Author: Todd Lohenry

The internet is filled with bright, shiny objects. Many of them end up here! A @toddlohenry project. Be shiny!!!

No More Excuses!

The Daily Love via Visual Inspiration: No More Excuses!.

0

Why America Is Obese

Why America Is Obese (Infographic).

3

Constant dripping hollows out a stone

BrainyQuote via Constant dripping hollows out a stone. – Lucretius.

0

My mouth is a fire escape…

Lead.Learn.Live. via My mouth is a fire escape….

0

Bird’s Foot Trefoil

Pops Digital via Bird’s Foot Trefoil.

1

What would kindness do?

Manifestation Station via Manifest-Station Message of the Day..

5

How to Stay Young… Even with Kids!

via Stepcase Lifehack. Read the article here: How to Stay Young…Even with Kids.

0

Put Your Excuses in a Pile of Sh*t

Jennifer Pastiloff writes:

One of the things I do in my Manifestation Workshops and Retreats is have people write down all their excuses on a piece of paper and then rip it up and put it in a pile at the front of the room. The little pieces of paper mix in with other little pieces of paper and look like a pile of trash. Which is, essentially, what they are.

So what do the papers say? What excuses am I talking about?

Any and all excuses.

Any excuses that we have collected over the years that stop us from going after what we want or saying Yes.

Mine have ranged from:

  • I don’t have enough money,
  • It will be hard,
  • I don’t have enough experience,
  • People won’t like me,
  • I am too old,
  • I am too fat
  • I am too tired
  • I am not good enough,

… and on and on depending on the year, the day, the mood.

So, I have them put the excuses into this pile at the front of the room, and then I ask them what the pile is. We all agree it is a pile of trash, of garbage, of sh*t. I then take a picture of it and tell anyone that if they ever forget that they have put their excuse into this pile, they can email me or call me and I will send them the photo as a sweet reminder.

Some people struggle when I ask them to rip up the excuses. You can see a slight subtle pull of resistance. Like they are afraid of who they might be, of what they might do, without their beloved excuse that they have clung to for so long.

At my last retreat in Italy, just a week ago, a girl from Philadelphia shared something really profound with me.

She had attended my workshop in Philadelphia at Dhyana Yoga in March. After the workshop, she emailed me to inquire about my Tuscany retreat. We exchanged a few emails, and then she decided she couldn’t make it happen.

A few days later she emailed me back and said she had changed her mind and was going to join me.

In Tuscany, she told me that she had been standing in her kitchen making tea after our initial emails where she told me she couldn’t make the retreat happen when it hit her like a pot of boiling water!

She had realized that all the excuses she had given me as to why she could not attend the retreat in Italy where no longer usable because she had ripped them up and put them into a pile of sh*t on the floor of Dhyana Yoga back in March. The excuses ran the gamut from she didn’t have enough money, she didn’t have anyone to go with, she wasn’t “good” at yoga, etc. She told me all of this with tears in her eyes in Italy, where she made lifelong friends and had a life-changing experience.

Yes, it was just words on a paper and a metaphor of throwing excuses into a pile of garbage. But, did it matter? She remembered that metaphor, and that action of ripping up her excuses, and chose to no longer use them.

We always have the choice.

Read the rest of the article here: Put Your Excuses in a Pile of Sh*t

Related articles
3

If You Were Waiting For A Sign… This Is It

Alltop Inspiration RSS via If You Were Waiting For A Sign.. This Is It.

3

A basic thought

Alltop Recovery RSS via basic thoughts.

5

Jimmy Fallon’s Late Night Snack…

Ummm. This actually sounds good! Would you eat it in a box? Would you eat it with a fox? In 10 Words via Jimmy Fallon’s Late Night Snack…In 10 Words.

0

Funny Sticky Notes

Gotta get some!

Funny Sticky Notes 50 Sheets You Park Like An Idiot by NeatThings on Wanelo.

0

Connecting the dots on ego and narcissism

1

The Rules Don’t Apply to Me, A$$hole!

Tara Palmatier shares this thought:

“Entitlement and narcissism are on the rise in our culture. Every now and again, you get to witness what happens when entitlement and a lack of smarts collide.

