It has been a minute since I have listened to Christine Hassler’s podcast but this one came just in time:
Here’s a link to the show notes.
How to get clarity on whether a relationship is right for you
Begin your day the Stoic way
“The first hour is the rudder of the day” I have heard it said and what you put in that hour can make or break you. Consider starting your day like a Roman emperor!
If you’re looking for a resource to help you, may I suggest the following:
Bonus video:
With More Options Than Ever, Why Are We So Lonely?
In the age of complete connection, are we missing our soulmate? Source: With More Options Than Ever, Why Are We So Lonely?
All around, sometimes hidden
All we need is to experience what we already possess.
Thomas Merton
Why Men Say “I Love You” Before Women Do
Cross-national studies indicate “male confession bias” may be universal. Source: Why Men Say “I Love You” Before Women Do
Are They Genuinely Excited About Your Shared Future, or Are They Future Faking?
Future faking, or lying about future plans together, can give you false hope. Learn from psychologists all about why someone may do this, how to spot it, and what to do about it. Source: Are They Genuinely Excited About Your Shared Future, or Are They Future Faking? How To Spot the Manipulative Dating Tactic
Where do we find our value?
Karl Duffy shares: “How do you let go of attachment to things? Don’t even try. It’s impossible. Attachment to things drops away by itself when you no longer seek to find yourself in them.” Eckhart Tolle
Source: Where do we find our value?
What Exactly Is Gaslighting, and Why Do People Do It?
A new study shows what drives people to gaslight and how to recover from it. Source: What Exactly Is Gaslighting, and Why Do People Do It?
Do’s and Don’ts When Your Friend Has Cancer
Awkward comments may increase the isolation that cancer patients feel. Source: Do’s and Don’ts When Your Friend Has Cancer
The Good, the Bad, and the Technology
Embracing the coexistence of “good and bad” is essential for authentic progress. Here’s an excerpt:
“Philosophers like Friedrich Nietzsche and Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel have deeply explored the concept of duality. Nietzsche’s idea of “eternal recurrence” posits that life is a repetitive cycle of events that includes both triumphs and tragedies. Hegel’s dialectic underlines that the synthesis of thesis and antithesis results in a higher form of understanding. In both instances, the existence of bad is not merely an unfortunate byproduct of reality but an essential catalyst for growth and progress.”
I’m predisposed to like any author or article that positively uses Hegel’s dialectic. Just sayin’ :-D
Change the Painful History Channel Playing in Your Head
If your brain is stuck in a mental rut, it’s easier to get free than you think. Source: Change the Painful History Channel Playing in Your Head
How Wildfire Smoke Alters the Brain
The effects of biomass smoke inhalation on mental health. Source: How Wildfire Smoke Alters the Brain
What Kind of Love Lasts Longest?
Passionate love can burn out, but companionate love promises long-term warmth. Source: What Kind of Love Lasts Longest?
Reactive or Proactive? Aging Well Is All About Self-Care
Personal Perspective: Proactive means taking action before symptoms manifest. Source: Reactive or Proactive? Aging Well Is All About Self-Care
Editor’s note: This year is the year I got serious about diet and exercise again — this time the focus is entirely on being proactive for health reasons. I’ve lost 55lbs and I’m going for 100 by the end of the year. Diet, bike riding and Planet Fitness are now part of my new paradigm. The results have been amazing and if you’re in poor health of overweight, I encourage you to dig deeply into this issue. You’ll feel better!
How You Think Affects How You Feel
Psychotherapy can involve teaching people how to think differently. Source: How You Think Affects How You Feel
Are you Gaslighting Yourself?
Gaslighting, a term coined from the 1944 film “Gaslight,” refers to a manipulative tactic used by individuals to undermine the reality, perceptions, and emotions of others. It is a form of psychological abuse that can leave the victim feeling confused, doubting their own sanity, and questioning their own reality. In this blog post, we will explore what gaslighting is, how it affects individuals, and provide strategies to defend against it.
What is Gaslighting?
At its core, gaslighting is a pattern of behavior that involves psychological manipulation, causing the victim to doubt their memory, perceptions, and even their own sanity. Gaslighters employ a range of tactics such as denial, manipulation of facts, distortion of reality, and withholding information to gain control and power over their victims. Gaslighting often occurs in personal relationships, but it can also manifest in professional settings or larger social dynamics.
Read more: Are you Gaslighting Yourself?Recognizing Gaslighting Tactics
Gaslighting tactics can be subtle and gradual, making it difficult for victims to immediately recognize the manipulation. Here are some common signs of gaslighting:
- Constantly questioning your memory: Gaslighters often express doubt or disbelief about events, causing you to question your recollection of past experiences.
- Withholding information or resources: Gaslighters may deliberately withhold information or resources, making you dependent on them and undermining your sense of autonomy.
- Denying their actions or shifting blame: Gaslighters may deny their wrongdoing or shift blame onto you, making you doubt your perception of reality.
- Using your vulnerabilities against you: Gaslighters exploit your weaknesses, insecurities, or fears to manipulate and control your emotions.
- Contradicting your experiences: Gaslighters may invalidate your experiences and emotions, making you feel like your thoughts and feelings are invalid or irrational.
Impact of Gaslighting
Gaslighting can have profound emotional and psychological effects on individuals. Victims may experience:
- Doubt and confusion: Gaslighting can erode confidence and self-trust, leaving victims second-guessing their judgment and decisions.
- Anxiety and self-doubt: Gaslighting can cause feelings of constant anxiety, self-doubt, and hypervigilance as victims try to anticipate and navigate the gaslighter’s manipulative tactics.
- Isolation and dependence: Gaslighters often isolate their victims, making them increasingly dependent on the gaslighter for validation and support.
- Low self-esteem: Continuous gaslighting can lead to lowered self-esteem, as victims internalize the gaslighter’s negative narratives about themselves.
- Loss of identity: Gaslighting can cause victims to question their values, beliefs, and even their sense of reality, leading to a loss of personal identity.
Defending Against Gaslighting
Although dealing with gaslighting can be challenging, it is possible to protect yourself and regain your sense of self. Here are some strategies to defend against gaslighting:
- Educate yourself: Learn about gaslighting and its tactics, as recognizing them is the first step towards countering them.
- Trust your instincts: Believe in your intuition and feelings, and trust that your experiences are valid.
- Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a supportive and objective perspective.
- Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from further manipulation and enforce consequences if they are crossed.
- Practice self-care: Engage in activities that promote self-care, self-worth, and self-compassion. This could include journaling, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in hobbies you enjoy.
- Document incidents: Keep a record of gaslighting incidents, including dates, times, and descriptions. This can help validate your experiences and provide evidence if needed.
- Consider professional help: If the gaslighting is severe or pervasive, consider seeking professional help from a therapist specializing in trauma or abuse.
Remember, recovery from gaslighting takes time, support, and self-compassion. With dedication and self-belief, it is possible to reclaim your sense of reality and rebuild your life free from manipulation.
If you need additional support or resources, consider reaching out to helplines or organizations that specialize in abuse or mental health.
[Source: PsychCentral]
7 Signs You’re Being Manipulated
I often turn to Ashley Berges when I’m looking for insights into relationships. You might like her as well.
Bright, shiny objects! 
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