act-taxing newspapers, contracts, letters, playing cards and all printed materials; and the

1767 Townshend Acts-taxing glass, paints, paper.

Beginning in 1768, British troops quartered in American homes.

When citizens gathered in protest, March 5, 1770, British troops fired into crowd, killing five, in what was called “the Boston Massacre.”

Just three years later, in 1773, the British passed yet another tax, the “Tea Act.”

While American merchants paid taxes, British allowed the East India Tea Company to sell a half million pounds of tea in the Colonies with no taxes, giving them a monopoly by underselling American merchants.

The citizens of Boston had enough, and on DECEMBER 16, 1773, led by Samuel Adams, a band of patriots called Sons of Liberty, disguised themselves as Mohawk Indians, left the South Meeting House toward Griffin’s Wharf, boarded the ships Dartmouth, Eleanor and Beaver, and threw 342 chests of tea into the harbor.

This was called the Boston Tea Party.

The men of Marlborough, Massachusetts, declared:

“Death is more eligible than slavery. A free-born people are not required by the religion of Jesus Christ to submit to tyranny, but may make use of such power as God has given them to recover and support their liberties…

We implore the Ruler above the skies that He would bare His arm…and let Israel go.”

via American Minute for December 16th.

You And Your Imposter Complex Are Not Alone!

I first heard about the ‘imposter complex’ from my thoroughly lovely friend and client @jackiedumaine. Tanya Geisler lays it out here:

For a TEDxWomen talk on Dec. 1st, I’ve decided to talk about – and take down – the Impostor Complex. You know, that beast that wants to shut you down, reminding you of allll the ways you are not ready, capable, qualified, prepared and competent.

Yeah. THAT.

Which is perfect, of course, because my own Impostor Complex has a TON to say about why I’m not ready, capable, qualified, prepared and competent enough to deliver this talk. So my material, at the very least, is pretty fresh.

Just recently, I was thrilled to attend Mastin’s Super Soul Sunday event in Toronto. Mastin was generously answering every last question his hungry audience had for him. I asked him how he felt when the call came about going on Oprah with Marie and Gabby. His response:

“I couldn’t believe it. I thought it was a mistake. I didn’t think it would actually happen. I assumed it would be canceled.”

Familiar? You are not alone.

Any time we think that something has happened because of luck, or timing, or because someone made a mistake, we are in the hold of our Impostor Complex.

Is there ANY DOUBT in your mind that Mastin was supposed to be on that show? Is there ANY DOUBT in your mind that he earned it?

No? Me neither.

From the 1000+ hours I’ve been coaching clients, I can tell you with great certainty that almost every single high-achiever has at one point or another felt the weight of the Impostor syndrome, and it sounds like:

“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’” – Maya Angelou

“You think, ‘Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie? And I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?’” – Meryl Streep

And guess what else?

The Impostor and The Authority are are both Illusions

John Lennon said, “Part of me suspects that I’m a loser, and the other part of me thinks I’m God Almighty.”

Can you see the illusions at both ends of that statement? Loser is an illusion. God Almighty is an illusion. The Impostor is an illusion. The Authority is an illusion.

You are never either. You know more than you think AND you will never know it all.

It’s the very nature of the ego: it wants to want more than it wants to get.

Can you feel the relief and the grief in that?

And while I may not be THE authority, my experience as the Impostor Complex – both mine and those of my brilliant clients – certainly makes me AN authority.

So, as you face your desires for stage, for mastery in the boardroom, for the book deal, for the TV show, for the new business or for the promotion, I want you to know this:

  • You are not alone.
  • Those belittling voices are not real or right.
  • You’ve earned your right to be here.
  • You’ve got this.
  • You are ready.

Agreed?

When I’m on stage delivering my TEDx talk, I intend to own it. There has been no mistake made: I’ve earned my right to be there. Speaking truth imbued with experience and love, in spite of what my Impostor Complex wants me to believe. It is, after all, a mere illusion.

Your call’s coming too. Answer it with an effusive YES.

Source: You And Your Impostor Complex Are Not Alone!

I was describing to Jackie my own desire to do a TEDTalk and the trouble I was having writing my book ‘Be Known’; mainly, that people would laugh. Understanding that this feeling is so common that it has a ‘syndrome’ attached to it helped me get beyond my fears. In my experience, if you can name it you can kill it, fix it, fight it, whatever you want to do with it. Watch out for the ‘imposter complex’ in your life!

Related articles

Two Of The Hardest Tests In Life

Live Life Quotes, Love Life Quotes, Live Life Happy

via Two Of The Hardest Tests In Life.