And that’s what happened at the Alamo Drafthouse last summer when an angry customer left an indignant, expletive riddled and hilarious voicemail to complain about being kicked out of one of their theaters for texting on her phone during a movie. Please note, I don’t think the woman who left the voicemail intended it to be hilarious, but don’t forget about what I said earlier about the entitlement and lack of smarts combo.

I don’t live anywhere near an Alamo Drafthouse cinema, but if I did, I’d happily give them my patronage. I think they handled this exactly right.

If you are at work, please turn down the volume or plug in your headset as the woman caller uses a good deal of profanity:” via Friday Funny: The Rules Don’t Apply to Me, A$$hole! | Shrink4Men.

4

The Ego Epidemic: Narcissism Is On the Rise

Dr Tara J. Palmatier shares this article from an article on Mail Online:

There’s an interesting article on the rise of narcissism at the Mail Online, “The ego epidemic: How more and more of us women have an inflated sense of our own fabulousness. The author, Lucy Taylor, cites research by Jean M. Twenge, PhD and W. Keith Campbell, PhD in their book, The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement. W. Keith Campbell, PhD has also researched and written about narcissism as it pertains to social media platforms. His work is cited in the post, Social Media Platforms, Narcissists, Borderlines and Histrionics: The Lure of Blogs, Facebook and MySpace.

In the Mail’s article, Ms Taylor shares the following research from Twenge and Campbell” Read the rest of the article here: The Ego Epidemic: Narcissism Is On the Rise « A Shrink for Men.

Curating a curated article? That’s ‘triple dipping’! See?! I AM the kingofcuration. :-D

3

Do You Have an Ego Problem?

/ id, ego, super-ego /

Alan Shelton writes:

In a world filled with the worship of the ego, those who pursue transformation stand in an opposite camp. What is it that they know that the rest of the world seems to ignore?

Our media is full of seminars and programs dedicated to what we might call self-mastery. But seekers seem to have seen through this masquerade. It is as though the world were the King in the story of the Emperor’s new clothes. So what is it that they see?

All transformation nests in a sense of being “in the flow”. Every serious seeker, whether it be in a class of yoga or a meditation retreat has had that earth shattering experience of disappearing into the whole.

It is that first experience that most will never forget nor can they ignore. When this occurs, it is almost immediately understood that the normal ego state has abated and something bigger has taken its place. Has the ego been lost? No. It simply has been re-situated into its rightful place as a placeholder in the whole movement in consciousness. Now, that movement is accessible to the new seeker.

In this revelation it is obvious that mastering the ego as a specific piece apart from the whole will not move one in the direction of permanent transformation. And so the transformative crowd moves with unquestioned inspiration into the unknown drawn by that first simple taste.

The beauty of this journey in today’s global and corporate world is that the new generations are demanding that life be about something bigger than “just me”. In their inner experience they have understood that the pursuit of goals for “myself only” is a continuing confirmation of the dominance of the ego. They have felt something bigger than that occur in their own world, and rightfully, they now seek to serve that bigger sense and lose their ego’s sense of authority in the process.

Years ago, while sitting in an ashram in India, I heard a master declare “ego is simply a functional resistance to what is”. In that moment, it was obvious to me that resistance is something that can be felt within and if that is the case, that a doorway to transformation was in the felt experience of the moment.

That first taste of disappearing into the “whole” that I had experienced as a young seeker was simply the resistance ebbing and wholeness which had always been present appearing in its proper place. So, it occurred to me that by tracking my internal felt experience that I could know when my ego was at play.

Over the years I have tracked that internal resistance and noted when it was most obvious that I was playing the egomaniac. These are my favorite obvious behaviors that indicate the ego is at large.” via Do You Have an Ego Problem? | FinerMinds.

4

Let It Go: Switching Off Your Inner Chatter

Letting go

Don’t you hate those days where you can’t turn off the negative internal chatter in your head? When you wake up in the morning and the very thing that was circling around in your head the night before is there to greet you with a big nudge, and not even a coffee?

