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4 Powerful Lessons from a Life Well Lived
4 Powerful Lessons from a Life Well Lived “We must each lead a way of life with self-awareness and compassion, to do as much as we can. T…0
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Expect…
Expect… “Winners, I am convinced, imagine their dreams first. They want it with all their heart and expect it to come true. There is, I…0
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Stop Sucking and Be Awesome Instead: A Three Step Process
Stop Sucking and Be Awesome Instead: A Three Step Process Nobody wants to suck, but the truth is, before you can be great at anything, yo…0
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“Learn to say ‘no’ to the good so you can say ‘yes’ to the best.”
– John C. Maxwell
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The Golden Opportunity
The Golden Opportunity “The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment, it is not in luck or chance…0
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On reaping and sowing…
“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant.” Robert Louis Stevenson. via Anderson Layman’s Blog: On r…0
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Is there anyone so wise as to learn by the experience of others?
Is there anyone so wise as to learn by the experience of others? – Voltaire via Is there anyone so wise as to learn by the experience of …0
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GIGO; ‘Garbage in, garbage out’
GIGO; ‘Garbage in, garbage out’ “On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], ‘Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the …0
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Withholding
Withholding Sometimes, to protect ourselves, we close ourselves off from a person we’re in a relationship with. Our body may be present, …0
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Being Honest with Ourselves and Removing Our Masks
Being Honest with Ourselves and Removing Our Masks “Our lives only improve when we are willing to take chances and the first and most dif…0
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Autobiography in 5 chapters
Autobiography in 5 chapters I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. I am lost … I am helpless. It isn’t…0
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Johnson & Johnson Introduces ‘Nothing But Tears’ Shampoo To Toughen Up Newborns
Johnson & Johnson Introduces ‘Nothing But Tears’ Shampoo To Toughen Up Newborns After decades of coddling young children, Johnson & Johns…0
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I could care less about gardening…
but I don’t think I could care more about the gardener! She looks so adorable in her hat…0
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It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters, in the end.
—Ursula K. LeGuin0
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If you ever must decide between winning a fight and being happy…
notsalmon via If you ever must decide between winning a fight and being happy….0
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“He who angers you conquers you.”
–Elizabeth Kenny0
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I’m working on a new way…
Reblogged from e1evation, llc: …to tell the ‘thought leadership’ marketing story. First off, no Microsoft products; Google Drive. Secon…0
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A man who has committed a mistake and doesn’t correct it is committing another mistake.
–Confucius0
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My favorite news website…
is not news.google.com. It’s newsmap.jp! Newsmap presents the news in an interesting format based on trends – you can also slice and dice…0
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“Making prompt amends is the fresh air of each new day.”
–Sandra Little0
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Battle of Little Bighorn; This Day in History – 6/25/1876
Battle of Little Bighorn; This Day in History – 6/25/1876 Crazy Horse and Sitting Bull, leaders of the Sioux tribe on the Great Plains, s…0
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Don’t argue for other people’s weaknesses. Don’t argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it–immediately.
–Stephen Covey0
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One Child’s Love…
Very Demotivational: One Child’s Love… – Lolcats – Funny Pictures of Cats – I Can Has Cheezburger?.0
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Left to itself, nature takes ordinary garbage and transforms it into useful nutrients that help sustain life. It’s usually poor human action that makes garbage a problem.
Our mental and emotional garbage takes the forms of bad memories, festering resentments, and useless regrets. We waste time berating ourselves and others about bad decisions and experiences that are behind us.
The magic of the 12 Step program is that we can use it to transform this mental garbage into useful experience. A past mistake can become as asset when we share it with others. Pain and suffering can teach a lesson that helps all of us to grow. By forgiving others, a resentment can be turned into a friendship.
I’ll resolve today not to worry about garbage any longer than it takes to identify it and release it to my Higher Power for transformation.
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Charity
Charity Melody Beattie writes: We need healthy boundaries about receiving money, and we need healthy boundaries about giving money. Some …0
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Quote: When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that three of his fingers are pointing at himself.
—Louis NizerIt’s so easy to blame others. Others are always making mistakes we can hide behind. That’s what blame is—hiding. When we blame others for our mistakes, we’re trying to hide our character defects.
It’s nobody else’s fault that we act the way we do. It’s our fault. We’re responsible for our actions.
And with the help of our Higher Power, we can change. We can turn over our character defects. Over time, we’re not afraid to learn about ourselves—even the parts we don’t like—because we want to know ourselves better.
Prayer for the Day: I pray for help in facing my character defects.
Action for the Day: I’ll think about the past week. I’ll list times I’ve used blame to hide from reality.