How to start a fight; how to stop one

recite-30067--1545286160-8i7sxu

Are things like this funny because we’ve all been stupid enough to say them [or something like them] at some point in time or another?

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at

home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have

to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for

me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at

the Social Security office. She said, ‘You should have dropped

your pants. You might have gotten disability too.’

And then the fight started…

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

“I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you

to pay me a compliment.’

I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

And then the fight started……..

via higher powered: How to start a fight (part 3).

Groan!!!

I had a great day yesterday despite serving as a timer for 9 hours at a swim meet with over 500 kids. Why? I remembered a few things I had read in the past few weeks:

In the midst of this...
In the midst of this…

...I felt like this.
…I felt like this.

Lindsey Ramage taught me I can stop fights before they start by asking:

“Before you speak, ask yourself: is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence?” – Sai Baba

via 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Say Anything « What I see, what I feel, what I’d like to see….

Shelly Bullard reminded me that I am at the heart of my most dissatisfying relationships and of something that Charles Alcorn told me over 30 years ago: “don’t look without for that which you should find within”…

Brian Johnson taught me that I can get in touch with my purpose in 5 seconds by asking myself “is this the highest version of my Self I can be at this moment?”

Finally, Tony Robbins taught me that I can change my state by changing my physiology; I smiled all day long and I was happy. Any time I found myself feeling tired, bored, pissed that there weren’t more volunteers I smiled and changed my state.

Sound overly simplistic? I thought so too but last night when I asked my wife if I needed to offer her an amends for anything I had done that day she couldn’t come up with a single thing and that makes all the difference in the world…

New Story

If you don’t like the story you have been telling yourself, tell yourself a NEW one!

Visual Inspiration: New Story.

How to Create A Breakthrough in Any Area of Your Life: Manage Your Strategies, Your Story and Your State

Tony Robbins writes here about STRATEGIES, STORY AND STATE and how they work together:

Question: One of the toughest things about chasing the dream is managing the disciplines of persistent action and hopeful patience that are required to ultimately see the vision come to be. This is an area of huge tension. How do dream chasers manage that tension and thrive?

Fulfilling your dreams and your ability to thrive in the areas of your life that matter most can be simplified by breakthroughs—a moment in time when the impossible becomes possible. If anyone wants to thrive in any area of their life, they have to reach a point of breakthrough where they will not settle for anything less than extraordinary in that area. Whether someone wants a breakthrough in their:

  • business
  • intimate life
  • emotional well-being
  • health
  • finances
  • career

There are only three areas to break through in order to feel lasting success.

One breakthrough area is your STRATEGIES. I personally live for finding strategies—those shortcuts that help people get more done in less time. What is it that gets some people to succeed while others fail who seem to have equal enthusiasm or passion for the tasks at hand? They have insights, distinctions, and strategies that allow them to achieve more quickly. For example, take someone who was born very poor, without an education, and had emotional and financial challenges but found a way to be highly successful and living an inspired life. I don’t believe that’s lucky—luck is what you do for a day or a week—strategies are what make it consistently happen for decades. A strategy can be found in the simplest or slightest distinction and it can happen in an instant.

As I described above, there are three elements that effect the long-term success or failure of a person and whether they break through or not. For example, there are hundreds or even thousands of strategies out there for losing weight, and frankly most of them are proven to work—if you work them! We’re not hurting for strategies. There are fitness clubs on every street, dieticians, health coaches, training videos, audios, books, etc. Yet 65% of the United States is overweight and 33% is obese, and those numbers are only growing geometrically. I would suggest to you that the problem for most people is not that they don’t have a strategy—it’s that they’re not using a strategy that works for them or acting upon it. Why? Because they have a disempowering STORY.

We all have stories—narratives we tell ourselves about why we can or cannot do or achieve something in our lives. Whether we believe we can or can’t, we’re usually right, because our expectation controls our focus, perceptions, and the way in which we feel and act. When a person succeeds it’s because they have the right strategy, and they found it usually because they have a story that it was possible or they could make it happen. Often people are not losing weight because they have a simple story that says, “I’m big boned.” With that as your core belief system you are never going to find a strategy, and even if you do you won’t follow through on it.

Your story may be true—you may have been through a horrific experience–but that’s not the reason why you can’t have the life you want. For example, you might have had a bad breakup five years ago, but that’s not the reason you haven’t found the passionate and loving relationship you deserve. A disempowering story is one of the things that controls people and makes them stuck in their beliefs.

Most people tell a story in a selective way so they don’t have to ever maximize their effort towards a strategy because they’re afraid they will fail. In order to get out of a story you have to be triggered by hunger and desire—if someone wants something strong enough they will breakthrough the story that’s limiting them.