This negative chatter can really impact your productivity throughout the day and ruin your ability to live in the moment. It’s only natural that we worry about circumstances in our lives, we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. However, when these thoughts consume our heads to the point where we find it difficult to concentrate on anything else, it’s important you have a coping mechanism in place to try and get you through the day.

When it comes to decluttering the head and letting go of what’s worrying you, we found some really practical tips in 7 Ways To Let Go Of What’s Ailing You. The article explains that while we may not be able to solve the problem on the spot, there are many ways we can try and let it go of it for the time being.

“Letting go doesn’t mean ignoring the problem. It simply means that you realize that there is nothing you can do about the issue right now, and rather than having it consume your life with stress and anxiety you are going to put it aside until you are in a position where you can deal with it.”

One of our favorite tips in the article is the visualization exercise. If you’re not used to visualizing, this may seem a little strange to start off with, however, this method can be very effective as it puts you in a position of control to deal with the problem, even if it’s just in your head. For example:

“Imagine the thing that is bothering you, and then visualize placing it in a balloon and watching it float away.”

You’ll be surprised by how therapeutic this exercise can be and the ability for it to free your mind.

If this method isn’t for you, another helpful tip is to write your thoughts down. If you feel the anxiety building in the morning before you’ve even entered the shower, sit down and freely write your thoughts, paying little attention to the need for it to make sense.

The aim is to release everything from your mind, no matter how illogical your thoughts may seem, and write for as long as it takes to get everything out. You’ll be surprised how easily and quickly the words fall to the page when they come from the heart – it’s almost as if the brain is relieved it has an opportunity to freely unload. Even if writing isn’t your forte, this is a very easy exercise which you can turn into a daily practice.

Do you use a technique to turn off the internal chatter running around in your head? Or perhaps you have several depending how severe the issue is? Tell us about your favorite method and how effective it is at “letting thoughts go”. via Let It Go: Switching Off Your Inner Chatter.

2

How to Never Forget Anything Again

Leo Babauta writes:

The human brain is a wonderful thing, but it’s a bit faulty as a tool for remembering things. Luckily for us (and for our frazzled brains), technology has stepped in to help out.

With the proper habits and the right tools, you and your brain won’t have to remember a thing again.

There are a host of tech tools that can help with taking notes, managing projects and to-dos, and manage your email and calendar needs just fine. Though I’ll include the best choices below, these tools are just one piece of the puzzle. There are more elegant methods (ever scheduled something in Google Calendar via voicemail?)…

To really never have to remember a thing again, you have to combine a few tools in smart and comprehensive fashion, and even more important, you have to develop specific habits that will ensure that things don’t slip between the cracks … because the cracks just get bigger and bigger with more time and more data.

In this post I’ll look at some of the requirements of a “Never Forget Again” system, along with 4 key habits for using that system. I’ll include my setup, as well as some other tools you can use to develop your own setup.” Read the rest of the article here: How to Never Forget Anything Again.

Like Leo, I use Evernote, Gmail and Google Calendar, but I use Google tasks instead of ‘Anxiety’. Evernote is always available and syncronizes between devices and supports Leo’s 4 critical habits as well as David Allen’s Getting Things Done [GTD] principles…

0

Limit Screen Time, Limit Sitting

Leo Babauta writes:

One of the hazards of our modern lifestyle is our tendency to become more and more addicted to staring at screens, and more and more sedentary.

We look at laptops and desktop computers, iPhones and Androids and iPads and iPods, TVs and movie screens, play video games, watch videos, surf the web, socialize online, work online. And we’re sitting the whole time.

I’m a victim of this as much as anyone else. My family and I are drifting toward this lifestyle, and while I’m no Luddite, I do believe that we should live less as victims and more consciously.

Too much screen time means less active time, less personal socializing, less focus on the present, less time for cooking healthy food, less time reading novels, painting, making music, making time for the ones you love. And too much sitting means fewer years on your life.

So what’s a better way?

Limits.

Limit how much screen time you have each day. Limit your sitting to short periods with breaks in between.

I realize that many people have jobs that require them to have a minimum amount of computer time, and probably mostly sitting. So I don’t recommend a certain number, only that you figure out a limit and work with that.