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Charity
Melody Beattie writes:
We need healthy boundaries about receiving money, and we need healthy boundaries about giving money.
Some of us give money for inappropriate reasons.
We may be ashamed because we have money and don’t believe we deserve it. We may belong to an organization that uses shame as a form of control to coerce us out of our money that the organization wants.
We can get hooked into giving money to our children, family members, or friends because we have earned or unÂearned guilt. We allow ourselves to be financially blackÂmailed, sometimes by the people we love.
This is not money freely given, or given in health.
Some of us give money out of a sense of caretaking. We may have exaggerated feelings of responsibility for others, including financial responsibility.
We may be giving simply because we have not learned to own our power to say no when the answer is no.
Some of us give because we hope or believe people will love us if we take care of them financially.
We do not have to give money to anyone. Giving money is our choice. We do not have to allow ourselves to be victimized, manipulated, or coerced out of our money. We are financially responsible for ourselves. Part of being healthy is allowing those around us be financially responsible for themselves.
We do not have to be ashamed about having the money that we earn; we deserve to have the money we have been given — whatever the amount, without feeling obligated to give it all away, or guilty because others want what we have.
Charity is a blessing. Giving is part of healthy living. We can learn to develop healthy boundaries around giving.
Today, I will strive to begin developing healthy boundaries about giving money. I understand that giving is my choice.
Withholding
Sometimes, to protect ourselves, we close ourselves off from a person we’re in a relationship with. Our body may be present, but we’re not. We’re not available to participate in the relationship.
We shut down.
Sometimes, it is appropriate and healthy to shut down in a relationship. We may legitimately need some time out. Sometimes it is self-defeating to close ourselves off in a relationship.
To stop being vulnerable, honest, and present for another person can put an end to the relationship. The other person can do nothing in the relationship when we are gone. Closing ourselves makes us unavailable to that relationship.
It is common to go through temporary periods of closing down in a relationship. But it is unhealthy to make this an ongoing practice. It may be one of our relationship-sabotaging devices.
Before we close down, we need to ask ourselves what we are hoping to accomplish by shutting down. Do we need some time to deal? To heal? To grow? To sort through things? Do we need time out from this relationship? Or are we reverting to our old ways – hiding, running, and terminating relationships because we are afraid we cannot take care of ourselves in any other way?
Do we need to shut down because the other person truly isn’t safe, is manipulating, lying, or acting out addictively or abusively? Are we shutting down because the other person has shut down and we no longer want to be available?
Shutting down, shutting off, closing ourselves and removing our emotional presence from a relationship is a powerful tool. We need to use it carefully and responsibly. To achieve intimacy and closeness in a relationship, we need to be present emotionally. We need to be available.
God, help me be emotionally present in the relationships I choose to be in.” via Just For Today Meditations » 2012 » June » 23.
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Owning Our Power
More goodness for my spirit from Melody Beattie:
We don’t have to give others so much power and ourselves so little. We don’t have to give others so much credit and ourselves so little. In recovery from codependency, we learn there’s a big difference between humility and discounting ourselves.
When others act irresponsibly and attempt to blame their problems on us, we no longer feel guilty. We let them face their own consequences.
When others talk nonsense, we don’t question our own thinking.
When others try to manipulate or exploit us, we know it’s okay to feel anger and distrust and to say no to the plan.
When others tell us that we want something that we really don’t want, or someone tells us that we don’t want someÂthing that we really do want, we trust ourselves. When others tell us things we don’t believe, we know it’s okay to trust our instincts.
We can even change our mind later.
We don’t have to give up our personal power to anyone: strangers, friends, spouses, children, authority figures, or those over whom we’re in authority. People may have things to teach us. They may have more information than we have, and may appear more confident or forceful than we feel. But we are equals. Our magic is not in them. Our magic, our light, is in us. And it is as bright a light as theirs.
We are not second-class citizens. By owning our power, we don’t have to become aggressive or controlling. We don’t have to discount others. But we don’t discount ourÂselves either.
Today, I will own my power with people. I will let myself know what I know, feel what I feel, believe what 1 believe, and see what I see. I will be open to changing and learning from others and experience, but I will trust and validate myself too. I will stand in my own truth.” via June 24: Owning Our Power.
Detachment

Melody Beattie writes:
Detachment doesn’t come naturally for many of us. But once we realize
the value of this recovery principle, we understand how vital detachment
is. The following story illustrates how a woman came to understand
detachment.“The first time I practiced detachment was when I let go of my alcoholic
husband. He had been drinking for seven years, since I had married him.