Of course, whether you have an empowering story or disempowering one is influenced most powerfully by the mental and emotional STATE you’re in at this moment in time. As human beings we all develop emotional patterns—moods—that are mental or emotional states that tend to filter how we look at our lives.

This influences the stories that we make up about who we are, what we’re capable of, or what’s achievable or not. The states we go into most often then become the most powerful filter of all that will determine whether we find the strategies necessary to succeed and whether we come up with a story that will empower us. The big question then becomes, what is it that we can do to change our state of mind when we’re not able to maximize our true potential? One of our greatest scientific discoveries has been that you can change your emotional mood by a radical change in your “physiology.”

For people who are experiencing stress at any given moment, a form of relief can be to simply change your physiology—take a couple of deep breaths. Most people only use 20% of their lung capacity taking small short breaths, but 70% of the body’s toxins can actually be released when taking a full breath! By taking the time to fill your lungs and release you can not only improve your health but also radically decrease the anxiety related to that moment. There are many ways to change your physiology and in our seminars we prove this time after time by taking people who feel depressed and having them make a radical shift. Intuitively we know this can be changed not only by the way we move, but our breath and body temperature as well.

The second thing that affects our state is what we focus on. For example, if you’ve been at a funeral honoring someone you cared about and everyone is in a sad state and afterwards someone shares a story or anecdote about something that person did that was extremely humorous, suddenly everyone goes from tears to laughter. In an instant our states can be changed by what we focus on. What’s wrong is always available—but so is what’s right. Whatever we focus on effects our state and our state then effects the story we have about who we are, what’s life about, what’s possible and what’s not. From that story we will often determine whether or not we will maximize our capabilities and the strategies that will help us achieve what we’re truly after in a sustainable way.

Learning to put yourself in a peak state consistently is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and your life. It can transform your stories and give you the strategies to breakthrough. This is a huge focus that we just don’t tell people but what we train people to do with their minds and bodies in an instant, on cue, so they can shift the quality of their performance. Whether it’s a peak performance athlete like Serena Williams, MMA champion Jon Jones, a president of a company, a parent, or someone in prison—if we’re going to shift our life it comes down to these three fundamentals.

Change your strategy, change your result.

Change your story, change your life.

Change your state—you change it all!

Source: How to Create A Breakthrough in Any Area of Your Life: Manage Your Strategies, Your Story and Your State

Fight back with kindness!

Our world needs what only you got so come on and give it all you got

@notsalmon

via Our world needs what only you got so come on and give it all you got.

Still Processing after 24 hours of a Horrible Event

Chris JarrellMy pastor Chris Jarrell wrote this yesterday:

Yesterday, a horrible act of evil occurred.  Myself along with many Americans are saddened, heartbroken and feeling helpless.   Many of us are angry, many of us are shaking our heads in disgust or simply questioning…Why?  How?

With any events that involve the murder of innocent children, my righteous anger wells up?

I try to stay in these places personally, because things like this breaks my heart deeply.  I also believe these break the heart of God.  When his creation, the very ones that He created have fallen so deeply in this sin sick world and because of their sin act out on others.

Sin separates us ALL from God’s perfect will.  Sin destroys and kills!  When we as a society excuse sin as this will only effect me…that is a myth and lie.  Sin harms others.  We see that the issues the person who committed this horrendous act has do with mental, nevertheless, that is not excuse, when we need to leave a life of self-control and I believe every heart and every life can be redeem for a greater purpose.

I will be honest with you I wrestle with the tension why things like this happen.  But here what I do know – “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” Psalm 34:18.  I also know that can deal with our pain and be confronted with our questions and doubts.  I also know that the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ, not empathizes with us but he truly understands what it is like to live in our sin sick world.

As I began praying yesterday about this tragedy, the Holy Spirit prompted me to go to Psalm 61

1 O God, listen to my cry!

Hear my prayer!

2 From the ends of the earth,

I cry to you for help

when my heart is overwhelmed.

Lead me to the towering rock of safety,

3 for you are my safe refuge,

a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.

4 Let me live forever in your sanctuary,

safe beneath the shelter of your wings!

Another passage, I started praying through for those who are weak and feel like they have no strength to cope at this time is Isaiah 40:29 – “He gives strength to the weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power.”

I know these passages can’t erase the loss, the pain, and the events of yesterday.  I do know God can give us the strength that we all need.  Even in the most hopeless of times and circumstances, He can restore hope.

via Inside the Heart, Mind and Soul of Chris Jarrell: Still Processing after 24 hours of a Horrible Event.

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