What I’ve Been Doing

Though I’ve set limits for myself in the past, I’ll admit that they’ve eroded in recent months, so that my screen time has grown over time. And not just for me — for my wife and kids. So recently Eva and I set limits for ourselves, and we’ve been working with them.

We find them to be great. I find daily limits to be a better balance than going on week-long or month-long digital sabbaticals, which aren’t realistic for many people.

Here’s an example:

  • We set a limit of either 4 or 5 hours of total screen time a day. (We haven’t figured out what’s best yet, still experimenting.)
  • That total is broken into 30-minute chunks. So if it’s 5 hours total, that’s 10 chunks of 30 minutes.
  • At the start of a 30-minute chunk, I set a computer timer and put a tally mark on a text document, so I know how many chunks I’ve used today. When the bell rings, I close my laptop.
  • After the 30-minute chunk, I take a break of at least 30 minutes. I try to get up and move, stretch, play with the kids, get outside. I also often read a novel. The moving is good for my body, and helps me to think.
  • If I have things I want to look up online, or write online, I’ll just make a note of it and do it when I start my next 30-minute chunk.

This isn’t the only way to do it — you’ll have to find the limit that works for you, and the chunk size that works for you. But the idea is to set limits, and to break the total up into pieces so you’ll take breaks and do other things.

Benefits of the Limits

We’ve loved it: we’re reading more books, spending more personal time with each other and the kids, getting more chores done, exercising more, playing outside more.

It also means that because we have a limit, we have to figure out the best way to use that time. We have to make choices — what’s worthy of our limited time, and what isn’t? This means more conscious use of our time.

We haven’t instituted the limits with the kids yet, though we have been talking to them about it and getting them thinking about what would work best for them. And we do tell them to take breaks from devices throughout the day, so they’ll do other things.

For the kids, this has meant they have more unstructured, imaginative play, more reading, more art and music, more activity. Kids get addicted to screens just as much as adults do, and it’s not a healthy thing for them. We’re trying to teach them ways to live a healthy lifestyle, which is a lesson with lifelong benefits.

We’ve found this lifestyle to be healthier, better for relationships, better for our peace of mind. And to me, that means it’s something work keeping.

More reading:

via Limit Screen Time, Limit Sitting.

4

Social Media Platforms, Narcissists, Borderlines and Histrionics: The Lure of Blogs, Facebook and MySpace

Dr Tara J. Palmatier writes:

Over the last few months, many Shrink4Men readers have posted comments about how much time their spouses, girlfriends and exes spend on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter personal blogs and other social media platforms like mommy and bridal websites. Their behavior goes far beyond the typical sharing of family photos or funny news links. These individuals create their own public-relations-spin-control-propaganda-I-am-the-center-of-the universe profiles, networks and feeds.

One recently divorced reader’s (Still Recovering) ex-wife became obsessed with her profile and “friends” on a popular bridal site, TheKnot, and then a newlywed site, TheNest. His ex maintained her elaborate profile post-divorce—including photos of him and their wedding—and communicated with her followers as if they were still married. After repeatedly requesting that she remove his photos, he publicly outed her regarding the divorce. His ex and her online friends erupted into a flame war in which they portrayed him as the abusive psycho rather than his ex-wife who was masquerading as a perennial bride-newlywed in order to maintain her status and feel special. Still Recovering suspects that his ex-wife may, in fact, be a narcissistic personality.

Other readers report that their wives, girlfriends and exes spend inordinate amounts of time every day fine tuning their profiles and posting updates in which they portray themselves as busy “super moms/super wives/super martyrs” who single-handedly run their households and take care of their children and husbands. One wonders how they do all of this while spending most of the day online.

What’s the connection between narcissism and social media?” Read the rest of the article here: Social Media Platforms, Narcissists, Borderlines and Histrionics: The Lure of Blogs, Facebook and MySpace « A Shrink for Men.

Related articles
2

Creating Peace by Finding a Connection to the Earth

“You get peace of mind not by thinking about it or imagining it, but by quietening and relaxing the restless mind.” ~Remez Sasson. Read the rest of the article here: Creating Peace by Finding a Connection to the Earth | Tiny Buddha.

0

Start a Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