For that long, I had been denying his alcoholism and trying to make him
stop drinking.“I did outrageous things to make him stop drinking, to make him see the
light, to make him realize how much he was hurting me. I really thought
I was doing things right by trying to control him.“One night, I saw things clearly. I realized that my attempts to control
him would never solve the problem. I also saw that my life was
unmanageable. I couldn’t make him do anything he didn’t want to do. His
alcoholism was controlling me, even though I wasn’t drinking.“I set him free, to do as he chose. The truth is, he did as he pleased
anyway. Things changed the night I detached. He could feel it, and so
could I. When I set him free, I set myself free to live my own life.
“I’ve had to practice the principle of detachment many times since then.
I’ve had to detach from unhealthy people and healthy people. It’s never
failed. Detachment works.”Detachment is a gift. It will be given to us when we’re ready for it.
When we set the other person free, we are set free….
Learning healthy detachment has been one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. I knew how to be attached in an unhealthy way; it’s called codependency. I knew how to be detached in an unhealthy way; it’s called “Eff you — I’m leaving!”. Healthy detachment for me looks a lot like interdependence without giving over control or response-ability to my partner but I can’t say that I’ve mastered it yet or that I will in this lifetime. It may come naturally to some people but it does not come naturally to me — I have to work hard at it every day. I don’t claim perfection — only progress — but I know that learning healthy detachment is one of the best investments I can make in myself…
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- …on Control (toddlohenry.com)
Work and recovery
Melody Beattie writes this about work:
Just as we have relationship histories, most of us have work histories.
Just as we have a present circumstance to accept and deal with in our relationship life, we have a present circumstance to accept and deal with in our work life.
Just as we develop a healthy attitude toward our relationship history – one that will help us learn and move forward – we can develop a healthy attitude toward our work history.
I have worked many jobs in my life, since I was eleven years old. Just as I have learned many things about myself through my relationships, I have learned many lessons through my work. Often, these lessons run parallel to the lessons I’m learning in other areas of my life.
I have worked at jobs I hated but was temporarily dependent on. I have gotten stuck in jobs because I was afraid to strike out on my own and find my next set of circumstances.
I have been in some jobs to develop skills. Sometimes, I didn’t realize I was developing those skills until later on when they become an important part of the career of my choice.
I have worked at jobs where I felt victimized, where I gave and gave and received nothing in return. I have been in relationships where I manufactured similar feelings.
I have worked at some jobs that have taught me what I absolutely didn’t want; others sparked in me an idea of what I really did want and deserve in my career.
Some of my jobs have helped me develop character; others have helped me fine tune skills. They have all been a place to practice recovery behaviors.
Just as I have had to deal with my feelings and messages about myself in relationships, I have had to deal with my feelings and messages about myself, and what I believed I deserved at work.
I have been through two major career changes in my life. I learned that neither career was a mistake and no job was wasted time. I have learned something from each job, and my work history has helped create who I am.
I learned something else: there was a Plan, and I was being led. The more I trusted my instincts, what I wanted, and what felt right, the more I felt that I was being led.
The more I refused to lose my soul to a job and worked at it because I wanted to and not for the paycheck, the less victimized I felt by any career, even those jobs that paid a meager salary. The more I set goals and took responsibility for achieving the career I wanted, the more I could decide whether a particular job fit into that scheme of things. I could understand why I was working at a particular job and how that was going to benefit me.
There are times I have even panicked at work and about where I was in my employment history. Panic never helped. Trust and working my program did.
There were times I looked around and wondered why I was where I was. There were times people thought I should be someplace different. But when I looked into myself and at God, I knew I was in the right place, for the moment.
There were times I have had to quit a job and walk away in order to be true to myself. Sometimes, that was frightening. Sometimes, I felt like a failure. But I learned this: If I was working my program and true to myself, I never had to fear where I was being led.
There have been times I couldn’t survive on the small amount of money I was receiving. Instead of bringing that issue to a particular employer and making it his or her fault, I have had to learn to bring the issue to my Higher Power and myself. I’ve learned I’m responsible for setting my boundaries and establishing what I believe I deserve. I’ve also learned God, not a particular employer, is my source of guidance.
I’ve learned that I’m not stuck or trapped in a job no more than I am in a relationship. I have choices. I may not be able to see them clearly right now, but I do have choices. I’ve learned that if I really want to take care of myself in a particular way on a job, I will do that. And if I really want to be victimized by a job, I will allow that to happen too.
I am responsible for my choices, and I have choices.
Above all else, I’ve learned to accept and trust my present circumstances at work. That does not mean to submit; it does not mean to forego boundaries. It means to trust, accept, then take care of myself the best I’m able to on any given day.
God, help me bring my recovery behaviors to my career affairs.” via Thought for the Day — Hazelden.




















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